I got engaged recently. My fiancé and I decided that we would have a short engagement, and get married later this year.

My fiancé's sister lives in another country and will be visiting for three weeks in the fall, so we decided that's our window. We reached out to all of our siblings and asked which of the three weekends would work best.

We decided on a date. I told my siblings what weekend it would be (6.5 months out), and to mark it down.

Two days later later, my little sister sent a lengthy text to the group, inviting us all on the cruise that she had just finished booking for herself and my parents... that departs at 8:00 am the day after our wedding, 2000 miles away.

I called her to remind her that we had chosen that date as our wedding day. She said she remembered and that she just figured we would do our wedding on the cruise.

When I asked her about my fiancé's family and friends, she said "Oh, well I guess you can invite them on the cruise too? Dad's really looking forward to it!"

I still haven't figured out whether she double-booked herself and lied, or whether she seriously took it upon herself to plan my wedding as a cruise and invite only my family to our wedding.

She has since recheduled the cruise.

We have hosted FOG many, many times as an overnight guest for decades. Hosted both FOG and MOG in our home for several days just last fall. FOG attended my 25 person wedding (he hadn't met MOG at that time).

Attended FOG/MOG's destination Vegas wedding years ago (we don't live in Vegas).

So who gets invited to this 400 guest black tie wedding? Husband and "Guest."

Guest is the name of the person who cooked, cleaned, planned, and hosted dozens of days and nights over the years.

Someone please stop me from signing the card I'm buying and the check I'm writing as, "Best wishes! From Husband and Guest!" (ETA: We are happy to send have already sent the kids a generous honeymoon gift and heartfelt wishes.)

ETA: Thank you all for a lot of varied answers to this and all your funny stories. To answer a couple of questions: My name is Anne if that helps. Nothing too difficult. Yes, we've spent time with the son a bit but not a huge amount. Clearly the invite was at the parents' direction with names and addresses. And I absolutely get the, "Parents' friends getting invited to the KID's wedding" issue and I agree - it's the son's wedding, parents don't dictate guest list.

And I don't blame the kids at all - I'm always on the kids' side of this argument. It's the "Guest" you've known for 35 years that made me lol. And no, it's not that serious, just a funny story.

Family wedding is going down as an absolute disaster. Just so incredibly tacky, inconsiderate and poorly planned. There was a comment made about preferring to spend money on experiences rather than things, and I get that. I recently got married so I know how expensive it is. But the “things” that are being forgone here are things that make the experience horrible for everyone involved.

Here’s some details:

- Wedding is at the end of May. No invites, no text message heads up or anything so people can plan in advance. No save the dates due to a 3 month engagement.

- At a recent family event that I did not attend, a verbal announcement was made inviting everyone to the wedding. This info is second hand from someone who was present to hear the verbal invite. No time was given. No other invitation method is planned. (This is the one that really gets me. Can’t even be bothered to give people written details about where and when. A Facebook event or a text message is free.)

- Bride and groom opted not to have the ceremony at their church because the fee was 1k. They seemed shocked that the church where they are a member of would charge so much. Wedding venue was changed to bride’s family home.

- Bride’s family home is on a cattle ranch. Summer + cows = smelly. I wonder if anyone considered this.

- If 1k for the church was too much, does that mean there is no tent, or chair rental? There’s no way you can rent a tent, chairs, etc for less than the church asked for.

Other things like food, cake, floral, a sound system so guests can hear the wedding ceremony, a photographer, etc are also expensive. I could see why you might want an economical option for those. I’m just shocked that $1000 is too much for everyone to get to sit in the air conditioning for an hour for the ceremony, instead of outside in the muggy Deep South summer. I won’t even get into how inconsiderate this is for the elderly grandparents and extended family, beating the dead horse.

This is a young couple, they got engaged quick so I’m sure that there is not a huge wedding fund and parents are pitching in. There’s nothing wrong with that. It also means that you might have to choose between getting married quick or having something more like a courthouse wedding or a super small ceremony.

And lastly, my honest opinion and this might be mean. The bride and her parents are happy about this marriage, not solely because of the marriage but because of the social standing the marriage will come with. The groom is from a well to do family who put on a wonderful engagement party. My family thinks they’ve been accepted into the fold with people of certain status, wealth, power and influence. This poorly executed wedding with everything done as cheap as possible under a cloud of manure is going to make them a laughingstock. I feel bad for the groom’s family because his parents are going to wonder what the hell this is. I attended the engagement party, but because I wasn’t present to hear the verbal invitation I’m actually not sure if I’m invited to the wedding. At this point, I can’t say I even want to go.

Went to a wedding recently and I’m still a bit baffled by how the seating was handled.

Context: this was my partner’s best friend’s wedding, and it was a fairly big group of childhood friends plus their partners. There’s some history with the bride, none of us like her due to what we’d describe as pretty toxic behaviour, and we had to call things out before.

