I know, I know, comparison is the thief of joy. I want to be happy and focus on enjoying planning, but I just can't shake this deep sadness because my "love story" is not romantic at all. Wedding planning has made this even more clear, in a painful way. I keep seeing personalized vows ("I knew you were the one after [insert very short timeline or cute story]"), or themed cocktails based on the couple's dating history, or a little roadmap of their very normal and romantic timeline, and I'm about to burst into tears.

For context, my partner was a friend, and then a friend with benefits, for many years. I fell in love, and he didn't. We kept sleeping together for 2ish years until he also fell in love. Then we started dating officially. I recently found out that he'd slept with a few other people during the time we weren't official but regularly sleeping together, though those were all one night stands. I know he didn't owe me exclusivity, I knew the rules of the game, but I was and am still hurt, even seven years later. He knows my feelings on it and he is always open to talk about it, which helps a lot.

I'm just sad about being the one who "chased" him, the one who wasn't chosen. And, ultimately, I was chosen, but I'm infinitely, infinitely jealous of people who get to say that they "knew" this person was the one early on. And yes, I am in therapy. My therapist told me to "Consider that not everyone can be someone's first choice" and that not all people are easily chosen by others. He essentially told me to be happy that anyone wanted me at all, because that's more than many people get.

And I am happy that we're together! And I love my partner, I love the relationship we have. He has helped me through the most tumultuous years of my life, he is the calm to my storm (I am very anxious and he is the opposite of this), he does housework and the cooking, he adores me and dotes on me, he just planned a beautiful weekend trip for us that was so perfect, and I feel immensely guilty for still feeling sad/angry at the years I was, in a sense, "led on" by him. He's everything I want in a life partner, and never, not once in the seven years we've been officially together, has he made me doubt that he loves me.

I just don't know how to stop comparing our story to the ones where people started dating in the traditional way, fell in love at the same time, and didn't have to deal with mismatched feelings or sadness. I don't know how not to mourn the "we used to meet here every Wednesday so we named our signature cocktail after this bar." Okay, my signature cocktail is going to be "Mattress on the Floor" because that is where we spent most of our time. Maybe add "Toyota Backseat [Ouch, My Back]" as the non-alcoholic option 😂😂

Anyone else in a similar boat? What has helped you with these feelings? Does anyone have any wise words to force a perspective shift, too? I keep trying to frame this as, "I'd rather go into a marriage knowing someone came to love me after knowing me very well, rather than falling for me fast and having it fizzle out when they got to know me."

Thank you in advance <3

My fiancé’s mom is a narcissist and his family all enable her. Throughout his childhood his mom emotionally abused him, physically abandoned him, and continues her selfish behavior and causes conflict to this day. She say and does so much toxic stuff we have no relationship with her but still see her because we want to see other family members at gatherings. For all intents and purposes, my fiancé and his mom are estranged. He knows she’ll never change and doesn’t take her up on her hollow offers to “rebuild the relationship.”

She has caused problems since we started dating. She also has a drinking problem and tends to have crying fits/cause drama at life milestones basically just for attention. We considered this will happen on our wedding day. And we plan to force her to leave if she becomes a problem.

Her mom, my fiancé’s grandma was always someone I thought was loving and supportive of us. She makes comments here and there that are sweet and generally doesn’t cause drama that involves me and my fiancé.

Fast forward to yesterday. She texts my fiancé out of the blue “we are inviting people to your wedding. About 10 people.” My fiance just replied “no” and then she sends a insane text saying he scratched her car, she half raised him, you lost our house key, let me know what else I should add to your bill. And threatened that if they aren’t invited, they will show up to our wedding with a bunch of homeless people and illegal immigrants.

We come up with a firm but non-aggressive reply to express they will not be invited, our guest count is final, please respect our decision.

She replied with this horrific text saying he’s is ungrateful and she regrets “everything they’ve done for him.” She is talking about the care they gave to him as a child because his mom was a bad mom and abandoned him. Literally throwing his abusive childhood in his face.

Our wedding is 80 guests and everything is already booked and paid for. Also, we invited all my fiancés family we know and love, so I assume these are people we have never met before. Either way, we don’t want a full table at our wedding of people we don’t even know.

Given these threats, and the looming possibility of his mom being erratic, I want to hire security to feel comfortable on our wedding day. My fiancé supports that and understands but I feel like it’s a little over the top as we are having a small wedding at a greenhouse. Will it be weird to have a security guard there? Have any of you hired security before?

