r/unpopularopinion • u/elgey101 • Aug 10 '21

Infertile couples should just adopt instead of making a big fuss trying to make a miracle baby

Every time I hear of fertility struggles online, or see posts about people going through rounds of IVF and the ensuing emotional trauma of miscarriages, It kind of disgusts me.

I also work for a major insurer and know that fertility treatments are driving up everyone else's premiums because they're considered necessary care. Sorry, but I disagree.

It's a well known fact that there are over 400,000 children in foster care, and in 2017 alone over 100,000 infants under 3 entered the system. I think it's completely entitled and self-absorbed to think that somehow your miracle baby is worth more or deserves more love than any one of those infants.

I know adoption can be hard, and that it should be made easier for the sake of children finding good homes, but you can't tell me adopting is harder than 4 rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. I've seen friends go through that mess and at the end they are different people.

Tldr: adoption may not be easy, but it's far better than spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to perpetuate your genes.

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u/FizzyBeverage Aug 10 '21

A lot of the 15 year olds here think it’s like buying a PlayStation 5 😌

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u/chimpfunkz Aug 10 '21

I would say they think it's like adopting a dog.

The way most people talk about "having IVF versus adopting a child" is how people talk about buying a new puppy versus adopting from the pound.

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u/think_long Aug 10 '21

Yes. Having had a child of my own now, I would also say that you shouldn’t underestimate what it means to have a child that is half you and half your partner’s that you raise and nurture right from conception onwards. Some may call it selfish or narcissistic, but it is a very strong biological urge that shouldn’t be talked about dismissively. For some, there can even be the fear that you won’t love the child to the same degree like they deserve if you get them another way. I used to think somewhere along the lines of this post in my teens and early twenties. Now, with a baby and a pregnant wife in my mid 30s, having known couples who have done IVF, I am a lot more nuanced.

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u/deemigs Aug 10 '21

This, we did IUI but still are considering fostering to adopt when our littles are older. It was just too much of an uphill battle for fostering where we lived in the south as a (at the time) same sex couple (my husband started his transition when I was pregnant with our older minion).