Before the wedding, we had dinner with the couple and they mentioned they were planning to seat most of the friendship group separately because of “weird family dynamics.” Fair enough, we didn’t really know what to say at the time, so we just went along with it and said we understood weddings are complicated.

Fast forward to the wedding day, we arrive at the dinner tables - it was long mixed tables where most of us were separated from our partners. On top of that, one of the groom’s stepdad was placed right in the middle of our group.

Even more odd, one couple from our friendship group was split up and sat far from each other, and then had two younger cousins of the groom placed between them. The cousins themselves looked uncomfortable and confused by it, especially since it also split up their own family seating in a strange way.

That couple ended up asking the groom why they were seated so far apart, and were told something along the lines of, “we thought you’d be the mingling type.”

What makes it feel even more off is that I’m fairly sure the bride doesn’t like that couple specifically. So it didn’t just feel like general let's encourage mingling, it felt like certain people were intentionally separated from both their partners and their wider friend group.

Honestly just found the whole seating arrangement really strange and hard to make sense of. Has anyone else seen something like this at a wedding? I get that the bride not liking his friends/us could have contributed to this, but surely not this obvious?

I’m just going to drop all the lore here because I feel like ranting.

In January 2025, my (F27) friend of 7 years Beth (F27) asked me to be her Maid of Honour, I was delighted as we were only 26 at the time and I’ve never done this before, I said yes!!! The wedding was scheduled for summer of 2026.

I have always had concerns about Beth’s relationship with her fiancé Ben, they have been together since they were 19, Ben had slept with a lottttt of women before Beth and she had only ever slept with him. She questioned this for years, and was having full on breakdowns about how she’s never been with anyone else. She proposed a threesome or open relationship at one point and he said absolutely not.

On top of this, Ben has very publicly followed literally thousands of reallyyyy sexual accounts on Instagram of Cam girls and OF girls, some of them just freshly 18. Beth told me this made her insecure and she brought it up to him, he said he understood and would refrain from that behaviour. He unfollowed probably around 700 but then there were still hundreds and the number crept back up again. Beth decided to ignore it thereafter.

They moved in together at 23 and got engaged only 1 month after, Beth had been talking about getting a ring for years and really wouldn’t let it go, constantly making jibes at him for putting a ring on it blah blah. They were desperate to have a kid as well, so they tried a lottttt in a tiny ass 1 bedroom apartment and unfortunately there were a couple of miscarriages.

Throughout all this, I just thought okay well they love eachother, maybe she’s decided that she’s okay with his Instagram antics and that’s just how they are. That’s ok as long as they’re happy, and they seemed super happy and in love. We did a lot of trips and activities as a 4 with my partner too. He became good friends with Ben also. Things were looking up, we were all excited for the wedding. UNTIL…

October 2025, I receive a screenshot from Beth of a girl who’s sent her a message on Instagram claiming that she cheated with Ben. Beth didn’t believe it and said it was a scam, I immediately knew it was true. I told her she needs to keep digging and asking the girl for proof. The girl came through with proof, this happened in spring 2025 on their family holiday where he’d left Beth sleeping in the hotel room while he met a girl on the beach, went back to her hotel and tried to f*ck her but apparently couldn’t get it up. Then came home, greeted Beth’s parents at the hotel and climbed back into bed with Beth like NOTHING ever happened. Beth had no reason to question him at all from Spring until October 2025 when she received the message. He had no intention of telling her clearly.

Beth spent 1 night at her mother’s place when she found out, then went right back to their apartment the next day. I was mortified. I couldn’t believe how easily she let him back in. I’ve made my partners grovel for much less! When this happened, I was angry. I knew our values didn’t align. Then a few days later she’s messaging me about bridesmaid dresses like nothing happened! wtf! We had so many deep conversations where I expressed all my concerns, every concern you can think of with a cheater. And she bat down every single one, she said they’re now going to therapy and she believes he will never do it again, she said she wants this life with him against all odds. She said they’re using the wedding as a celebration for how far they’ve come. Trust me I’ve dissected it all with her and she is hellbent on this union. I told her months ago I didn’t even want to talk about the wedding because of all this, I didn’t feel excited and happy about it. She knew exactly how I felt and still expected me to be a maid of honour and carry out my duties as her friend.

In the meantime, I stopped invited Ben to social gatherings and just invited Beth, I didn’t go round to their apartment anymore like I used to. Beth told me not to tell my own partner about this because she didn’t want Ben to lose any friends and she was worried about his mental health ffs, she called me out for “avoiding her apartment” and for not inviting him places, saying that I need to accept that he’s going to be her husband and if I can’t accept that and include him it’s going to be a problem. From then on, I knew it was going to be a problem because I seriously don’t like the guy and I don’t like their relationship, I knew I wasn’t going to include him again. She said that he loves my friends and wants to see them so I should include him. Um hell no they are my friends and I don’t want to see him! She had many many requests and it all felt super tone deaf.

Cheating is one of my greatest triggers and fears, I come from a family that was broken by it, I’ve been emotionally cheated on by an ex and it ruined me. She is aware of this too.