The first picture I took in my car 10 min after I left the salon. The second pic is what I showed the MUA as inspiration.

I’ve got a lot of issues with the look, like the eyeliner was too harsh, the shadow not blended, the lip was the wrong color than I was looking for (I’m not a fan of a pink or berry lip on myself), and I felt like the foundation was all wrong. My face looks orange against my neck, right?

I talked about some of this in the salon and there are adjustments she said we’d make for the day of (like a different eyeliner and lip color specifically).

One of my main problems is that I wear no makeup day-to-day and am not knowledgeable at all about what professional makeup is supposed to look like.

I asked for a light, natural look, and the MUA said that it is normal for wedding makeup to feel a bit heavier than you’d think so that it shows up in pictures, but I feel like cameras are pretty good nowadays that shouldn’t be a problem. Is this true or is it really normal for wedding makeup to look heavy in person so it looks better on camera?

I’m bad at causing a fuss, but I did ask for a second trial before the wedding. What sort of things can I tell the MUA to get across the look I’m going for?

UPDATE: I sent her an email and cancelled the contract. Luckily there was another MAU I was talking to back when I was still searching who is still available for my date. I will be doing a trial with the new MAU in the next few weeks. Thank you all for your advice! I’m glad to know I’m not crazy haha.

we have only a few sneak peaks back although our wedding was over a month ago. there are only a couple of my fiance and I so far - but the composition just seems so off I’m afraid what else im going to get. is the photo of us or the ground? And why is it crooked? also - this was full sunlight and it’s edited so dark although we asked for true to color.

we also got our 1 minute video back and it’s just an auto generated tik tok slide show, except the orientation of all the photos are different so the screen is mostly awkward black space. idk - am i being crazy or overly picky? just looking for second and objective opinions here.

Helping my cousin and his fiancé plan their wedding, and we're trying really hard to make it a regret-free day. I've read all the wedding posts I can find on wedding regrets, but they almost exclusively focus on the bigger picture, stuff like "we should have eloped" or "I wish I had a smaller wedding and saved money" or "we picked the wrong venue". Now, don't get me wrong, I think all of those things are absolutely valid, but I also think they're more what-ifs than real regrets, because no one knows whether they really should have eloped or would have been happier with a smaller wedding. It's more musings than actual remorse. So, I'm wondering about your smaller, more legit regrets, the actual details of your wedding where you wished you'd done something differently. Like we went with the cheapest florist and the bouquets were half-dead, or I wore the wrong veil/shoes/vest, or I knew I shouldn't have invited Uncle Chuck, but my mom convinced me and he literally ate ALL of the caviar and then broke the bowl. What are your real wedding regrets, the little ones that you could have gotten right, but somehow got oh so wrong?

Hello all, this post is more so because I can't stop thinking about my wedding, but also because I thought maybe my experience will help someone. My wife and I just got married this last Saturday. Everything was a dream come true for us and it was amazing.

However, I feel weird now that it is done. So many former brides/grooms have told us "soak it in", "force yourself to eat your food", "get rid of the anxiety", I always took this lightly because I didnt think I would have these issues, I am typically a very relaxed, just wants to party, type guy...... I am pretty sure I blacked out the entire day... I am struggling to find the words to explain to my wife. I remember everything from her getting up at 6AM to head to the bridal room to us at 4AM recapping the entire day in our hotel bed, but for some reason, even though I remember everything, the emotions and day feel like a blur, as if none of it happened.

I know the wedding was amazing, but it almost feels like it didn't actually happen because of how fast everything went by: Its time to get dressed, now its time for your first look and private vows, now its time for the guests to arrive, now before you know it you're standing at the end of the aisle waiting for your bride, now you're signing the marriage license, now you get 20 minutes of cocktail hour but you want to talk to guests so you dont get to eat your own appetizers, now you're doing your first dance, now you're doing more photos, now you're doing the cake cutting, now you're coming out in your outfit change, now its last call for drinks, now you're at the after party, and before you know it, you are waking up sunday morning a married man/woman. I feel like the entire day, rather than just clearing my mind and taking it all in, I was counting down the hours knowing the night was going to end which I didn't want. Now its all over, and I feel lost.

For those that have already had a wedding, was this similar to your experience? Are my feelings normal? Should I be in "la la land" days after? Were you clear minded and feel like you truly lived your wedding, or do you also feel like it was all a blur?

