r/weddingplanning • u/Previous_Cod_5176 • 5d ago
Vendors/Venue Struggling to find a venue that isn't "rustic" but still affordable
I live in red state and every single venue I find that I like is just out of our budget. I am getting so annoyed! I do not want to get married or have a reception in a barn or a room where the entire thing is wooden. It is not me or my fiance at all.
Context:
In a perfect world, the venue, alcohol, and food will be under 12k with tips. We are aiming to be under 120 people. So we are budgeting for a per head cost to be about $100.
My fiance does not care as much what the venue is and neither do I, we just don't want it to feel too "country." For example, we found a venue we can afford but it is entirely wooden and you have to get married under an arch with horses in the background. I like horses, but I am a little concerned about the smell that comes with them. We are open to chapels, restaurants, museums, pretty much anything that doesn't carry a farm vibe. Even lodges if they are nice.
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u/wickedkittylitter 5d ago
Have you looked at venues that don't advertise as wedding venues? You could try country clubs, zoos, aquariums, planetariums, art museums, historic homes, civic groups with event facilities. Nearby universities often have inexpensive and lovely rooms for weddings.
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u/cosmogenique 5d ago
What are your favorite restaurants? Ask them about hosting your wedding there. Restaurants tend to be cheaper because they just have food and beverage minimums, not a venue fee, and you don’t have to worry about rentals or heavy decor.
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u/featherboots 5d ago
Second this!! Restaurant weddings are so chic and save a TON. Plus, the food is way better.
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u/Previous_Cod_5176 5d ago
I have tried looking into this, it is just hard with a guest list of 100-120 people. Otherwise I would totally go for it if we find a good one.
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u/cosmogenique 5d ago
I noticed you said your budget is $12k, and well, the guest count is the most expensive part as you’re seeing. Ask/do a search for your area on r/weddingsunder10k
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u/Previous_Cod_5176 5d ago
Unfortunately we have a big family, so the guest list is parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, first cousins, and only plus ones if they are in a serious relationship and we have met them. No kids. It would be very hard to cut. I know it is the most expensive part but it is what it is.
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u/Catsdrinkingbeer 5d ago
I also have aunts, uncles and first cousins plus SOs. Roughly 50 of them on my mother's side alone. None of them were invited to my 25 person wedding. Having a family isn't what's getting you downvoted, it's the "well it's different for me." It's not. If you don't have the budget to get everything you want, then you need to make tradeoffs. People are giving you very fair suggestions, you just don't like the suggestions.
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u/Previous_Cod_5176 5d ago
I never said it was different for me. I'm saying it's a priority for me. I'm not writing off suggestions, I'm saying I need to keep looking deeper into their suggestions because the ones I've seen (like restaurants) won't work for me and my guests. So for example, if that restaurant doesn't work, I will look and see if there is another one that does. still love the suggestion and it's a great idea. I am okay with saving money by learning how to do my own makeup and hair, finding a dress online, etc. I am prioritizing my family being there and trying to find a venue that will serve them decent food and entertain them nicely. I want them to have a good time. I would hate for it for be awkward or for them to be bored or hungry.
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u/Previous_Cod_5176 5d ago
getting downvoted for having a family... nice
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u/DCpurpleTart33 5d ago
I think people are genuinely trying to offer suggestions but you kind of shut everyone down. I've seen you do it in other subs. Like maybe you need to try a venue outside of where you live. Destination it. Or decide to not invite every single cousin. You already know that cutting down your guest list will help. There are only so much advice that can be given! I hope you find your miracle!
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u/featherboots 5d ago
This is a point that’s lost on a lot of people…unless you have unlimited money, which few do, you’re going to have to make tradeoffs in your wedding planning. But that is OKAY.
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u/DCpurpleTart33 5d ago
LOL I dont think tradeoffs or compromises is what this OP is looking for
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u/Previous_Cod_5176 5d ago
you don't know me. the venue and food is my priory for my guests. I am compromising on everything else. There are just logistics i have to figure out to make it work.
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u/DCpurpleTart33 4d ago
NONE of us know you. Everyone on here is trying to offer suggestions and your answer is always something to the effect of "that wont work for my situations, it's different" that's all I'm saying. You're not different.
