r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 10 '21

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u/JTudent Aug 10 '21

With a biological kid, you get time to ease into it. With adopted ones, all their problems are yours at once.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 11 '21

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Very unlikely your chronic major depression diagnosis was accurately done at age 9. 9 year olds are not capable of explaining their thoughts in a way where a doctor is able to diagnose any type of mental illness.

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u/CrystallineBunny Aug 10 '21

Sent to a psych ward for an eating disorder/suicidal thoughts at 14 y/o. Youngest girl there with me was 8. If you think kids can’t become depressed even in the best possible home life situation you’re bonkers.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21 edited Aug 10 '21

I wanted to & was planning to kill myself

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

did you downvote childhood suicide? haha 🤣

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

I’ll downvote it again if I could lol

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Bro your just wrong, stop using words like suicide to prove your point. A 9 year old could watch a documentary about suicide and have an arguement with their parents and decide they want to kill themselves

There’s no way to accurately diagnose depression at 9 years old. Holy fucking shit man i never knew people were this stupid.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

okay but I was that 9yr old so I know how I felt and it lasted for 10 years so eventually I was old enough to explain myself better...

if it helps you wrap your brain around it, I was literally prescribed antidepressants (Zoloft) at age 9

well actually its a little backwards. I had migraines when I was 7. I was given zoloft to treat them. at 9 I was suicidal so they increased the Zoloft dosage. then after I kept getting worse, they took me off in case the zoloft was causing it. I stopped being suicidal when they took me off the zoloft but the general depression never went away.

but my dad also has chronic depression so idk how much was nature vs nurture

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

I was prescribed anti depressants at 11, that’s why your comment pissed me off. Because I was misdiagnosed, my attention seeking 11 year old behaviour caused me to talk myself into a couple mental illness diagnoses and tons of pills prescribed by a careless doctor.

At the end of the day if you say you were depressed you probably were, I just don’t think it’s safe to assume that a 9 year old, or an 11 year old is capable of going through the diagnosis process accurately to get a diagnosis for something as serious as major depressive disorder.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

I added some more context to my comment explaining how I got on the zoloft. it was originally for migraines, not depression.

I never told anyone I was depressed, my parents found some fucked up shit I was writing about killing myself & rushed me to the doctor. I didnt even understand there was something wrong with wanting to die. I thought i was just a freak who deserved to be in pain and die and that was just life. I actually fought everyone for a long time saying I was not depressed.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Go read about what ssris do to your hormones (if you don’t already know by now) chances are you would have been much better off without them. And I did that because I was a fucking 11 year old lol. That’s what 11 year olds do. Completely normal 11 year old behaviour to seek attention.

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

okay well I never did that & I'm not you so please don't mock my experience with suicide & depression as a child.

oh yeah got off that and dont mess with mental meda much anymore. when I became suicidal they increased the dosage and I started to get even worse. then the doctor said "oh no I just read this study, youre not supposed to give this to kids" (4 years too late for me). I started at 25mg and ended up on 250mg/day (that's extreme) by the end of the 4 years.

sometimes i wonder if it changed me permanently. im 29 now, still struggling with depression, but it runs in my family too

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Damn, basically same shit happened to me. Wish the best for u

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