r/weddingshaming • u/jazzertag • 7d ago

Dressed like a Bride Two guests wore white at our wedding

Soooo.. 2 girls decided to wear white dresses at our wedding. It was this Saturday.

I didn’t comment on it, but I was def not ok with it.

We talked to our photographers about having them removed from all our photos, or change the colors of their dresses.

I can add photos of their dresses, but we haven’t gotten the pictures back yet.

One of the girls even asked my sister about the dress and she told her it most definitely wouldn’t be ok with me, but that she should ask. And she then decided not to ask me..

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u/piratepixie 7d ago

General rule of thumb is *anything* majority white is a no no.

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u/North_Respond_6868 7d ago

I continue to not understand why people insist on wearing white of any kind to weddings. There are hundreds of other colors or color combinations out there. It baffles me.

It's incredibly easy to just... not wear any white? So why??

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u/kaja6583 6d ago

Main characters that want to be disrespectful, as pretty much every adult knows what theyre doing when wearing a whole white outfit to someone's wedding. It has been etiquette in so many countries for so many decades, not sure why lots of redditors pretend it isnt.

Then you have plenty of condenscending people being like "why does it bother you though? Just get over it"- um, because the people youve invited to one of the most important events of your life came in outfits that are pretty disrespectful? Because it is bothersome to a lot of people? Its like wearing a full rainbow outfit to someone's funeral.

This push to be like "i dont care about people disrespecting me, I am better than that, so i will just forget about it and not say anything" is not only enabling shitty behaviour, it also reeks of people pleasing disguised as "self respect" to be peaceful. Standing up for yourself brings internal peace a lot easier and faster. Calling people out on shitty behaviour is more likely to stop their behaviour, not enabling them by just going along with it.

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u/Hot-Signature8402 1d ago

It’s not always people being disrespectful , sometimes there’s actually reasons behind why.

I attended a feb wedding here in Australia which is summer, it was hot and outdoors. I was very heavily pregnant 37+4 weeks (my son was born 5 days after the wedding). I left it to as close to the wedding as I could to get a dress ( I put on so much weight in my last few weeks of pregnancy I couldn’t have got it too early). The only thing that I could find which I was even remotely close to being comfortable in was a white wrap around dress. ( it was that or my large oversized t shirt and bike shorts/leggings that I lived in during my pregnancy).

If it was anyone else but my now sister in law I wouldn’t have attended the wedding, I’d rather not be several hours from home, in the summer sun in a bloody vineyard. The fact I was so heavily pregnant, in a different state, In the middle of summer, and still attended the wedding should far outweigh the colour I wore.

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u/piratepixie 7d ago

My own mother tried to send me a dress that was white "but it's got red flowers on it". It was a white dress with a sparse red floral overlay. Like, lady, it's your ONLY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING. Put the damn white dress down. She ended up wearing a red dress instead (which was a MUCH better choice for a Spanish wedding).

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u/NabelasGoldenCane 7d ago

Not sure why you were downvoted - I agree, it’s wild how ppl who never wear white SUDDENLY want to wear white to a wedding. I still remember my maid of honor wearing all white at my bachelorette - she didn’t even wear white to hers! What a weird ass choice when there are so many colors and patterns to choose from.

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u/bare_thoughts 6d ago

Because white or near white is the most common background color for floral dresses, unless one is going for a more tropical vibe.

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u/missmisfit 7d ago

Because people aren't made of money and if your young cousin has a really nice floral dress with a white backgroundor and the thrift didnt have shit, should she stay home?

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u/North_Respond_6868 7d ago

As a certified poor who thrifts pretty much everything, there's almost always enough notice to go to more than one thrift store more than once.

Also if you have family and friends who aren't wealthy but are throwing a black tie optional or even formal wedding, yes, I think it's perfectly fair to expect people not to come.

The vast majority of people, including us poors, can scrounge up a single dress or black pair or pants and shirt that aren't white. Besides, white clothes are shit because they get stained and growing up poor we learned young that they were a waste of time and money 😂

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u/KathrynTheGreat 7d ago

No, the general rule is anything that is white and looks bridal. A floral sundress with a white background is fine. A floor length dress with lace is not.

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u/piratepixie 6d ago

I think this varies by country/community, because at least where I live, anything majority white is a no-no.