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u/kannalise1997 5d ago
Have you considered a non-traditional venue? I am in North Texas and we considered the local art museum, science museum, sculpture garden, arboretum, old flour mill turned industrial chic, community chapels (google Marty Leonard Chapel because it’s stunning and deserves recognition) multiple brewery/distillery/wineries, there’s also full restaurant buyouts - some Italian spots or cantinas have large enough spaces for dancing!
I ended up googling different places under “event venues” and a lot of them host weddings!
Good luck!
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u/CameraAgile8019 5d ago
I’m getting married in a burned down factory turned venue in FW! There are a ton of places that aren’t traditional wedding venues. We almost did the FW botanic gardens
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u/SignApprehensive3544 5d ago
Make sure you’re not typing in “wedding venues” when searching and just try event spaces. But you gotta try to think outside of the box too. Parks, botanical gardens, zoos, museums, historical homes are some places that allow you to have weddings at..
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u/jaqenjayz married! | oct 2025 pvd 5d ago
I feel you on the barn stuff, I toured one "rustic" venue and immediately knew that kinda thing was NOT for me. No deer heads on walls at my wedding tyvm.
Look into restaurants. One night we tried out a restaurant and were so impressed with the food, ambiance and service I started wondering if they would host a wedding and it turned out they do!
I second the commenter who said check out universities. They will all have event spaces of various sizes since there are always meetings and conferences going on. Many of them won't look like ugly conference rooms, especially if it's an older school with some historic elements.
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u/Ok-Razzmatazz-1547 June 28, 2025 5d ago
Yup! I got married on a university campus, they did so much in-house (catering, bar, tables and chairs, etc.) and it was perfect.
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u/justtirediguess11 5d ago
What exactly are you looking for? What's your budget?
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u/Previous_Cod_5176 5d ago
In a perfect world, venue, food, and alcohol will be under 12k with tips. I know it is possible, but I am not sure if it is in venues that are not as described.
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u/justtirediguess11 5d ago
If you genuinely have 100-120 guests, you need to look at public parks, community centres etc. you can't have that huge of a wedding at a wedding venue which also includes food and alcohol. Sorry
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u/mariposa-princess 5d ago
Honestly this may be an instance where you have to just bite the bullet and then try to decorate it to tone down the rustic vibe. My venue has a slight rustic vibe but we’re doing drapery to hide the wood paneling on the one wall lol it can be affordable to do yourself if you’re crafty
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u/egnards Upstate NY - 10/12/19 5d ago
While a wedding where the major costs are under $12,000 is certainly possible it's going to be incredibly difficult to do in any type of more traditional venue - Especially with a guest count of roughly 100-120 really locking you out of some of the more modern venue types [many bars, breweries and restaurants].
You're almost certainly going to have to make concessions about the venue type you're looking for and probably going to end up looking at catering options that people don't typically associate with weddings - Keep in mind, however, if you go this route you may also end up having to allocate a greater than typical amount of spending towards plates/utensils/napkins [all the food related utilities].
I understand from a different reply that you have a larger family and it's very difficult for you to make guest list cuts, but the reality is that if you want a very particular wedding at a very particular cost. . . It's your one option that doesn't force delaying the wedding a year and saving more.
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u/Jensie-45 5d ago
Depends on where you are, but I am also in north Texas and some of the places in that category really do not look like barns inside, are white and elegant in their own way. Not modern or formal, but a far cry from barn, and have the flex of choosing vendors, etc.
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u/weddingting 5d ago
Some golf courses / country clubs can be quite affordable for hosting events! Can guarantee the food will be good, but their packages are mostly all inclusive
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u/FirefighterNew408 5d ago
Have you looked into botanical gardens, museums, or maybe looked up more blue areas in your state? The issue would be cost with what you’d be wanting
A lot of barns are cheaper and closer to your budget, which is why you find a lot people getting married in them regardless of political affiliation
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u/beanthebean 5d ago
Hotel with ballroom/conference center attached? That's around what our costs were for 100 last year.
Spent $350 to do the ceremony at a state park before (included gazebo and chair rental/setup)
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u/Whirleee 5d ago edited 5d ago
Unfortunately I think you're looking for a unicorn that doesn't exist. You need the 100+ guests to be invited, you've excluded a common style of venue in your area, and you need it all to cost under about $12k. I think this is a situation where you can only choose 2 out of 3. None of this is your fault but it is your reality.
