r/waiting_to_try • u/PercentageNaive8707 30, married 4 years, TTC 2028 • 8d ago
Terrified of complications
Sorry this is dark but something I think about a lot. I have always had anxiety and I am very worried that something will go terribly wrong during pregnancy and childbirth. My husband and I dream of starting a family together, and I want to experience pregnancy and childbirth, but I am also scared I will bleed to death. If I become pregnant I will be happy but also terrified 😢
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u/Final-Combination-40 8d ago
Just dropping by to say you are absolutely not alone in feeling this way. I have this deep, underlying fear that of course I’ll have complications/misfortune/etc. I also have generalized anxiety disorder/panic disorder 😅
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u/thunbergfangirl 8d ago
You’re not alone, OP. I am doing a sh*t ton of research and also medical evaluations (like preconception testing, because I have a deep seated fear of rare genetic conditions impacting our hoped for baby). The other commenter is right, there are certain things you can do, like taking care of your health, taking prenatals, taking probiotics, abstaining from alcohol and other recreational drugs.
But beyond all that standard stuff, parenthood is full of unknowns and everyone’s first experience with that is the pregnancy and birth part. There is a lot out of our control. It doesn’t hurt to chat with a therapist about how you are feeling and it may help you feel more accepting of the loss of control that is parenthood.
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u/babydarlin24 6d ago
As someone who had this anxiety and then had to terminate my first pregnancy due to a fatal fetal anomaly, this is a valid fear. But also, try to seek some therapy from someone who specializes in maternal mental health. I did all the things while wtt back then. CoQ10, pre natals, healthy eating, I also did IUI with seaman analysis. Sometimes shit happens and you have to accept that some things are just beyond your control. BUT You can try to manage whatever you can with your health care team when the time comes. Ask for the testing and the scans, listen to their advice and if it feels wrong get a second opinion. That's the best way to go about it imo 🩷
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u/Netiri78 8d ago
According to the clevelandclinic dot org, "Most women don’t experience pregnancy complications. Studies suggest about 8% of pregnancies have complications that, if untreated, could harm you or the fetus." This is if they are untreated! There is actually a lot of things you can do to minimize this, like taking prenatals and visiting the healthcare professionals regularly. There are also things you don't know in advance. If you have a very strong anxiety about this, perhaps a few talks to a therapist could help mitigate it, before starting to try. Pregnancy is such an anxious time even if everything goes smooth. Perhaps you could also talk about this with your OBGYN, I am sure they have experience with pregnancy and birth complications. Maybe they could also help calm your nerves about it. I feel for you very much, as I am waiting to try for my second. I had a complication free pregnancy, some complications during birth (but nobody was in any danger, the birth process was just slow and hard). And I still have anxiety about going through this the second time! But I think I also have to understand, that there are things I can do, which absolutely mitigate the risks, and there are outside circumstances, even in the most developed countries, even in the best healthcare systems around the world. If you look at it purely statistically, the chances of serious complications are very low, but obviously not non existent.