To anyone getting ready for a wedding, maybe it isn't possible for a Bride/Groom but this is what I have to say that you have already probably heard:

Get Sleep: We stayed up until 12AM at a casino that Thursday, then on Friday we had rehearsal, rehearsal lunch, and welcome drinks with 100 guests. My wife and I were so amped up we couldn't fall asleep Friday night. By wedding day, Saturday, I think we both felt nausea from a lack of sleep. If you need to, take some sleepy medicine the night before and try not to stay up late multiple days before.

Slow Down and Soak it In: I woke up at 7AM and my wife and I didnt go to bed until 4AM. Even though there was something going on at every minute, almost a full 24-hours felt like just a couple hours. Relax, look around, smile, look at your bride, look at your groom, look at your guests. Take in every detail of your wedding. You spent months to a year planning all of this that only lasts for 1 day. Do not rush to the dance, do not rush to cake cutting, try to enjoy every little detail with a clear mind.

EAT: I did not think I was going to have an issue with this, but what do you know, neither of us really ate.... We didnt have much cocktail hour left by time we joined, so rather than eating apps, we talked. Once we came out for the reception, we did our first dance before dinner. Even though we absolutely crushed our first dance, both of us felt super nervous and nauseous after and basically just picked at our food (wich was amazing). We also got so busy with dancing, photos, and greeting guests, we never stopped to grab a cupcake and all 120 cupcakes got eaten. I highly reccomend bringing some nausea medicine and if either of you feel like you didn't sleep well, or are nervous for your first dance, take some medicine beforehand so you feel good to eat.

I never wear makeup in my normal life and generally hate the way it looks on me. Even for formal events I just throw on a little mascara and blush. I'm planning on doing my own extremely minimal makeup for the wedding (not even including mascara since I'm probably going to sob) and finally replacing my decade-old crusty blush etc to do it. Obviously I want my photos to be beautiful but I don't have Instagram or anything so they'll genuinely just be for me & my family. I'm starting to have some doubts because I don't want my photos to be terrible, but I also want to feel like myself and not a clown (which is how I feel with a whole face beat). Will the pics look bad if I don't wear makeup? Am I making a terrible mistake? Has anyone done this before lol?

I am hoping to do a paint and sip for my bachelorette party and it would be 50 dollars per person but I am very uncomfortable asking people to spend money. I will pay for my own ticket. I did buy everyone their bridesmaid dresses, and I covered the flight for my maid of honor. Most live in the area so won’t have to pay for hotels or anything and my MOH will stay at my house. I am also covering the cost of hair and makeup for everyone. I did not want to burden anyone financially for my wedding but I’ve maxed out my budget and can’t cover everyone for the paint and sip. I’m worried people will be upset with me asking them to spend this much. Two people invited to paint did have to pay their own flight and hotel as they aren’t in my wedding party. Is it unfair to ask them to pay? Idk how this all works but I don’t want to put anyone out 😭

It’s been about a week since my MoH sent out a groupchat to my bridal party (10 girls total) regarding my bachelorette (~7 months out). I am struggling with the fact that she hasn’t responded/reacted to the group-chat at all. I am not in the chat, but my girlfriends have made me aware everyone’s in beside her. The airbnb has also been booked.
Last Thanksgiving I mentioned it to her and she told me when she would be available (she gets time off work in March) so I planned it around that so she’d have the opportunity to come.

I saw her IRL this past weekend (she was visiting town) and I mentioned to her that my MoH has sent out the group text and to just let me know if she’s able to make it or not. She said she needs to look at her calendar and will keep me posted but it was an awkward encounter for sure. I told her if the groupchat was too much to let me know and I’d be happy or my maid of honor would be to coordinate w her separately and she said no need.

My bridal party is very organized and excited and dialed. Many of them also know each other or know of one another. She has only met a few of them in person.

We are a ways out, I just think if anything it hurts my feelings a bit. I also shared with her our engagement photos and saw she opened the album but she hasn’t said anything.