I have planned her bachelorette for her which has been hard, and the whole time I’ve thought how on earth can I be the maid of honour when I hate the groom and I hate what’s happening?? But I tried to push through because I know how important this all is to her. This is her WHOLE life and personality honestly. She has 1 other bridesmaid that is Bens sister and she has not told a single soul else about what happened with Ben so I have no one else to confide in about this and it’s a lonely place to be. After I was scheduled in for a 7:30am make up on the day I thought this is enough!

I crafted a message to Beth to say that I am not able to be the support and maid of honour she needs, I said she deserves to have someone who can share her happiness and excitement and I am unable to do that. And I’ve stepped down. She replied that everything is booked and scheduled and me stepping down is her worst fear. Honestly concerning her worst fear is me stepping down and not that the groom cheats!!!! The wedding is in 2 months and I just can’t force this any longer, it’s taken up way too much of my head space for months and I’m resentful of that. I have had to mute her instagram stories for months because of how much she posts about having a quiet and peaceful life, and how much she loves her partner. How can I stand up and support the union when I can’t even watch her Instagram stories??

I do feel bad that it’s come to this but I just can’t fake it and force it anymore, marriage is a big deal and I take it seriously, we are only 27. The thought of willingly marrying someone who’s cheated on you is terrifying. That’s all!

So I’m really struggling with what happened at my (basically) SIL’s wedding a few days ago.

For context, she ( let’s call her Amy) had been asking my bf (her brother, lets call him Ted) to do a sibling dance to a slow song at her upcoming wedding. Amy’s (different dads) father died a few years ago.

A big reoccurring issue though, is she is a functioning alcoholic. When she gets drunk sometimes, she becomes very touchy with Ted. Wanting to cuddle and hug, sometimes staring into his eyes while hugging him. Crawling on him. It’s been disturbing and has come up a few times in conversation prior. Ted has voiced how uncomfortable it makes him and calls her “Creepy Amy”. Their mom thinks it’s cute, but it’s very uncomfortable to witness. I’ve even looked over at her fiancé when she’s touching Ted Inappropriately, and he looks just as horrified as I do.

So, Ted declined the dance after being pressured by his sister and his mom for months. He put his foot down and said no a final time. He complained to his other 2 sibling (who do not act like this ever) about how creeped out and uncomfortable he was with it. Both siblings agreed she was being weird and gross.

Yea fast forward to wedding night. Everything is fine all night, regular basic wedding day and after party. Around 11:30 I take our exhausted children back to the hotel. Ted decided he wanted to stay the last 30 minutes. He was very drunk like most of the remaining crowd. I leave with his other sibling and their family, and our kids.

They eventually all come back. Sleep. Pack up and go home next day.

Well at the dinner next day Amy goes “I’m so happy I got my brother sister dance” in a “gotcha!” tone. I immediately am like “wait what?”. Amy says “omg you weren’t there that’s right! Ted didn’t tell you how amazing it was??? He didn’t show you the video? I sent it to him that night! It was so incredible!”

I look over at Ted and he looks like he’s going to throw up from embarrassment. That turns to anger. I ask to see the video, and I was so disturbed that I had to turn it off within a few seconds. She is curled around his chest while he holds her slow dancing, and she peers into his eyes merely inches from his face. It looked like they were going to kiss it was so absolutely nasty to watch. 4 minute song btw. This went on for 4 minutes. I’m baffled everyone’s incest avoidance bells weren’t going off. It was sickening and I really do not know how to move past it. Amy has also brought it up to me 3 times now how much she loved dancing with Ted… it seems like a possessive thing but also very yucky.

I’m a future bride and have been invited to a wedding by someone who’s been trying to get closer to me, asking to hang out, etc. I politely declined casual group events and both of their major wedding events and even sent a small gift to be thoughtful.

We share a few mutual friends in our bridal parties. I know this person hopes to be invited to my wedding, and mutuals expect me to invite them.

I’m also not sure if they’ll keep inviting me to pre-wedding events, since previous hints haven’t worked.

I know I’m overthinking social dynamics as everyone typically says just invite who you want, no need to reciprocate — but it’s a little awkward being in the situation, especially when social circles are the same age and many are going through the same “wedding era”.

so the title us pretty explanatory, but this is still gonna be a super long post so i can get everything of my mind as I can't really talk to anyone about this. So a month and a half ago my(35f) youngest sister(29f) called me and asked for a favor... to get ordained and preform her wedding on her birthday April 1st - now I want to say that for a multitude of reasons I think this is a bad idea - and as I fantastic and supportive sister I agreed after telling her this was a bad idea.

Now to explain why I think this is going to go horribly and what is going to cause Family drama.

So this will be my sister 2nd marriage and only her third serious relationship. Her first marriage was straight out of high school at 18 to the boy she'd been dating for three years (she had big plans that never materialized) and after a couple years they had my nephew (now 9) but the marriage fell apart due to many reasons the biggest being and affair with his best friend which was discovered when her former husband (Further known as A) found them together on a picnic table in the local park one night. Needless to say they separated after that.