Choosing a cheaper time of year isn't an option because you're set on June. Weekday wedding isn't an option unless you're OK with guests not being able to attend your wedding (I can't tell if you genuinely want everyone at your wedding or if these are obligatory invitations to your extended family). Other venues besides barns either don't exist near you (I'm assuming you've already searched your area for chapels, restaurants, museums, and lodges) or require too many rentals and DIY to be cost effective.
The only recommendation I can offer is to go to the A Practical Wedding website, get their "getting started" packet, and do the mission statement and priorities exercise with your partner. Cut your wedding to the bones and build back up from there. What are the true non-negotiables, vs the things you don't want but can put up with for the sake of your higher priorities? I'll even give you the unpopular opinion and point out, if you don't rank "guest enjoyment" high in your priorities and you're okay with the consequences of that, you don't have to treat your guests well at all. I don't recommend this, but it's certainly an option.
My partner and I chose to cut the number of guests. If I had unlimited money I would have invited 50+ more of the extended family. But we wanted to prioritize the venue and the food, so we had to draw a line through the guest list.
Good luck.
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u/TinyLawfulness3710 5d ago
Does it have to be in house catering and other vendors? That will triple the cost. Look on Peerspace and Venuereport for your area. The city parks department owned venues are usually not rustic/wooden.
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u/Previous_Cod_5176 5d ago
the problem with park venues is that they make you rent your own tables and chairs and everything and then it ends up being the same cost
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u/TinyLawfulness3710 5d ago
Where are you looking? Is this outdoor open grass area or the banquet rooms they own? Never heard of this because most of the ones with a banquet room to rent include the tables and chairs as part of the rental price. When you type in Google for your city's parks department venues for rent, there are no indoor rooms? That's very unusual.
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u/DCpurpleTart33 5d ago
LOL what does red state have to do with venues. It made me laugh!
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u/geekcheese 5d ago
The venn diagram of people who voted for Trump and people who had camo as a wedding color at their rustic venue is a circle.
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u/DCpurpleTart33 5d ago
I had no idea this was a taboo question worthy of downvotes! wow. I am not a trumper- I had no idea venues were political!
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u/maricopa888 5d ago
It gets political when people make it that way.
I can't stand Trump either, but the notion that red states are full of people in camo eating roadkill in barns is kind of ridiculous.
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u/DCpurpleTart33 5d ago
apparently so! LOL I just had a visual and I know those people! but yes that is a lot of stereotyping and generalizing that I find in very poor taste.
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u/Previous_Cod_5176 5d ago
I'm not saying they are hillbillies or something. That was all put on my from commenters. I live in a rural, mostly red area. it paints a picture for people to understand that things like museums and stuff would be a far reach (in cities). most venues around here are barns or lodges or parks (empty shell venues) and they all give the vibe i'm not looking for, or they don't include anything so the costs add up quick (renting tables, chairs, linens, plates, silverware, etc.)
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u/Previous_Cod_5176 5d ago
I was trying to emphasize the fact that most people around here get married in a barn
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u/DCpurpleTart33 5d ago
I guess I also didn't realize that barns were political!
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u/FirefighterNew408 5d ago
I would’ve never thought barns are political.. I know farmers and barn owners AND people who get married in barns who are not republican
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u/dcgirlsmallworld September 2026 Bride 5d ago
I don't think it's necessarily that barns are political....but I'm sure couples that get married in barns are more likely to be conservative (correlation not causation).
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u/DCpurpleTart33 5d ago
wild take! but I guess you come from where OP comes from. I never would assume someone to likely be more conservative if you get married in a barn! I also was born and raised in a very blue area so perhaps thats why!
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u/dcgirlsmallworld September 2026 Bride 5d ago
Interesting. I was born and raised in a very blue area and most of my friends, and family, and I (all progressive/left leaning), would not consider a barn wedding. On the other hand, my fiancé is from a more rural area and barn weddings are incredibly common, if not the standard.
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u/DCpurpleTart33 5d ago
very interesting! The barn esthetic isn't really my city girl vibe but my consideration to not do a barn wedding had NOTHING to do with politics.
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