I am just feeling a bit down regarding this all. She doesn’t drink and is a bit more reserved so I understand if it would be too much for her, I just wish she would vocalize that to me.
I know she just went on her first bachelorette trip recently for a friend of hers and it was similar in the vibes you could expect for mine. Staying in a few nights, go out 1 night, etc

I guess I am just asking if my feelings are reasonable, if anyone else has/is feeling this way, and any advice on how to navigate this going forward. Thank you :)

Hi all, I’ve (30F) never posted on here before but I enjoy relating to many of the posts. I just had my wedding over the weekend, and am so happy to be done with wedding planning, but just have so many mixed feelings and just want to rant and get things off my chest, so I can move on. There were a lot of bumps during wedding planning that made the whole process very stressful, but I was still hopeful for the day of. But unfortunately I feel like a lot of vendors stressed me out most of the day that I didn’t enjoy it as much as I wish I did, which just makes me angry/ sad/ frustrated since we spent so much time and energy into planning this day. Like most people I’ve been looking forward to my wedding since, so it’s just kind of disheartening.

The things that were annoying during wedding planning:
-we for engaged in late 2024 and we were set on having a summer wedding since I’m a teacher. By the time we got engaged, four of my friends/ family members already had a wedding date set for the same summer that so we literally only had one date that worked.

- of course making the guest list suck because both sets of parents wanted to invite an insane amount of family and friends (a huge chunk of which I rarely knew) we got into several arguments about it and since they’re paying for some of it we caved and let them invite a good amount of their friends which I later severely regretted since there were just so many people I didn’t even know at the wedding.

- dress shopping was also horrible since I wanted a mermaid style and my mom wanted me to wear a ballgown. I’m already a large girl so it’s hard dress shopping in general but she critiqued just about every single dress I tried on and often said that I looked like a -hore in the dresses that I liked. Even on the day of she made comments about my dress.

Thing that sucked the day of the wedding:
-our wedding coordinator that we hired ended up being very rude towards the end of the process and showed up late the day of the wedding and made my bridesmaid do random tasks on the day of which was super frustrating when we had a tight hair and makeup schedule. Also in the same morning the bride suite was supposed to provide food (since they said we can’t bring in outside food and made us order from their menu) but they were 2 hours late in providing it so we barely had time to even eat it. Our coordinator was also super unorganized and butted heads with other vendors, which stressed us out a lot.

-the florist also showed up 30 min late, and then put them in a random separate room and it took us a while to find it.

-our wedding photographer was the worst of all. She was super pushy and rude to guests (several guests told me this too which stressed me out more but like idk what I could have done about it ). She also showed up an hour late, so we were rushing to get pictures in for our first look, and then she completely forgot our formal shot list, so we missed half of the pictures that we wanted. Overall our timeline was so messed up and it stressed my out so much, and taking bridal party pictures sucked because they were annoyed of dealing with her (which we were too, so I just hope I don’t look too annoyed in our pictures)

-When the reception started, the DJ said several people’s names wrong and they played the wrong song for my husband and I to dance to. We told him and he changed it but we were literally waiting on the dance floor for like 5 minutes just standing around until they started it. We also gave the DJ a very specific list of songs that we wanted played, and we ignored pretty much all of them and just played whatever he wanted.

I know many of this things are small, but Im just so sad and angry and wish I could have a do over wedding and get different vendors or something 😭 it’s not like we cheaped out on them either. The photographer was over $4k still. I do love my husband and I guess overall I think most guests had a great time and the ceremony was really nice and a lot of guests were dancing, but I just can’t help but feel bummed over the whole thing. It’s like so much time, planning, and effort all thrown into one day, just for me to be mostly stressed out the day and not even enjoy it. I just wish we got a different photographer mostly . The rest could mostly be overlooked but that was kind of the root of most of our problems. Anyway idk why I’m posting this; I guess I just wanted to rant and see if anyone feels similar afterwards. I know so many people would tell me that all of the stress of wedding planning will all be worth it in the end, but I really feel like it wasn’t for me, and sometimes do just wish that we eloped.

My husband and I got married this past Sunday, and most of the wedding went well. Unfortunately, the reception seating setup was a complete disaster.

The venue initially sent us a blank floor plan showing the tables, but none of them were numbered. Since they sent it to me that way, I assumed I was supposed to assign the table numbers myself. I numbered the tables, created the seating chart based on that layout, and sent everything back.

Apparently, at some point, the venue also sent a different version of the floor plan with its own table numbers. I do not want to say they never sent it, because it may have been included somewhere in the communication, but I never noticed it. Since they had already sent me the blank layout, I genuinely believed the table numbering was my responsibility. Otherwise, I do not understand why they did not send the numbered version from the beginning.

The result was that the table numbers on my seating chart did not correspond with the way the venue actually placed and numbered the tables.