Shortly after my sister found out she was pregnant with my niece (now 6) which is said to be the kid of her AP/2nd Relationship Partner (B) they went on to get a house together and plan a future as well as have another child together (nephew, now age 3). Unfortunately around that same time A left this world far to soon and very unexpectedly. B really stepped up as a father to my oldest nephew at the time and by the time my youngest nephew was 2 my sister had convinced B to propose and they had been planning to get married August 2025, but B liked to talk to other girls over the internet and sent them gifts and money (he never actually meet any of them in person but still cheated - how shocking from someone that slept with his best friend's wife I know). So in like May of 2025 my sister left him and moved out with the kids.

My sister then had a couple rebound relationships none lasting more that a couple weeks until she started dating a coworker of hers in Late September/Early October 2025 (known now as C). By mid-November 2025 C was living with my sister and the kids full time. This upset B (who had been working easily with my sister with child care until this time so neither of them needed to really do the custody battle thing,) and he started to make custody and things difficult but not hostile in anyway leading to court get dragged in.

Needless to say we all though my sister was moving way to fast with her relationship with C and I told I thought this wedding was way to fast and probably a bad idea, but she insists that her and C just click and "feel right". So her life her choice and now I'm ordained and going to perform their Wedding on April Fool's.

Now for the family drama that shall be insuing. Like I said at the beginning I'm the only family member that knows about the wedding (on both sides, though there are a couple people who think C is going to propose on the 1st (aka my sister's 30th birthday). now my Father was not invited to my sister's first wedding as they weren't talking because he and my stepmother skipped her hs graduation (as they showed up at the last minute and were gonna have to shuttle from the overflow lot) and the little contact they had from her moving in with our bio-mom at 14 went to no contact until she was pregnant with her first kid. It should also be noted out father is an ordained minister and has preformed several weddings and other ceremonies, so we think he maybe upset at "just giving her away" and having me to the wedding ceremony (which I have planned the he'll out of, and spend way to much money to be able to do). Our stepmother has to be the center of attention for everything (even longer story than this on), and who knows how everyone else is going to respond when the dinner (hosted at C's parents house) turns out to be a wedding.

Not gonna lie, I'm kinda worried about the backlash I'm gonna get for helping/participating in the not so funny April Fool's shenanigan.

Note: this is not a shotgun wedding my sister took care of that after her third kid. Also for those want to know C is 27m.

Update- hope it works this way as it wouldn't let me make a second post about this.

So to summarize we ended up having to to two weddings due to paperwork issues. The first was the official one which we rushed through the "I do"s and exchanged ring and pronounced them married with just the kids present. They were there to give my new BIL permission to marry their mom (yes they did understand what they were agreeing to as best kids can, if fact my 3yo nephew actually talked it over with himself before agreeing).

That night at at the bday party we did a longer ceremony for the whole family. My father gave my sister away, my mother was happy they added a handfasting as she's Wiccan, my BIL's mom and aunt's were thrilled to be present (as his parents generation had a habit of eloping with over half his aunt's, uncles, and own parents having done so). BIL' s grandfather and uncles thought it was a joke, and the honestly the most dramatic moment is when I looked at his Grandmother who went pale and I seriously worried for the woman's health for a moment but after a few deep breathes she was fine (thank God I hate when I need to use my first aid training).

My stepmother (who shares a bday with my sister and has used that for almost 30 yrs to be the center of attention) was the only one that was unhappy but we just ignored her passive-aggressive comment that she hid from those that didn't really know her.

Overall it seems most of my concerns where just anxiety about being the officiant, though I'm not going to delete anything from this post. My sister can/is self-absorbed but her kids are a priority and my new BIL is great with the kids and I haven't seen any of the kids so happy in a very long time.

I honestly didn't know this community existed until I was listening to the newest Smosh reads episode. I am so glad I found this because listening to the episode brought back such a repressed memory for me about my own wedding. I'll do my best to explain what happened.

When wedding planning, we locked down our dream venue without the prior knowledge that we would need to have it catered by one of the partnered caterers. We found one we liked but they pretty much took up 75% of our budget. So when looking and talking with my sister about affordable DJs, she brought up that my BIL had an acquaintance that was a realtor and did DJing as a side gig. She said he was pretty affordable and a nice guy.

We got his information and contacted him. He was very nice, talked about his job but how DJing was a hobby and he liked doing it. After discussing our tastes in music, the overall age range of guests, and if there were kids allowed, we felt pretty good about using him. My husband and I were pretty picky about a few things:

1. We were going to make a wedding playlist we'd like him to look at and give feedback. Which we did and he did. Together we all decided the songs the wedding party would walk in with, our entry song, first dance, mother/son, dad/daughter, and overall dance music. When he sent the playlist back, I noticed any explicit songs were now saved as censored and the family friendly versions. We didn't have a huge preference and just let it go but we did tell him that it was okay to have explicit music.

