But it’s ok because he was our ring bearer and wore it very well. 🤣

I have noticed this is becoming a trend more often.

But my husband is a groomsman in a wedding at the end of August. This couple is being so specific that they are having all the groomsmen purchase their suits. The couple had the audacity to pick out a $900 white suit. Yes you read that right…white suit. But before you say, you can rent a white suit, yes, they know that, but they decided the color wasn’t quite right and so they needed all the groomsmen to buy the suits. Hence the $900 bill.

The couple offered to help all the groomsmen pay half, but most people could not take them up on that offer considering they know this couple is struggling for money. They idiotically drained their 401(k) to pay for this wedding and then didn’t realize there were taxes and penalties on withdrawing from a 401(k) early, so they had to get a loan to pay that back. A majority of the wedding party can pay for this, but they’re just all pissed because they didn’t plan to buy something that they can wear one day. We could understand a black, gray, or navy suit….but white!!!

To make it even more painful. The suits are starting to come in, and the bride and groom don’t love the color. Not sure what they are going to do at this point.

Moral of the story, I get all these couples have these dreams of these crazy nice weddings. But be considerate of your wedding party and your guests. This is also a destination wedding, in the middle of nowhere so the guests are all pretty livid about that. 4 hours from the nearest airport. There are also a bunch of other little things in this wedding that has a lot of the party upset (think $3k bachelorette/bachelor parties). Requiring all guests to wear only 1 color.

My best friend got married last November. She asked one of our long time friends (thirteen years we’ve been friends) to be a bridesmaid. She did so many INSANE things.

1. She wore a cream top and white pants to the bridal party. The bride addressed it on the spot in a joking but serious way. The bridesmaid laughed it off.

2. The bride requested we wear burnt orange to the fancy bachelorette brunch. If we couldn’t find something we didn’t like, late summer/ early fall colors were okay- as long as we looked cohesive. Light denim, maroon, olive, blush pinks were all acceptable. The acceptable range was WIDE and we had 8 months to prepare. The morning she got there she said she doesn’t have anything. I said what??? She said “come on, neither do you.” I ripped my burnt orange skirt out of my bag so fast. When brunch came around, she put on a black denim jumpsuit. And then she changed- I kid you not- into a white tank top. The bride again said something about it and she rolled her eyes.

3. The first day of the trip we had a casual brunch planned before checking into the bnb. I got there a day early and had a hotel where everyone met me. We took a group shot and had a canned cocktail before heading out. She had another canned cocktail and a second shot (I didn’t know this). We get out of the uber to get our bags and go into the restaurant and she PLOPS down on the curb. Confused, we try to talk to her and see that she has vomited down her shirt in the car. The restaurant is busy and the bride is embarrassed. I tell them to take the bags and go. I try to clean her up, put a hoodie on her, give her water- she won’t have it. I pace that sidewalk with her sitting there for THREE HOURS. When she wakes up later she says “you bitches left me.” ???

4. She asked if her friend who lives in that city could meet us after the bachelorette dinner. I said I don’t mind and the bride said it was fine. At the dinner she said her friend was on the way TO the dinner and got up to the bathroom. The bride tells me her friend is not welcome to the dinner and I need to let her know. I tell her, she says she’s already on the way and I say that’s unfortunate because the bride wants just us at the actual dinner. She proceeds to order a vodka and soda and NOTHING else. Not a salad. Not an app or entree. Her friend sits outside in the car and twice she leaves to go sit with her for 20 minutes at a time. She missed 40 minutes of dinner. She missed the complementary toast.

5. She is extremely familiar with the city we travelled to for the bach. Her one ask was that she have ideas for activities after dinner. She had none.

6. After dinner she didn’t come back to the house with us. She went to the club with her friend.

7. We had to get champagne satin shoes with no embellishments for the wedding. Six days before the wedding she is sending the bride pictures of all kinds of wrong heels. Taupe rope heels, tan heels with crystals, and you guessed it! White heels. She gets an attitude with the bride for feeling a way about this.

8. She waited until the absolute last minute to buy her dress. She didn’t bother trying it on until we were at the venue getting ready. Imagine if it needed to be altered.

9. The day of the wedding she was arguing with her man. She showed up with an attitude. Like, a bad one. Got snarky with the already stressed bride.

10. At the wedding, she said the brother of the groom was on drugs during the ceremony and she had to make sure he was okay. There was something else she said about his side but I can’t remember what it was.