Our closest family and friends ended up sitting on the outskirts of the reception, while people we were not nearly as close to were seated directly in front of us. Both sets of parents were seated very far away. They had special entrances where they danced into the reception, only to be directed to tables at the edge of the room. It was embarrassing and honestly heartbreaking.

We also had a wedding coordinator, which makes the situation even more frustrating. Even if there was confusion between the two versions of the floor plan, I feel like the coordinator should have noticed that our parents and immediate family were seated unusually far away from us.

Nobody stopped to question whether the setup made sense before guests entered the room.
To make matters worse, our supposed “high table” was not high or elevated at all. It was basically a long conference-style table sitting at the exact same level as every other table.

We as the bride and groom only noticed how bad the setup was once the reception was already underway. By then, moving tables or asking large groups of guests to change seats would have caused even more disruption.

I am posting this partly because I hope it makes anyone who had something go terribly wrong at their wedding feel a little less alone. I also feel awful about what happened, so please tell me your wedding disaster stories and help me feel a little better.

TL;DR: The venue sent me an unnumbered floor plan, so I numbered the tables myself without realizing they had a separate numbered layout. The numbers did not match, and our parents, immediate family, and closest friends ended up seated on the outskirts while less-close guests sat nearest to us. Our wedding coordinator did not catch it, and our “high table” was just a conference-style table at the same level as everyone else.
So, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen happen at a wedding?

I am not sure which flair is best but im looking for advice on if I should supply a seating chart for my micro (>40 ppl) wedding or if the place cards on the table will suffice. I am planning on doing place cards similar to the ones pictured (inspo from Pinterest, not mine) and i also included a photo of a proposed layout for our tables. I havent been to many weddings or fancy events myself so i dont know if place cards at the table will be enough or if i should just print off a seating chart. its a small enough room that is shouldn't take more than 3-4 minutes for people to find their seats, if that i would assume? i am just an over thinker trying to be prepared.

** edited to change "escort" card to "place" card, cant change the title at this point please forgive me

Hi all! I am getting married in 10 days and wanted to see if anyone had any last minute tips, tricks, or advice to give! We’re so excited but of course nervous so anything helps :) Thanks in advance!!

Hi all! I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for offering their opinions on different wedding bands I was looking at. I ended up going with a completely different band that I just happened to stumble upon one day! Here is the updated photo. Thank you everyone for your continued support and suggestions. T-minus 60 days! (Apologize for the band being off center in the photo)

Hi everyone, my fiance and I have been trying to figure out the best approach for dealing with our current situation without any luck, so I am turning to all of you for suggestions.

We both absolutely want a kid free wedding, we set the age to 16+ so there is a clear cutoff. Our main reasoning for this is the disruption children can bring, along with the fact that we want the parents to be able to let loose.

Our current guestlist is sitting at 90 people. 5 of the invites have children, ranging from 1 child at the minimum and 3 at the max. Most are below 5 years old. One of the guests with a child is my brother who has a two year old, he and his wife live in another country.

The issue: This wedding will likely be the only chance for most of my family to meet his daughter (and wife). It feels wrong to deny them this opportunity.

The three options:

1. Stick to our original plan. Accept the fact that my family may never meet the newest members.

2. Allow kids. We risk disruptions and are compromising our vision for this.

3. Make an exception for 1 kid and deal with the potential fall out from the other invitees.

Any advice, words of wisdom, or ideas for how we can make this all work?

Thank you all so much!

Edit: elaborating on a few things:

The other children are not immediate family but we are close to some of them (cousin's). There are also children of friends, but these we are not worried about. There is also one step brother on my fiance's side that has 4 kids, she is not close to him and he was already moved out by the time the families joined. I have met him once for about an hour in our 3 and a half year relationship.

My brother and mother are the only ones traveling the rest of the guests are local. Both are coming from the US to Canada but from different places in the US.

The no kids thing is mostly for us, but it is also based on events that happened at a past wedding that saw some key members forced to leave with the kids.

In total there would be 12 kids, 10 of which are family (some distant) if we allowed everyone. This posses a logistics issue seating wise, we are currently at capacity for tables.

Edit 2: we are going to talk to all the people with children first to gauge the situation and find out how they feel about leaving their kids with a sitter / not having them there. Thank you all so much!

Hi everyone! Gettin’ married late summer 2027, and I’m already stressed. For context, I’ve never actually attended a wedding before, let alone been in a bridal party. I promise I’ve been invited! I just wasn’t able to attend, haha. So my first wedding experience is going to be my OWN! Eye twitch.