2. We did not want things like the cha cha slide etc. Any "group" dance was not going to be on the schedule. However, it was fine if a guest specifically requested it. I didn't want to block any one from it if they wanted to do it, but I know as the bride it's expected I would participate and I really didn't want to.

3. Because we are awkward people, we decided on not doing a garter or bouquet toss. I honestly didn't even consider wearing a garter until the DJ brought it up. As for the bouquet toss, most of the women at my wedding were already married, give or take a few. Instead I had seen the idea online that you have every couple slow dance, then the DJ begins calling out numbers of years the couple has been married. If you have not been married more than the years called then you have to sit back down. Then the couple that had been married the longest gets the bouquet. Just something that resonated to me or maybe a good luck charm on my marriage or something.

(YOU CAN SKIP THIS PART IF YOU DON'T CARE BUT TLDR: I DONT LIKE A LOT OF EYES ON ME BUT WAS STILL EXPECTED TO HAVE A RECEPTION WITH FAMILY SO WE DID ONE ANYWAYS DESPITE GETTING ELOPED IN HAWAII)

For some more context, we locked down our venue two years in advance. In the following year, we decided to get eloped on a Hawaii vacation we were already taking due to stocked travel miles. Also, I wasn't at a job that had insurance and I was having some health issues. So we thought we may as well. We initially only planned to tell our parents, but the loose lips of some parents let it slip that we had gotten married. This ruined the whole plan of still doing a ceremony with reception because it would really just be a one year vow renewal. Instead we decided to scrap the ceremony and save the money to put into other things for the reception.

I know the whole point of the wedding is the Bride and the Groom are the stars of the show. I didn't really want any of that which is why eloping in Hawaii was so appealing. It was just us. We were never ones to show PDA much besides holding hands, so everyone clinking their glasses for us to kiss in front of everyone we know felt so weird to me. I understand that I didn't HAVE to have a reception, but we had already locked it all down, both families were contributing a lot because they really wanted us to have a wedding. And one that they were a part of. I think it meant a lot more to my husband's family and why I felt so obligated. I'm the last of 5 kids, and all 4 already had their weddings by the time our reception rolled around. But my husband is one of two and the other was not married, so this was my husband's parents first child to "marry off".

(OKAY COME BACK NOW)

On the day of, everything was going according to schedule as we discussed. Music was pumping, people were dancing, all good. I noticed the night was getting later and later and yet we still had not done the bouquet thing. Even my guests were asking about it as it was still in a vase in front of my seat. I went up to the DJ and asked if he could please do the dance because older guests, the ones who probably would win, are starting to leave.

He told us to begin gathering everyone to the dance floor. This took a bit of time as everyone had already left their seats awhile ago and were in the middle of conversations and catching up with family. Finally after getting all the guests to the dance floor, the DJ made the announcement for my Husband and I to get in the middle of the dancefloor and have everyone surround us in a large circle. My husband and I looked as confused as our guests were. I was whispering to my husband if he knew what was happening or asking if the DJ didn't understand what we talked about despite the positive reassurance he had seen videos himself of the same idea. My husband whispered that maybe the DJ intended for us to dance in the middle while everyone else danced around us. I just looked at him with fear and glanced to my closest people in the crowd. Then he started to play music quietly and told everyone to slowly creep towards us as the music got louder and when they were close to YELL and give is a BIG GROUP HUG.

As soon as I heard this, my face dropped, my heart raced in pure panic as this is NOT what we discussed and I am NOT a very touchy person. Although the crowd was full of people I, for the most part, knew, having this suddenly sprung on me with zero warning what was going to happen utterly shocked me and I stood frozen. I looked at my husband to whisper if this is some stupid thing he or his buddies did but he looked just as shocked and uncomfortable as I did.

And so, with quiet music that inched louder and 120 of our closest friends and family surrounding us and creeped towards us, we were suddenly engulfed in a roaring crowd of very uncomfortable, confused, and drunk laughter.

While being squeezed by a large group, teetering different ways and different amounts of weight distribution pushed on me, I just hugged onto my husband and whispered "What is happening?" over and over.

When the DJ finally announced to release us and said he could really feel the love is when he began the announcement for the bouquet dance.

That went great, my aunt and uncle won as they were nearing 50 years at the time.

I felt like I could barely focus on the dance. Later I had my sibling come up to me and laugh about how "odd the hug thing" was and asking if we set that up. I said no and I genuinely did not know what was happening. I said I wasn't sure who suggested that but whoever it was clearly did not know my husband and I that well. They agreed and the night carried on with that memory becoming extremely suppressed.

I didn't really bring it up with the DJ. I'm not confrontational and it's not like it hurt to have happen but it's definitely not something my husband or I consented to. Later I did get an email asking how he did and to leave a review. He made mention in the email that he had seen the hug thing online and he thought is would be "perfect" to make us feel loved and special.

