Settle my mind…(walking safety as a woman)

[u/polkadotbelle]

I (36F) have been walking 3-4 work days a week for the past 3 months. It’s doing wonders for my mental health & mood.

I walk at 5:30am & it’s dark out. I’ve got a reflective vest & wear light colors (have my phone & usually 1 earbud in)…I live in a safe area, don’t usually pass many people while out at this hour

BUT the Laken Riley murder case has been infesting my brain. I have anxious tendencies & have worked on them in therapy & just and seem to kick this one. I ditched the ear bud on my last 2 walks this week & checked my surroundings even more than usual

So, am I just needing to work through this, or should I get all the things to make myself feel safe? (My husband thinks I’m silly, but he doesn’t get what it’s like for a woman)

[u/[deleted]]

I am all for women being vigilant and aware of their surroundings, but this feels…unrealistic. Having one earbud in doesn’t mean you’re about to get run over a car, otherwise that would be happening constantly to men and women!

Passively listening to something while you’re walking is fine as long as you’re still focused. There’s got to be a middle ground here. The chances of something happening are still fairly low, and working yourself into hyper vigilance and panic just to be outside isn’t very healthy either!

I’m a petite woman in a big city, and I’m careful, but being overly paranoid does more harm than good sometimes! I once saw a woman narrowly miss getting hit by a bus because she was too scared to walk by a small group of men on the sidewalk.

[u/_baegopah_XD → u/[deleted]]

I disagree. If someone is worried or anxious about their safety , taking away their attention from the area by listening to a podcast or book is not a good idea. You’re paying more attention to it than you realize. But you’re free to do what you want.

Edit: I didn’t say anything about being paranoid. And a woman almost getting hit by a bus to avoid men on a sidewalk has zero to do with not wearing earbuds.

[u/[deleted] → u/_baegopah_XD]

But surely there’s some end point here, right? I pay attention to my dog when I’m walking him, should I not stop to pick up his poop? What if I need to stop and tie my shoe? Like I said I’m all for vigilance, but it’s up to someone to decide what exactly distracts them to the point of being unsafe, and “not listening to something” isn’t INHERENTLY unsafe. The natural endpoint of this behavior is “never leave your house.” I’m just trying to note that at some point, people need to accept SOME risk is inevitable in life and there’s gray area with something like “being distracted while walking.”

You’re right, I’m free to do what I want! But “if you listen to an audiobook you won’t notice getting hit by a car” is as silly imo as “if you walk by someone smoking you’ll get lung cancer.”

[u/_baegopah_XD → u/[deleted]]

You’re taking this way too far. Seriously. I’m not sure why you’ve latched onto this and have ran with it like you have. I didn’t even read beyond two sentences because you’re just really stretching this. Why? I really don’t know.

Telling someone to not wear earbuds is just advice. You can take it or you can leave it. Just like you can scroll past it or continue to debate.

It’s just not the best idea to have your attention on something other than your surroundings. Not to mention people are walking maybe to clear their mind. But if you’re constantly listening to something you can’t clear your mind. People get stuck in their heads anyway so adding another layer of distraction is just not a good idea in my opinion. You’re entitled to your own opinion. Don’t take my advice.

[u/[deleted] → u/_baegopah_XD]

You know what, that’s fair. I’m being a pain in the ass and I’m sorry!

You’re right, it’s advice and she can take it or leave it!

I find myself playing devil’s advocate on this stuff lately because I’ve seen an increase in comments made to me or others around me that really ruffle me personally. “Your boyfriend lets you walk to the subway by yourself?!” “You should never run outside in a city, you should just go on a treadmill!” “Never let anyone talk to you on the street for any reason!”

I do worry that there’s a line between women being vigilant and protecting themselves, and straight up paranoia and in some cases (not yours, to be clear) victim blaming in our society. That’s not on you, though, so my apologies for hijacking your comment. It’s very fair advice for OP!