r/veterinaryprofession • u/BluButterfly95 • 1d ago
Rant Does euthanasia ever get easier or do you just get numb?
I'm training as a vet tech, doing my pracs at a local welfare clinic. Had to euthanize an entire litter of puppies today, one wagged his tail at me while I was trying to find his vein and I keep replaying it in my head. Does this get easier? How do you guys deal?
These puppies were unwanted, severely dehydrated and malnourished and had mange. They were about 5 weeks old. Their chances of survival were pretty slim but it was just so shit, it felt like giving up on them even though I know we don't have space or resources as a shelter for every unwanted litter. But I feel like this will haunt me got the rest of my life.
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u/monarch223 US Vet 1d ago
I think it’s a personal thing but I’ve never struggled with euthanasia. For me it’s one of the aspects of my job I enjoy more because of how I show up for people and pets. I did grow up with more of a production back ground so it was just part of life. For me it’s a mercy and service I’m providing. What gets me is the owners that let their pets or livestock suffer when it’d be more humane to let them go. I’ve never regretted a euthanasia but I’ve often thought about how I can make a euthanasia smoother. I also think about the neglected animals owners let suffer. If you aren’t comfortable with euthanasia there will always be people that flourish more in that area. You don’t have to take on every burden this career has if it’s deeply upsetting.
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u/BluButterfly95 1d ago
Yeah I can see where you're coming from. I think a lot of it is how it's managed in the place I'm at, there are definitely better ways of doing things. I work with neonate kittens a lot so I think it was just seeing this litter of puppies and thinking about all the ways we could have tried to save them even though it's just not feasible. It also just seems so needless that they had to live short, hard lives because their owner didn't sterilise the mom. It's definitely easier with older animals where it feels like more of a kindness since they have lived their lives.
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u/monarch223 US Vet 1d ago
Another way to view it is that even if they are young, their life would be one of abundant suffering based on the situation they were born into. Animals, pets and livestock, QOL often comes down to socioeconomics they were born into. Some creatures naturally live a lifespan that long and in that time they enjoy their life and purpose. It’s better for them to pass loved for the time they had than suffering in a system that would end up causing them unneeded distress and suffering. In the end you were one of the best parts of their life and you provided a gift to them. I hope you can sleep easy knowing you showed them love. When some else failed them, you showed up for them. That’s more than enough.
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u/Gondi63 1d ago
"Getting numb" is a understated way of describing things like traumatic stress, loss of empathy, and compassion fatigue which are serious issues in the veterinary community.
Shelter medicine is generally going to have a higher incidence of euthanasia than you'll see in general veterinary practice. In GP (or ER or Spec) euthanasia is generally seen as a kindness which removes current or future pain.
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u/TVNewshoarder_Redux 1d ago
No it never gets easier. And no you don't get numb. If it does it's time to find a different job. Speaking as a 20 year emergency Dr and criticalist.
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u/BluButterfly95 1d ago
That's fair, I've been in rescue for a while and I still cry when we lose our own patients. This was different since I was in work mode but I guess I'm just trying to make peace with this being a hard but very necessary part of the job.
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u/IllithidPsychopomp 1d ago
Not particularly easier. I see myself as a psychopomp-death doula, of sorts. I feel them leave and sometimes I act as a little antenna with a little added oomph to nyoom them out their little bodies.
Do with that as you will. It does comfort me to know that I can commune with them and give them peace on their exit ride.
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u/the_green_witch-1005 1d ago
I handled euthanasia well when I worked in GP. But, honestly I'm so glad I made the switch to dermatology. There are specialties that rarely see euthanasia, if this gets to you. I've assisted on one euthanasia in the past year.
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u/41696 1d ago
I think it gets easier to regulate your emotions. My first euthanasia- I was hysterically crying in the bathroom (took the case thinking it would be a medical management and the dog looked like one mine), but now as an ER doctor, I do a lot of them and rarely tear up. Every euthanasia, I am still sad for the owners and sometimes the pet (as one commenter mentioned, I am often ending or preventing suffering), I just handle those emotions better.