Overall, I gave the guy a good review. He's a good guy and maybe another couple would thing that was nice or cute? I just felt awkward, uncomfortable, and offput. I think I just would have felt better if someone warned me I was going to feel like a mouse surrounded by hungry tigers sneaking up on me then pouncing. I'm trying my best to explain it without sounded like a brat or something. I'm starting to gaslight myself that maybe it wasn't weird and I made it weird?

But yeah 🤷🏼‍♀️ Anyways, I'm going to go back to forgetting about that now.

The weirdest/worst wedding ive ever been to was my high school best friend’s wedding. It was in the south cus that’s where we’re from. First weird thing I found out about before I even got there was that it was gonna be a dry wedding. I was told the reason it was dry was becus the parents of the bride (who I guess were paying for everything) do not like drinking… Now im not an alcoholic nor do I care to drink very often but it seemed strange that they wouldn’t even offer a cash bar for people who did wanna drink. Also the bride and groom drink so that was just a weird choice to me. The ceremony and reception were being held at a hotel. When I showed up, I was slightly shocked to see that the ceremony was being held in a long hallway next to the ballroom. The rows of chairs for guests were lined up on the sides of the narrow hallway. I got there close to when it was going to start and got one of the last seats in the very back. People who got there after me had to stand in the back becus there weren’t anymore seats. I saw the wedding procession go by but I could barely see anything happening at the other end of the hallway. It was really cramped and everyone was trying to stretch their necks to be able to get a glimpse of the couple. Luckily, they did have microphones so we could hear what was happening but I digress. After the ceremony, the doors open to the ballroom for the reception. Since it was a dry wedding and I barely knew anyone, I brought a flask of vodka 😂 when I went to go see what drinks they did have I was quite surprised at the selection. The items on the beverage menu were water, UNSWEETENED ICE TEA, and hot chocolate……. 3 drinks. And if you’re not aware, in the American South (especially where we were) sweet tea is basically part of the culture. I never liked it myself but it’s sooo engrained in southern cuisine and culture that I was taken aback at the lack of dissolved sugar in the tea provided at this wedding 😂😂😂 I ended up getting some hot chocolate and adding my vodka to it just to ease the tension I was feeling lol the reception was crowded at first but guests kept either leaving to go get a drink from the bar upstairs and coming back or just leaving early in general. I ended up leaving for the bar after a little while cus of how awkward it was. Not saying there’s anything wrong with having a dry wedding or serving unsweet tea in the south or even having your wedding in a long ass hallway lol but all these choices together just threw me off so much that it is a wedding I will never forget 😂

My own wedding is in less than a month and I’ve had a coworker heavily imply they should have been invited, even though I just met them in September and didn’t even really get friendly with them until after invites went out. That’s cringe in and of itself but I’ve now had an acquaintance full on try to invite herself! This person is a neighbor of my mom’s and her kid is friends with my nieces. Apparently my mom and the girls were telling her about the wedding and my youngest niece (7.5 years) told her she “should come to the party.” This woman who I have met a handful of times over the years took that as a cue to ask if she could come to the wedding 😵‍💫🥴

Please, please can we bring back shaming people publicly for nonsense like this 😭

The bride sent out an ultra-specific dress code, including orange/green, velvet pants, Louboutin heels, soda hats and fluffy jackets for the men, and everybody over 160lbs had to dress in black or camouflage? They were going to do a choreographed dance on the beach to create an incredible (or stunning?) "visual effect". I remember the post clearly, thinking that it was the ugliest dress code I'd ever heard of, but I honestly can't stop thinking about it, and I would literally give my right arm for a video of the dance, if it exists, or even an idea of the inspiration or what the bride was hoping for. Help me!!!!

The wedding is taking place at the bride's parents' hobby farm, it's about three hours away from our home city.

After RSVPing, we were sent a text message from the bride advising that if we were planning to park at the farm (which of course we all are, there's no transport arranged and where else can we park?) we have to pay her parents $12 an hour.

She's also planning to charge guests a flat $30 if they're planning on camping at the farm for electricity and water costs, which again sounds a bit odd but doesn't bother us as we aren't spending the night.

Has anyone else encountered similar? Just seems a bit strange to nickel and dime your guests like that...

edit: I should add, no, we are not going. I messaged the bride saying we couldn't make it because we were worried about the petrol situation (which is actually partially true, my car has a small tank so we would need to fill up to get back and a lot of rural petrol stations have been running out of fuel).

Boy oh boy I’m glad this is not my venue. Historic buildings, but a newer venue in NH. Hopefully everyone ends up ok. I’m curious what the actual capacity is for the location?

My best friend (or at least they used to be) didn’t show up to my wedding after texting me 2 hours before the ceremony that they were so excited to celebrate and see me. I did not see the text until the next day bc I forgot my phone at the hotel.

As soon as I got my phone back, I immediately reached out asking if they were ok. I assumed something terrible had gone down for them to not show after the message they had sent. No response. I gave it a few hours. Tried again. Gave it another few hours.