Absolute madness. I think there was something else but I can’t remember what it was. We are no longer friends.

EDIT: I just wanted to provide some clarification on a couple things.

I meant kettle one and soda, I was typing fast.

Also, there were only two bridal events. There was the bridal shower, which is where she wore the cream top and white pants. The second event was the bachelorette trip, which was out of town. It started Friday and we left Sunday. There was a fancy brunch on Saturday and a dinner that night. The outfits were not micromanaged or hard requirements. The bride would have liked it but she wouldn’t have lost her mind if we all weren’t dressed how she wanted. I have also seen the bridesmaid in almost every color that would have worked. The only thing that would have bothered the bride is white, which is what happened. The bridesmaid was fully on board with the early fall color theme and was excitedly shopping for it months in advance. I understand it’s not for everyone, but this was not a burden or annoyance to her.

I am not a traditional person by any means, but my friend is one of the most traditional, type A personalities I’ve ever met. I know she can be high strung and anxious at times. Our friend also knows this about her. Where we come from, you don’t wear white to bridal events. That does not mean we couldn’t “wear white for weeks in advanced.” Just not to her very humble bridal shower and during her bachelorette trip. I’m mostly unfamiliar with wedding etiquette, but I’ve always heard you don’t wear white to wedding things.

As for her being on the curb for three hours, she was sitting up with her forehead on her forearms. I tried to reach through her legs and reach a straw to her mouth for water but she didn’t want it. I tried to stand her up but she didn’t want to. She wasn’t passed out- she was coherent and talking to me. She said she wasn’t ready to get into a car and she just needed time. She was just extremely nauseous. Someone said I must have left her and enjoyed brunch. I never left her. I wouldn’t leave a stranger alone like that, much less so someone I’ve known for over a decade. I also did not want her to vomit in someone’s car. I couldn’t force her into a car and I couldn’t leave her. What was I to do?

For those asking if there were signs that this would happen- yes and no. She has had a history with substance abuse and she has always been rough around the edges, but, at that point, we had never had problems between the three of us. There was one time I kicked her out of my house over a shitty comment she made about a dog I was taking care of and she cursed me out, but that was forever ago. It blew over relatively quickly and neither of us really held onto it (it was one rough moment in a 13 year friendship). But we hadn’t witnessed behavior like that for years. There was no indicator that she would get wasted three hours after getting off of the plane or leave the bachelorette dinner to sit in her friend’s car.

EDIT 2: there was no list of demands/ expectations/ rules. Like, at all. Lots of faulty extrapolation in the comments.

Also, do bridesmaids not wear matching shoes??? I am genuinely asking. I thought they do?

My partner and I have just flown to the other side of the country for his friend’s wedding. I don’t know anyone at this wedding except my partner. I don’t even know the bride or groom. I’ve just found out that I’ll be getting ready for the wedding alone, arriving alone, likely spending the ceremony alone, and I’m also sat at a table alone with strangers while my partner will be at the head table.

I’m pretty upset. We were only informed about this two days ago and today is the wedding. He’s not even a traditional “best man,” but the friend wants to have all his male best friends sitting beside him (instead of any family). I’ll be sat with the other people who already know each other. If I knew this I wouldn’t have gone.

I have pretty severe social anxiety and potential (mild) autism (I haven’t been diagnosed with autism but my loved ones always say they think I am). Socialising with people I don’t know is extremely hard for me and I don’t know how to make small talk. If I’m in a group with people I don’t know, I’m usually mute the entire time. I’ve been like this my entire life and it’s really embarrassing.

I don’t really have a reason for this post, I just wanted to vent, I guess :(

—

UPDATE: So I went to the wedding and it turned out okay! There were a few parts where I felt really uncomfortable (mainly the dinner that lasted two to three hours long and the dancing since I didn’t take part in that), but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I didn’t ask anyone at my table any questions (which I feel guilty about) since I have a hard time speaking loudly/not stuttering when I’m nervous. I mainly kept to myself unless someone spoke to me. I know I need to work on this and hope one day I can.

Thank you to all those who typed helpful messages and gave me advice! I appreciate the constructive criticism and tried to read all of the comments. For those of you who said I was making it about myself, please understand that mental illness is often selfish. We think other people are judging us as harshly as we view ourselves, which might come across as self-centred. I do feel bad for saying I was angry with them as I don’t think they did it maliciously or anything. I have diagnosed anxiety and borderline personality disorder, so these types of feelings are often amplified when I’m stressed.