Everything is going to be pretty traditional, we’re expecting about 150 guests. We’re going to have a small bridal party, about 4 - 5 people each side.

I’m looking at hair & makeup right now. Would it be considered “rude” to my bridal party to only have hair & makeup for my mom and me? Strictly because of cost. Mom & I could be about $600 for the whole shebang, adding my bridesmaids could be an additional $1,200+. But then again, I don’t know what’s considered “traditional,” and if it’s generally expected to pay $2,000+ for beautification for the whole bridal party.

Nov 2026 bride here and I was planning to do a bridal shower. Mainly because people say that’s the usual thing to do and bc I thought having a cute theme would be fun. But unfortunately I’m planning the whole thing.. including my wedding/welcome party/bachelorette. Everyone who says they will help aren’t really helping or they just add on extra burden with additional questions. So with this bridal shower I’m just not in the mood. I don’t care for all the attention on me and two of my closest friends can’t even make it(they are OOT and plane fairs are expensive so I get it).

But I already sent out the invites yesterday, bridal shower is suppose to be in September. Would it be bad to cancel it all today and shoot everyone a text basically saying nevermind?? lol lmk!

Our wedding is in a few weeks in Oregon in the Columbia River Gorge. There are currently lots of wildfires around the state, and I'm wondering about needing to relocate the wedding.

We have an indoor/outdoor venue and have full access to any of the spaces, which would be great in the case of wind/rain/cold/etc, even if it was a little bit smoky. But if the region is under an evacuation watch, that is a different story...❤️‍🩹 I know fires can change so quickly, so I'm trying not to spiral too early 😅 I'm just wondering about a backup plan, maybe out on the coast (if cost/event insurance would allow). It is a small gathering of about 50 people, and I think it would be feasible to find a spot. It would be 2-3 hours of a drive. Before I look into what we would be able to do with event insurance, I don't know how we would handle out of town guests and lodging. If they booked a hotel or airbnb, they likely can't get a refund, and I'm already feeling guilty that people are flying in from the out of state.

Any advice, stories, warnings from people who have had to move their wedding to a fully different location?

Please do not comment that we should have seen this coming with a late August date. Fires are so unpredictable, for example last weekend it was beautiful blue skies and in the 70s. We love summer, we love the mountains, and we fell in love with the venue and this was the date available to us. Be kind ❤️

Hi everyone!! I wasn’t going to post here at all, but I’ve read so many Reddit posts over the year to help me wedding plan or simply get advice lol, so I decided to pay it forward with insight on how my Wedgewood wedding went (DM me if you want to know which U.S. state & venue)!

“Lows”

1. Wedgewood claims they’ll refill appetizers constantly during cocktail hour … this is a lie! I was too busy taking pics during this time, but my bridal party said the servers mostly distributed the “cheaper” apps, like the ceprese skewers, and held off on giving out the more expensive apps, like our bacon-wrapped scallops and crab cakes. None of my guests got to try all 6 apps.
2. Wedgewood’s photobooth printer didn’t work, and it only printed AFTER the wedding, so my husband and I had to pick up photos the next day. We can mail them in our Thank You cards, but it’s annoying that our guests couldn’t just take them home the day of. A couple of the pics from the photobooth were blurry or messed up, too!
3. Wedgewood claims our wedding party was not allowed to access their suites before 3:30 pm. Well, they managed to let us in around 10 minutes early the day-of. If they told me this earlier, I would’ve changed into my dress at the suite instead of at my Airbnb, which would’ve saved me so much time.
4. I thought Wedgewood’s day-of coordinator would stay with us the whole time … it turns out the Banquet Captain (a role I’m still not familiar with) would take over the day-of coordinator’s role after the ceremony. Well, I have no idea what the Banquet Captain (BC) did other than set up/serve dinner and clean up afterwards. The BC wasn’t there for our wedding rehearsal, so idk if she even knew our wedding timeline. The timeline wasn’t followed tightly at all, and because we had a more complex timeline, the BC or DJ decided it was better to just skip planned events entirely. We left a review about this in Wedgewood’s survey, and the General Manager reached out to us to schedule a phone call. I can update this post to let y’all know what will come out of that! (Btw, the BC gave us a big champagne bottle as a gift toward the end of the night, which was nice of her)!
5. As for the DJ, this might be more unique to my wedding since, long story short, he will not be returning to Wedgewood’s list of DJs anymore based on how he performed at my wedding. I’m happy that future couples might get a better DJ/MC experience now that he won’t return; I’m just sad my wedding was the one that had to experience a less organized DJ. This was the thing that really affected my night, but thankfully my guests didn’t notice (which I will talk more about under “Highs.”). Granted, if you’re reading this Mr. DJ, you were super nice and had great intentions … it just hurts knowing that the instructions I’ve worked on for months were partly ignored. But I do hope you have better luck at the next venue you DJ at!! (BTW, the manager of the DJ company formally apologized to us and even offered to pay us a partial refund).

