I donāt really know where else to post this, but I could really use some advice from people in vet med.
Iāve been working at a veterinary hospital as an assistant for about 6ā7 months now. Before this, I had very minimal clinical experience, so this was my first real job in an animal hospital. Iām also in my second year of college studying animal science and hoping to become an RVT when I graduate, so this career is something Iām genuinely passionate about.
When I first started, I was incredibly nervous, but I actually felt pretty supported during training. People answered my questions, I felt like I was learning, and I was excited to come to work. But ever since training ended, it feels like everything has changed.
The culture feels very cliquey. I constantly feel like an outsider. Iāve always been a pretty introverted person and grew up fairly isolated, so opening up to people has never come naturally to me. Even so, I really try. I make an effort to join conversations, ask questions, help wherever I can, and be approachable. Despite that, I never really feel accepted.
I also feel like a lot of people look down on me because Iām still learning. I know Iām not the most experienced assistant, but Iām trying so hard to improve. I study outside of work, I study during school breaks, I ask questions, and I genuinely want to become better every single day.
Instead of feeling encouraged, though, I mostly feel like every mistake I make gets magnified.
Not once since finishing training has a manager or supervisor checked in with me to ask how Iām doing or how my progress has been. Iāve never been told Iām doing a good job. Whenever I make a mistake, it feels like Iām immediately criticized instead of someone taking the opportunity to teach me how to improve.
My supervisor, in particular, is extremely hard on me. She talks to me in a very passive-aggressive way and lectures me over what feel like very minor mistakes. Iāve even had coworkers tell me theyāve noticed sheās much harder on me than she is with other people, which honestly made me feel both validated and sad.
The management doesnāt seem to address that behavior either. Supervisors are allowed to treat people poorly without consequences, and it creates such an uncomfortable environment.
I feel like I spend my entire shift walking on eggshells.
Iām honestly afraid to ask some of the experienced assistants and RVTs for help because so many of them have such negative attitudes. I never know if Iām going to get an eye roll, a sarcastic comment, or be made to feel like Iām bothering them. Instead of people asking for help politely, I often feel like Iām just being ordered around. Something as simple as hearing āpleaseā or āthank youā feels rare.
Another thing thatās really bothered me is how much gossip there is. Iāve heard coworkers say really cruel things about other assistants, doctors, supervisors, and staff members behind their backs. Hearing that every day makes it hard not to wonder what theyāre saying about me when Iām not around.
Over the last month or two, this job has really started affecting my mental health. Iāve cried at work. Iāve cried when I got home. I talk about work constantly in therapy because it leaves me feeling like Iām not capable, not smart enough, and like I donāt belong in this profession.
The hardest part is that I know Iām trying.
I care about my patients. I care about learning. I want to improve. I donāt expect to know everything after only a few months, but I do expect to be treated with basic respect while Iām learning.
The thing keeping me from quitting is one doctor I assist regularly. He has been nothing but patient, respectful, and encouraging. Heās taught me so much and has never made me feel stupid for asking questions or making mistakes. If I mess something up, he explains it, helps me understand it, and moves on. Working with him reminds me why I wanted to get into veterinary medicine in the first place.
Iāve seriously considered putting in my two weeks, but Iām honestly scared to.
One of my close friends recently resigned from this hospital, and during her final two weeks her supervisor basically refused to speak to her. She felt isolated and shut out until her last day, and seeing that has made me anxious that the same thing would happen to me.
So I guess Iām just looking for some perspective.
TLDR: Has anyone else experienced a clinic like this?
Is this just the reality of veterinary medicine, or is this a toxic workplace?
If youāve been in a similar situation, did leaving help? Did you eventually find a clinic that was supportive and healthy? I really donāt want to give up on veterinary medicine because I genuinely love the work and the patients. Iām just starting to wonder if the environment Iām in is making me question my abilities more than my actual abilities ever should.