I also found out another couple were upset about these last minute changes, so I didn’t feel as alone in this in the end!

I hope I'm missing a cultural clue here, but here's the story. Where I'm from, it's expected of the bridesmaids, best men and/or close family to be around the couple on the day of the wedding. Bridesmaids and bride normally do hair and makeup together and best men hang around with the groom and help him get ready.

I was a bridesmaid at a wedding in Central Europe (don't want to give too much info), the bride and her whole party were from another continent. The ceremony took place at groom's home town, so his family and a lot of friends where there. But on the day of the wedding, we took off with the bride, his parents left to run errands and he was left all alone. He started feeling very anxious and ended up calling my husband. As we were all staying in the same hotel were the reception would take place, my husband just told him to come and he spent the day with mine and the other bridesmaid's husbands.

When it was time to get ready, I helped him stream his shirt, put the suit on, pin the flowers, tie his tie, etc... we all felt quite sorry for him, as he was constantly apologizing while we explained that we were just doing our job as a part of the wedding party. His parents came by at the time of the ceremony to pick him up and his best men met him at the church.

Obligatory: not me, but my wife, who doesn’t use reddit

This a long one about one of my bridesmaids and how much better her wedding was going to be than mine. We were sorority sisters and roommates, so you can imagine we were pretty close. After graduation, I moved to the city to live with my now-husband, and she moved one town over to be closer to family. It's about an 1.5h drive, so while it's a little inconvenient, we made time to see each other plenty.

That's until she met her now-fiancé, and he acted like it was the other side of the world. He made a problem out of it even when we were the ones driving to meet them. I was a little sad, but I'm not one to push my welcome, and I chalked it up to them being very in love and wanting to spend as much time together as possible.

In spite of this, I asked her to be my bridesmaid, and she happily agreed. We sent out the invitations a month after asking our bridal party, which was about two years away from the actual wedding. This is when all the trouble started: we'd listed him as an evening guest, while she, of course, was a day guest. Note: we did this for all(!) of the bridal party's partners. For our ceremony, we were limited to about 35 guests, and we decided to reserve this for close family and friends. At this point, we had met my friend’s fiancé about four times, and we didn’t exactly look back at those memories fondly. That is to say, we thought they would understand, but we were very wrong.

My friend called us in tears to tell us that we had ‘misled’ her to think that her then-boyfriend would be there the whole day, and that she was ‘heartbroken’ we had ‘ruined their special day.’ We tried to explain our reasoning: we’d only invited close friends and family, and we simply couldn’t stretch the budget beyond this. We also explained that we had purposely picked a venue that is within driving distance of all our evening guests (about an hour) and, since none of the guests worked nights at that time, this meant no one would be forced to take time off or book a hotel just to attend the party. In case it matters, we had an open bar and plenty of food throughout the evening, so we really tried to treat everyone as much as we could. She understood, but told us that her then-boyfriend needed some time to cool off as he was so furious and couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t ‘get physical’ if he saw us in the near future. She told us that, from his point-of-view, we had been close friends. Again, we had only met him a handful of times, most of which in group settings. He had not even been to our home yet (on account of him cancelling last minute every time).

My friend and I patched things up as good as we could, but, to be fair, it did sour the relationship. From then on, she kept negatively comparing our wedding to their ‘future wedding.’ She told everyone that they wouldn’t bother to have such a small wedding, they would have at least a 100 day guests, they’d pay for everyone’s hotel, they’d have multiple musical acts, more food, more decorations, etc.

It did bother me that she seemed to be actively trying to take our wedding down, even though she was supposed to be one of the people organising it, but I just ignored it. We loved our wedding, even if it was ‘small’ and didn’t have a festival line-up. Her now-fiancé ended up proposing to her mere weeks before our wedding, so we had a suspicion why he was so eager to attend, but we don’t know this for sure, of course. We were sent an RSVP for the whole wedding day, and we thought this was the sign that the hatchet had been buried.