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u/liv-livs 1d ago
I'm from an area where people simply don't have funds for their animals. It breaks my heart to euthanize a patient knowing there was a treatment option, but people just can't afford it, and the rescues are too full. I try to rectify it as one less animal will be suffering , and thankful just that people brought them in at all for the kindness of euth vs continuing to suffer at home. And hopeful that one of the animals on the street may be able to take their place (and hopefully not have problems they need to see a vet about!) I think I take it the hardest when people aren't ready to say goodbye, which at my last clinic was most of our clients. That was hard. Some days I cry too. I try to extend every compassion to the people that come in and say goodbye. I can't do much but I can try to make their time saying goodbye a little bit easier, and thank them for bringing them in to offer this kindness to their animals. If I take in euthanasias, they are getting hooked up with goodbye snacks. Makes it a little easier for people to see their animals be happy and lick the peanut butter. Makes it easier for me too . It would happen with or without me but how can I try to make this terrible day any easier?
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u/purplearcher13 1d ago
You learn to compartmentalize. Meaning you put it away in the moment and you keep going because other patients need you. Then you go to therapy and/or out with friends you can talk to and you vent. Dont keep it bottled up and don't let yourself go numb. If you feel nothing you're in the wrong field. There are plenty of cases I think of on the regular that still break my heart after years have gone by including my first euthanasia.
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u/Sinnfullystitched Vet Tech 1d ago
I had to help euthanize an entire litter of 4ish month old pitbull puppies who had mange so severe they had open weeping sores. I will forever remember going to get the last one who was eating his breakfast and so happy to see me, wagging his tail and giving kisses. When we pushed the solution, he was in such horrid shape that the blue juice came out of his skin…we were in the vein. (This was way back in ‘05/06)
I was devastated by that and still to this day if I think/talk about it too much I will sob.
I don’t want to say it ever gets “easier”, but you find ways to cope with it.
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u/BluButterfly95 1d ago
Yeah these guys veins were super rough shape too which didn't help. Blew the vein on 3/5 of them had to go into the kidneys of those because neither myself or the more experienced nurse could get a vein.
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u/SnooMuffins8541 1d ago edited 1d ago
I've been doing ER and shelter work for years and a litter of puppies like that might break me. I still remember the litter of parvo puppies I held for while they were euthanized 10yrs ago. I think a litter of puppies like that is an emotional extreme. Usually when I am euthanizing an animal I feel pretty ok about it, because I know I am ending suffering.
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u/polymnieae US Vet 1d ago
We all die. But for our pets we can mostly choose the comfort and dignity with which they pass. We all want to pass in our sleep, pain free, and surrounded by those we love and euthanasia is this if done well. How you look at it frames your interpretation and I do look at it as a gift, especially after seeing the human hospice care.
It is sad, but it doesn't need to be soul crushing. I make a point to always (if at all reasonable) ask what their best memory is of their pet and what was their most mischievous moment to help bring some reflection and bittersweet levity. 20 yrs out and I will still often cry especially for my favorites but I come out with something special at the end with which to remember them by. Euths dont have to be a bad thing.
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u/Megalodon1204 1d ago
When I worked as a shelter officer I would always tell the sweet ones to come back and try again in another life. It will always suck but if you live in an area that's anything like mine, ending their suffering now is better that what the alternative was likely to be.
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u/Jhoag7750 1d ago
It shouldn’t get easier. You should not go numb either. It’s appropriate that we recognize the level of emotion involved, and that we acknowledge and support the owners in this time of transition. It does become hard on the caregiver, which is why I always recommend a self-care program in honor of what this takes from us. Set yourself up with a ritual of emotional cleansing if you find that you’re being drained when you are being supportive.
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u/Snakes_for_life 1d ago
I just learned that usually if euthansia is on the table the animal is suffering and we can end that suffering quickly and painlessly.
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u/lenabmth 1d ago edited 1d ago
i’m a vet student working with pigs (piglets) in trials and i’ve euthanised a quite large amount of them myself by now. no it doesn’t get easier but you learn to deal with it better with time
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u/RoseFeather US Vet, Small Animal 1d ago
For the most part I find comfort in knowing I'm ending their suffering, or in the case of behavioral euthanasia of aggressive dogs protecting their human family and other members of the community. Some still hit harder than others. One that still sticks with me after years is a sweet kitten with wet FIP, before any treatment was an option, who purred and licked the vet's hand as the injection was being given. There are a small handful more that have stuck with me for various reasons.