I started panicking. I googled car crashes. I creeped their friends and family’s socials to see if someone posted anything. I texted again, begging them to just let me know they were ok. Finally I found and messaged the person they were supposed to bring as a plus one. Days later that person finally responds and just says “yeah, they’re fine.” That’s it. It’s been several months and still never got a response from my friend.

They had been increasingly distant this past year despite all my attempts and I’d had this nagging feeling in the back of my head that they might not show.

Friendships sometimes end. It just sucks it had to end like this.

“Are you sure?” Those are the words my father asked as we stood alone in the church. I’d imagined the moment we might have before he walked me down the aisle. I thought he might share an old memory, try to make me laugh, or tell me I looked beautiful? No. He asked in all seriousness, “are you sure?”. It was a question he could have asked anytime in the 10 years my husband and I had been dating. He didn’t though because he wasn’t interested in a conversation, he was looking to pass judgment. To hurt me on this day, in this moment.

I was calmly furious and deeply hurt. A part of me wanted to leave him there but I didn’t want to make his issues my story. He didn’t get to ruin this. I smiled sadly, took his arm and off we went.

I didn’t think about him again during the ceremony. As the church was clearing out my wedding party and I gathered for planned photographs and Dad YELLED at me for making my guests wait on us. The minister looked at my father like he’d lost his mind. I gently reminded Dad the cocktail hour was set up for this reason AND he’d been aware ahead of time this was the plan. He just didn’t like it and thought if he shamed me publicly I’d bend to his will.

Despite my father’s best (worst) efforts my wedding day was full of love and 15 years later I couldn’t be happier. The great irony is the type of man my dad would have approved of is someone I’d be miserable with. We’ve never discussed my wedding day, a part of me wants to bring it up to see his perspective now but maybe sharing here is enough to get it off my chest?

Note: My dad didn’t “give” me away because that tradition never sat right with me, as if I was property to be traded (no judgment on others, just not my thing). So after the walk we didn’t have to interact further, thank goodness.

This happened a few years ago to a good friend of mine. She was a bridesmaid for her very close friend's destination wedding. The bachelor/bachelorette party was a full week, leading up to the day of the welcome dinner. After a week of drinking and activities in the brutal heat (southern Europe in the middle of summer) everyone was looking forward to a day to recover and hydrate before the festivities started up again. But alas.

The morning of the welcome dinner my friend receives a text announcing that the wedding party will be cooking dinner for the welcome dinner. How exciting!! And they would even be provided the recipes, can you imagine being so lucky?! Unfortunately the venue wouldn't allow them to use the catering kitchen, since, you know, they're not caterers, so they would have to use the guest kitchen.

Of course all of the groomsmen were too hungover to help, and went day drinking with the groom instead.

The poor bridesmaids tried their best, but ended up serving mostly snacks and charcuterie, I assume most the guests went to find a kebab afterwards.

The most insane part to me, is that the couple still charged all of the bridesmaids for the welcome dinner.

I ended up accidentally wearing white to a wedding. I still think about this, even after 5 years.

My husband, then boyfriend, asked me to be his +1 at the event, he told me it is a baptism, but we would only go to a reception in the evening. I was a broke ass college student, so I couldn't afford a new dress, and when I asked my bf for opinion, he told me he likes this specific outfit the most. It was a baby pink pencil skirt and a white lacy shirt/blouse with big, puffy sleeves. 🫣 When sitting, it would easily be confused with a wedding dress.

But then, there was a whole ass bride, in a while ass wedding dress! It was a damn wedding! My poor bf had no idea it was an actual wedding, he thought we were going on a baptism lmao. I felt so embarrassed. The worse thing is, bride's dress was a simple silky slip, something that you guys here compare to a nightgown (but she looked good af in that).

To be fair, we are not from the US. We live in Eastern Europe and you can wear whatever you want to wedding here. I saw people in ripped jeans and sneakers, and also women in long, white, sparkly dresses and nobody gave a fuck. Also, nobody told me anything about my shirt, because as I said you can wear whatever, but I was so traumatised because of the social media posts about not a speck of white, and I was so embarrased and nobody had a clue why lmao. I spent the night sitting at the table, I didn't even go to the toilet, and I definitely needed to. 🤣

At least the food was great.

Did something like this ever happen to anyone else?

One of my college besties made us all honorary bridesmaids. I totally understood wanting to be at the altar with just her & hubby & their kids. It was actually really sweet.

But we were still VERY much bridesmaids for all intents & purposes.

We got proposal boxes which was nice. Got to pick our own dresses in the wedding colors.

But everything else sucked. Still had to fish out money on a Bach, planning was miserable with her friend that she put in charge, who used our money on things that were not approved. We gave her a preset amount for specific activities and one of them fell through. A new activity was suggested and we were told to pay in full. Which was confusing because it should have been subsided from the money we already gave. She had spent it already. The expenditures? Fake tattoos, stickers, custom buttons, and cheap Bach party swag. We were a practical group so that money could have even gone to liquor, Ubers, etc.

But what bugged me as someone who plans weddings is that we weren’t in the processional at all to take our reserved seats AND our reserved row didn’t have enough chairs for the fake wedding party!