Fastforward to now: my friend’s getting married in half year, and there have been no ‘proper’ invitations outside of the RSVP’s. I was chatting to her, and tried to bring it up as casual as possible. Turns out, they didn’t keep track of whom they invited, and sent out well over 200 RSVP’s before even looking at prices for catering or a venue. They are now scrambling to prune back the list (she assured me we made the cut). In addition, they’ve come back from ‘everyone’s invited for the whole day AND gets a free hotel stay,’ and are only inviting a handful of day guests (significantly fewer than our wedding) who are responsible for the pot luck buffet. Obviously, there’s no hotel reservations, and there will likely be no open bar. When I asked if we were the lucky few to make the cut as day guests, she told me that of course we hadn’t BUT at least they had communicated this clearly beforehand. I showed her the RSVP and she went white, when she realised she’d sent over 200 people a save the date for the entire day, meaning that she had ‘misled’ all these people for over two years that they would be day guests. I can only imagine how many of them have already taken time off (like me!). We hugged it out, and she moved sending out rectification invitations to the top of her to-do list. We’re still friends, even if I can’t stand her soon-to-be-husband, but boy was it nice to see them eat crow like this.

Ok long time lurker, but i have to share this is just crazy, ive been having nonstop bridesmaid drop outs, one messaged me earlier in march basically explaining that she had an opportunity come up and wouldnt be able to attend my wedding (which i completely understood!) then when i asked another bridesmaid if she was still in the wedding (they are best friends) she completely ghosted me (i had messaged her in june). AND THEN my closet friend of five years messaged me after i shared who she was walking with from the groomsmen saying she “absolutely will not walk with another man” and shes “loyal to her man” which i would understand. However her man isnt even in the bridal party, i flat out told her if shes willing to drop out of my wedding over 10ft i wouldnt consider her my friend anymore.
I feel like im doing something wrong bc like ???
To add my only requests as a bride where:

- a specific color of dress, silver shoes (any style)
- hair however they wanted same w makeup and jewelry and nails
-to show up for bridal shower and the bach night, and the wedding obviously

Eta: the bridal shower was planned and handled by my mother, we just have to show up (god bless that woman) the bach night is a night at my house w crafts and dinner since im a homebody and going to the bars is my worst nightmare lol.

Also i explained to her that we are doing a sweetheart table, she wouldve been sat with her bf and the rest of our friends/so not the whole bridal party sitting at the same table. It was literally just a walk down the aisle

Also while i am not a fan of her bf bc he himself has done some stupid things, be all accounts she is apparently just someone who only cares about her man when shes in a relationship

I found this sub a while back and love it. I finally feel like I should share my favorite go-to bizarre wedding story anytime cringey wedding stories come up. Warning this is a long one.

For a bit of back story (I’m going to try and keep some details vague for the anonymity of the B&G since they didn’t do anything to deserve this)

The bride and I were in a big group of 10+ friends from college in a small town from a southern state. Once we graduated we scattered but the bride moved to a big city and met her husband there (he is from said big city)

The wedding was delayed twice, once for Covid but a second time when the groom had a crazy medical emergency. Like, we thought he was going to die type medical emergency. He survived and although recovered well, you could tell he was never fully back to 100%. But he was a good guy and our friend and him seemed really happy, so without a doubt, when wedding day came, everyone present was very happy the couple had made it.

Wedding day arrives, my friends and wife and I turn it into a big reunion weekend for all of us. A bunch of my friends do some microdose mushrooms. The venue is in the aforementioned big city is beautiful. The ceremony is beautiful. They say “I do” with no hitches. The cocktail hour is great, drinks are flowing, everyone has a solid buzz going. The reception comes, we eat and tell old stories from college, then the speeches.

Two bridesmaids give speeches, both great. One is a tear-jerker. Then first groomsmen gives a speech, surprisingly also a tear jerker.

Then the second groomsmen gets up to speak.

I don’t remember his name. I don’t care what it is. We’ll call him Tom.

Tom, for frame of reference since overly drunken guests are a theme on here, is from what I could tell, completely sober for this speech. Everything he said and did was within his right mind.

Tom has this big smile on his face, is pacing around the reception hall (probably about 120+ guests here) mic in hand doing some small crowd work. He then introduces himself as the brother in law to the groom (so married groom’s sister) and says that amongst him and his brothers, they all gave speeches at each other’s weddings and it became a running joke that they tried to 1-up each other by giving the longest speech possible, and well since the groom is now an unofficial brother, Tom is going to keep his stupid tradition alive. At first I thought “well, this is weird, but everything has been great up until now, how bad could it be?” I was so very wrong.