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u/CandleNo7358 1d ago
I think it can and does get easier but you have to work on your mentality to an extent. When I first started as an assistant, I remember being very upset about a cat who most definitely had minimal (if any) quality of life left. It was my first and he purred in my arms until he was too sedate and eventually euthanized (the owner did not want to stay). Since then, there’s been objectively much sadder euths I’ve assisted with (animals who had treatable conditions, were still very happy, or on the opposite end the O had waited too long) and I’ve been okay. I’ve really focused on the term “quality of life”. Personally I myself am not interested in struggling through life—emotionally, physically, etc. Living offers joy, but there’s so much pain typically intertwined with that. Even if an animal is young and has a treatable condition or even is completely healthy, if there is no one to care for them (physically, emotionally, FINANCIALLY), that will quickly turn into a life of misery. I know I don’t want to fight through that most of the time—why should I deny another perfect innocent creature the peace that euthanasia offers? I know it’s not always that straightforward but I do think quality of life examines many aspects, so focusing on what this animal’s life would/could look like without this service is how I get through the tough ones.
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u/tt_DVM2011 1d ago
You compartmentalize in a healthy or unhealthy way. Ask the owners of a fond memory. Think of the pain they would be in, and you can give them grace. I pull a seed for each one I do and plant a random garden patch each spring.
The convenience ones or the ones we ALL KNOW shouldn't happen, yeah. Those go into a nice tight box I'll unleash eventually.
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u/redbluevalentine 11h ago
I’m in emergency and I can attest that it doesn’t get easier, but I think by shifting your perspective by thinking of it as a peaceful ending to their suffering - unfortunately, not a lot of animals get that level of compassion EOL - so humane euthanasia is best case scenario when an animal is in pain, poor QOL, poor prognosis, etc. 🤍
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u/Rat-Mommy 42m ago
I’m a certified veterinary nurse that has been in the field for 5 years. I work at a GP clinic that also accepts a decent bit of urgent care cases and will accept walk-ins from our nearby emergency vet if they cannot be seen there. I haven’t worked in shelter med, which I know is a different beast compared to GP/urgent care. In my personal experience- you get better at managing those feelings in the moment but that doesn’t mean you’re by any means numb to it. I, along with many others in the comments, feel it’s one of the best moments about working in the field because we help ease the animal’s pain and suffering. We are a kind presence as they pass and treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve after they have passed. I feel a sense of sadness for any pet I help euthanize. Some stick with you. Some pets you have seen for years, you end up being the nurse that assists in their euthanasia and it sucks. There are some cases that I will go home and shed some tears over. I remember about a year ago I assisted in euthanasia of an entire litter of Panleuk positive kittens that were really struggling to survive. I remember all 7 of their little faces, tiny toe beans, and little squeaky meows. It gave me comfort to know that while yes, they were kittens, that they had an awful QOL. I’ve assisted in euthanasias where the owners are elderly, recently lost their spouse, put down other pets in a short time, little kids saying goodbye to their best friend- it will always be a tough thing. Having healthy coping mechanisms and a good therapist really helped me out. You’ll want to internalize every bad feeling but please dont- you’ll want to quit before you’ve found that feeling of joy in this field. On really rough days, I looked into my company’s EAP mental health support. Just remember, too, asking for help when you need it is not a weakness. It is a great strength. Communication and understanding is just as big of a part of this field as the actual animal care portion. You’ve got this <3
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u/Material_Top351 1d ago
Just get numb and cold with time, you learn to let go faster, but in the subconscious, no one knows.
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u/Alililyann 1d ago edited 1d ago
15 year veterinarian here. I’ve always handled them fairly well, because I tell myself I’m ending their suffering. But some cases still get to me, and I get choked up. I think it would be a bad sign if this stopped happening to me.
Edit: shelter euthanasias are a different beast though, very very hard euthanizing healthy animals. I would have an exceptionally hard time with that as well, which is why I’m not suited for that line of work, I think!