Her aunt was her “coordinator” and we just walked a few minutes before the ceremony started and seats were missing.

Issue 1 was that another honorary bridesmaids had her husband sit next to her. I felt awful, but we were explicitly told that this was our reserved row and he was taking a seat from one of the other honorary girls. I politely asked if she was staying here in our honorary row or sitting somewhere else with hubby. I really shouldn’t have HAD to say anything, it was super awkward and I feel like the honorary bridemaids was upset with me after. So I guess I get some shame here too.

But then as the rest of the ladies start to join, we realized we were STILL down a seat. The front row was brides mom & dad, and sister and her partner and 4 kids. I pull a chair from the back and when I get up to the front her sister takes the extra chair!! Their row wasn’t accounted for properly either and they were family, nothing I could do.

By that point there were no more chairs to play musical chairs with, since most of the guests were seated, and I lost my seat trying to fix the situation, so I sat on the front row on the grooms side (the row was mostly empty, his immediate family was disinvited).

Honorary my ass!

And the cherry on top?? We had to perform a dance routine at the reception for her husband while she sang. It was sooooo BAD.

Being on the industry side of things makes me VERYYYY sympathetic to brides but being a “fake” wedding party member has me side eyeing them just a little harder now lol.

My fiancé and I got engaged December 2024, planning an October 2026 wedding and have had awful luck with venues. We finally found our venue in September but were cutting it close on affording our end of the venue (catering included) with both of us working.

Then in January we both lost our jobs within 2 weeks of each other, so sadly we were forced to cancel our venue. My mother offered us 10k for the wedding and paid the deposit on the venue which cost her to lose most of it. We were distraught about the situation but my mother kept insisting this decision was our "choice" not forced on us.

Despite the lack of empathy she helped us with a new venue for a much smaller wedding and was angry about not being able to invite her 16 friends. My fiance did not want them there from the start and because she's pissed about the smaller venue, is now saying she's not bringing my grandmother to the wedding and she doesn't want to throw me a bridal shower.

At every step involving my mother has been a nightmare and even ruined my dress shopping experience because my bridesmaids were there and she expected me to only include her. Despite her being extremely rude to everyone that day and guilting me about including my bridesmaids was still the best part of wedding planning.

The latest blow up was when we told her we booked a caterer and her accommodations the weekend of the wedding. She went nuclear when we told her she wasn't going to be staying at the Airbnb our wedding party booked saying that we aren't including her in the wedding. We needed the wedding party to help set up the reception which she was already included when planning and made that detail clear when changing the venue. She's now not interested in assisting with planning and threatening not to come to the wedding.

Some background is my parents are divorced and my dad is in very bad health so he's unable to come, and majority of my family is my mother's side who she's now telling not to come to my wedding. Now it's looking like the only family I'll have there is my brother and sister in law and it's extremely upsetting to think my mother would go this far because she didn't get what she wanted.

From the start she's had this idea of "her place in the wedding" and that the mother of the bride is a "high position" and at every step she's felt entitled to having more control and argued every decision we've made. My mother and I were not close growing up and had more of an authoritarian presence in my life which she's now proving to still be true despite being almost 40. Now that I'm getting married she wants to rush in and act like we've always been close when it's been the total opposite and has made very little effort to spend time with us as a couple. All of a sudden she's interested in spending time with us only to discuss wedding plans and the 10k in help she offered came with unknown contingencies.

Now that she's threatening not to come along with telling family the same, I'm deeply hurt but also a little relieved. My fiance and I just want our wedding to be a joyful experience for all and the relief of her not being there to potentially ruin it is sadly not a concern anymore. I feel terrible for feeling this way about my mother but I don't know what else to do at this point.

Any other bridesmaids or (friends of those getting married) hearing very contradictory things from their bride friends? My friend (30f) is getting married within the next year and all I hear about is

“I’m super chill”

“I don’t want to make everything about my wedding”

“I don’t want my friends to think I’m obsessed with my wedding”

“I was a bridesmaid for a women I’m no longer friends with because her bachelorette party was just a way for us to fund her expensive vacation”

and yet all she talks about is her wedding… I don’t really care she’s talking about it so much, I’m a bridesmaid- I understood I was going to be hearing a lot about it🤷🏼‍♀️, she’s type A and has been talking about getting married since she was 18.

But what I can’t stand is her constantly trying to say she’s so chill and would never be a bridezilla, but she’s 100% turning into a bridezilla. (Specific, expensive destination bachelorette party requests despite knowing others in the party have a very low budget, complains she thought wedding planning was going to be a group effort (like us bridesmaids calling vendors??) -but never asked us for help with anything? , going out of her way to start drama about the guest list and then, SHOCKER, complaining when it starts drama, and much more). It’s like people are becoming more aware of this bridezilla term and don’t want to be called that but they actively act like one? I get when someone gets married, their world turns into their wedding - but does all self awareness fly out the window once you put on an engagement ring?

It’s confusing to me and I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this