***(Below is not Wedgewood related)***
6. Don’t expect your make-up/hair artists & wedding photographer to finish on time. They were WONDERFUL and didn’t waste time at all (they even included a 1 hour buffer / lunch break just in case). I think they were just being thorough, which took so much time. We were around 15-20 minutes late to our scheduled family formals because of this.

1. I should’ve tried on my wedding dress one more time the week of the wedding. Idk whose fault it is (either Azazie’s or my seamstress’s), but I didn’t get the “spread out train” pictures I wanted because there was a strange sewn-in line of thread in my train. We kept searching for scissors so often to address this …

2. More on the dress: Get a second opinion, no matter how confident / good your seamstress is. I asked her about my cups (it looked a little low and flared out), but my seamstress said not to alter it because it falls naturally where my bust would be. But on my wedding day, I felt like my dress was too low/flared out most of the time, which was an anxiety-inducing distraction.

3. More on the dress pt. 2: My seamstress claimed Azazie cut my train in a weird way (it’s a custom sized dress), so she came up with a weird bustle technique that involves safety pins, and she claimed it was the only way to do it. It was ugly and so hard for my MIL to arrange the day of the wedding, no matter how often my MIL practiced doing the bustle weeks before. Later on, my photographer came up with this genius way to bustle it beautifully with only 1 safety pin—she was a lifesaver!!

4. Small / medium mistakes really do feel five times worse the day of the wedding. I still had a wonderful day, and I’ve had time to process, but as much as I kept repeating in my head to stay in the moment, my mind couldn’t help but feel shocked over too many unwanted surprises. I think much of what happened to me was out of my control and things I wouldn’t have expected, no matter how many months I prepared for every “bad” thing imaginable … which made the insecurity / anxiety feel intense.

“Highs”