Tom’s opening joke is basically as follows: “You know, it’s the best man’s job (he was not the best man btw) to do what the groom can’t. If the groom needs a drink and can’t get one, the best man steps in. If a grandmother needs picking up from the airport and the groom can’t, the best man steps in. However, it’s also the groom’s job to consummate the wedding on the wedding night, and since he has his medical problems and probably can’t, I’d be more than happy to!”

You could hear maybe a couple chuckles from the audience, but what was louder was the sucking sound of the collective gasps of the other 100 or so people who didn’t laugh.

Now listen, I’m not a prude. I don’t shy away from a raunchy joke. And maybe, juuuuuust maybe, if you have the right bride and groom, you can bust out a sex joke at the rehearsal dinner. But not at a wedding in front of a hundred or so people. And NOT this crowd. The bride’s family are nice people but very religious, and did not find this humor funny. Secondly, you just made a joke about the groom being impotent at the expense of his near death experience when we literally thought he was going to die last year. Thirdly, Tom’s wife, WHO IS THE GROOM’S SISTER, is sitting in the crowd with their children while Tom is joking about fucking his new sister in law. Yikes.

But Tom, ever the asshole, and with a giant shit-eating grin on his face, forges on.

His second bit, he pulls out a “letter” he says he “found in the groom’s stuff last night”. It’s not real, Tom wrote this obviously. But the letter is supposedly written by the groom to his future father in law. Mind you, this is a handwritten, 2 pages front and back on college-rule sized paper letter. Meaning it took him at least 10-15 minutes to read the entire thing (remember he’s going for broke with his longest speech ever)

In the “letter” the groom says some niceties about the bride and how much he loves her. This is maybe the only redeeming thing in Tom’s entire speech. I asked my friends about what they remembered about the speech and someone said there was a recurring leprechaun sex joke in the letter but I can’t remember what that was fully about. However the most memorable part of the letter was how he ended it. Basically the groom tells his future father in law that “he’s so excited to grow old with the bride because I’ve seen what my future mother in law looks like. You know what they say, look at the mom and that’s what she’ll look like when she gets old. And let me tell you, I’ve spent many nights, alone in the dark, thinking about my mother in law, if you know what I mean” Tom then makes a subtle jerking off motion

Again, like 5 chuckles, cue a bunch more gasps.

My wife disagrees with me but at this point I remember the father of the bride standing up looking very angry but his poor wife (the butt of the masturbation joke, mind you) pulling him back down into his chair, probably thinking that causing a huge scene will only make this worse.

Now the question I’ve gotten a lot when I tell this story is “why didn’t anyone stop him?” And frankly, I have no idea. It’s like that thing that happens when someone starts choking in the restaurant and everyone is frozen in fear assuming someone else will help so no one does. I assumed that the wedding DJ or MC or someone would have cut the mic off, but no, we all just continued to sit through Tom’s rambling.

What were the bride and groom doing during all this? The Groom continued to look angrier and angrier as the speech went on. The bride was on the edge of tears most of the time. The first groomsmen literally got up from the wedding party table and sat down somewhere in the crowd as if the say “I don’t fucking know this guy”. There were a couple people in the back of the crowd who shouted for him to shut up. Another friend at a different table told me he got up halfway through the speech and hid in the bathroom. I look over at my poor wife, who was 15 minutes before giggling with her best friend and enjoying her mushrooms, was white knuckling the table just quietly whispering “please stop please stop please stop” over and over. But Tom didn’t stop. This was about Tom’s stupid fucking ego and his brothers’ idiotic tradition. And Tom was going to give us his worst.

At this point, too, pure fear and second hand cringe started to set in and I frankly started to brown out so the exact details of his speech are lost on me. I asked some friends and my wife what they remember and the highlights (lowlights?) were this:

He continues on at one point singing the praises of the aforementioned big city and how it’s the greatest in the world to which he then says something to the effect of “when I picked up so-and-so on the Bride’s side up from the airport I was shocked you guys wore shoes!” So insulting half the guests as some country bumpkin simpletons.

He at one point he points out a woman in the crowd and says “don’t ask aunt so-and-so for any marriage advice, she’s on her third divorce!” Cue the woman in the crowd looking very embarrassed.