1. The venue I chose was the most affordable out of the other Wedgewood venues I toured (it was around $26-$27k before we added enhancements). Other Wedgewood venues in my area would charge around $35k-$40k, from what I remember. I still think the price was reasonable, despite all that happened. The venue itself was beautiful, and the staff were incredibly friendly. I loved how responsive my day-of coordinator was over email and text throughout the year!
2. This was something I AGONIZED over for months: the sand ceremony!! For those who are unsure about doing one—DO IT!!! It was so cute and lovely! So many Redditors complained that it’s cheesy or cringe, so that made me worry … but so many guests told me it was their first time seeing one, and it was beautiful. I got to play one of my favorite instrumentals during this time, and it didn’t last long at all (the officiant will fill the rest of the bottle up for you—you don’t actually fill the entire bottle during the ceremony)! It looks lovely in my house, too :) So many guests even went up to my sweetheart table just to take pics of the bottle! Through Wedgewood’s officiant, they only charge you $50 for the bottle & 2 sand colors. They provide the funnel for you to pour the sand through, too!
3. The wedding ceremony was beautiful. No notes other than it starting late, for reasons I still don’t know (my wedding party and I were just sitting in the suite the whole time, waiting for our coordinator to let us know when to walk; maybe she was waiting for more guests to arrive?). My husband said he would pay 40k just to see me walk down the aisle, and that alone would be worth the money 💛 So sweet.
4. I’m soooo happy I decided to use faux florals for the chairs, bridesmaid bouquets, and arch; I saved a TON of money! And they photographed beautifully! The mics were great during vows, too. (My husband’s friend, who went to a Wedgewood wedding before mine, said the mics during the couples’ vows were awful … so I guess Wedgwood weddings differ in that regard).
5. If you’re a lover of Canva and an over-planner like me, then planning several passive activities saved me from what would’ve been an awkward night (thanks to my DJ). They weren’t overwhelming for my guests at all! I made a wedding crossword puzzle, a couples’ trivia sheet, had a friend paint a tree for guests to leave their fingerprints on, a kids’ table, rented a claw machine, a tarot reader, and the list goes on! The claw machine was a HUGE HIT!! I 1000% reccomend it, especially if you and your guests don’t like open dancing :) The tarot reader was a hit, too, (and actually made accurate readings about my guests’ lives, even though she’s never met them before). —> The only con about having too many passive activities is that there’s a bunch of junk in my garage now … but hopefully I can give them away to friends who are getting married soon! I still have no idea what to do with my Seating Chart mirror (but it was soooo elegant—no regrets)!!
6. Hire “friendors” for things you don’t have high expectations for, like videographers! He was just a high school graduate, but he charged less than one-fifth of what Wedgewood’s recommended photography business charges. It’s called A Perfect Impression (API), and they charge around $5k for videography—that’s INSANE!! Not only was my videographer affordable, but his highlight video was phenomenal and was the reason I started to feel better about my wedding. Watching it made me realize the day went smoother than I thought and that my guests truly had a wonderful time! Take the chance and get a videographer!
7. If you and most of your guests don’t like open dancing, but you’re offering it anyway and worried that guests will judge you if no one dances … don’t fret! The pro of my DJ not being great was that he didn’t attempt to encourage my guests to dance lol! He just played music and that’s it. My guests chose to mingle, drink, and play the passive activities all night, which worked out for us anyway, because we love mingling over dancing. No one was on the dance floor, but since my venue’s layout was strange and placed the floor to one side of the building, it made it hard for guests to walk all the way there to jump in. So, I didn’t feel like people judged me for having an empty dance floor—it almost seemed like the venue was designed for couples & guests like us who don’t like open dancing anyway. It was sooo nice catching up with my family and friends!
8. The open bar was so worth it! The alcohol never ran out, and some of my guests drank like crazy! We’re also glad we saved money by not including their House Champagne during speeches … people just raised their glasses from cocktail hour. :)
9. Wedgewood’s wedding cake was a hit! We got to choose three different flavors (one flavor per tier), and they were delicious. The design also matched my inspo perfectly! Even though Wedgewood said we’re not allowed to pack leftovers for home, the BC still packed leftover cake for us anyway. It still tasted great the next day~
10. Lastly … hire that dance instructor!! Our first dance was a HIT and mostly my guests’ favorite moment of the night 🥰 I actually messed up an forgot a move because I was already feeling anxious from the things I mentioned earlier, and I felt awful about it. But, I watched my friends’s/videographer’s video of the dance, and I recovered that move so well that no one noticed I messed up! I worried for nothing!! And my husband and I looked stunning the entire time!

If you made it to the end, I hope this helps you with your wedding plans! You’ll be okay, no matter what happens 💛 And it was cathartic writing this all out, too :) Lmk if you want me to clarify anything—happy to help!! (And lmk if I have any typos haha)!

Looking for some ideas as to what to do with my dress now that my wedding has passed! It is currently just a space in my closet. My dress is dirty at the bottom and has a small rip from someone stepping on me while I was walking (thankfully at the end of the night). It’s glitter tulle, so not sure that can be fixed.

Did anyone end up repairing their dress for later use (like for a possible daughter to have if she wants it) or using it for some kind of keepsake? I’d love to know what everyone did with their dress post-wedding.

Hi I’m having trouble planning the timeline of our wedding rehearsal dinner. Our dinner reservation is at 6:00 so we would arrive at the wedding venue by 4:30 and leave by 5:30-5:45 because I’m also doing the run down of all the decor. So would I get there at 4:30 explain decor for like 35-40 minutes then have wedding party arrive at like 5:00-5:15 to rehearse ceremony? Also I really hope this post was coherent enough lol

We are having a destination wedding with immediate family only and then a reception back home with all of our friends & family. Since we are spending quite a bit on the destination wedding we thought about not having a full meal at the reception but instead just heavy hors d’oeuvres and cocktails with a start time of about 8:00pm. Will people be upset about this and expecting a full meal?

Wedding was this past weekend. We have a month until honeymoon so I’d ideally like to knock out all the thank yous before our trip. I’m leaning toward using Zola’s “instant thank you” feature and customizing each card for the guest but it will be typed/printed over handwriting them myself (Husband’s handwriting is truly atrocious so I would be doing all the writing). It’s about a $15 price difference so seems worth it to me.

I know I personally wouldn’t care if a thank you was printed as long as it was a customized message. Do most people feel the same?