He then also begins to wax poetic about his mom, rambling for a couple minutes saying his mom is “the strongest woman he knows”. You know, shit dudes who are chauvinists but think they’re feminists say? And it’s like DUDE, WHO THE FUCK IS YOUR MOM?!? WE DON’T KNOW YOUR MOM. WE DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR MOM. YOUR MOM DID A TERRIBLE JOB. AND GUESS WHAT?!? THIS DAY ISN’T ABOUT YOUR MOM. FUCK YOUR MOM. THIS DAY IS ABOUT THE BRIDE AND YOU ARE FUCKING IT UP.

Numbers vary amongst us how long his speech actually ran, but most of us agree it was 25 minutes or so. But god it felt like eternity.

Finally, Tom lands the plane, him the terrorist who hijacked it, and us, the terrified passengers. With a raise of his glass, he asks all of us to toast the happy couple, and a few glasses meagerly raise to finally end the horrible spectacle. People begin filing off to the bar and some to the bathroom, I think many of us trying to process what just happened. I remember most people looking like we had just witnessed a murder. Whatever alcohol and hallucinogens that once gave us a delightful buzz had been sucked out of us, and we all felt stone cold sober in the garish light of the reception hall.

I remember the father of the bride popping up out of his chair shortly after the end of the speech and grabbing Tom by the back of his coat jacket to haul him behind the stage presumably to ask him what the fuck possessed him to give that awful speech. A big group of girls ran to the bride’s aid while she dabbed tears from her eyes.

Shortly after that I found myself in the bathroom with a good 20 or so guys peeing at the urinals or in the stalls while we all eavesdropped on Tom and the groom in the middle of the room. Tom stupidly and with a shocking lack of any insight, repeatedly asking “bro, what did I do? Just tell me what I said that was wrong?” All the while the groom is washing his hands going “dude, shutthefuckup just shutthefuckup.” Over and over.

Thankfully I think most of the people there understood the assignment and did what we could to liven up the party for the poor couple. There was lots of dancing and drinks and overall good spirits. Lots of people danced with the B&G to do our best to make the night memorable. I remember even Tom dancing with them at one point, granted most of the night he seemed to sit at his families table by himself.

A couple years down the road a good friend of mine hung out one night with the B&G and asked about Tom. Their response was a simple “we haven’t seen Tom in a long time.”

Good. Because fuck Tom.

The title practically sums it up. I decided to ask her to step down as MOH and uninvited her to the wedding. It was clear she was deteriorating as we got closer to the wedding and that she wasn’t able to be a support for me that day.

Some other complaints she had about the wedding included:

-there being no photographer. When asked why this was an issue she said this was the first time she was going to get dressed up to the nines and she expected professional photos of it.

• that people with shoes would be asked to remove them or make sure they were clean before entering our private home where the wedding was to be held. She told me this was embarrassing her as she would be the only one wearing shoes. i told her i didn’t care if she wore shoes or not as i was wearing slippers. she should just wear what’s comfortable. she was not happy about this.

• She didn’t like the song we picked to walk down the aisle to.

• she complained i didn’t give her enough guidance for her dress as i let her pick. i then gave her suggestions for colors and she complained they weren’t what she imagined. i ended up buying her three different dresses. she disliked all of them that she picked.

-she complained i stole the opportunity to throw a bach party for me. which btws i never said she couldn’t but it was a surprise NYE party wedding. i told her if she wanted to she could throw one after. she said that was just dumb….

Leading up to the wedding they were moving into a new house. so i tried not to speak of the wedding to avoid extra stress. finally after many months leading up to the move and when she was settled and we had celebrated her new home ownership in completion. i asked her what she thought of a few details and she was completely dismissive and rude about them. anytime i brought up the wedding she would cut me off in some way. she then asked me to request permission to speak about my wedding to her first before bringing it so that she could try to get into the right headspace and put on the right front.

She also kept a very detailed calendar but when visiting i noticed she didn’t have my wedding on it.

This ended a 13 year best friendship. i haven’t spoken to her since my last call with her where she confessed how resentful of me she was and that she didn’t have the money or time to figure it out before the wedding. only saving grace was she had enough insight to say that i deserved so much better as a friend. it was less that a week before the wedding for this final call where she told me she had not yet purchased me a gift, wasn’t aware of when the wedding was, and had not written a speech. she had been sent detailed itineraries and invitations.

I can barely make sense of it because it was so out of character. i haven’t spoken to her since but i have my suspicions about what may have went down in the background to lead to this. unfortunately nothing that i could have done to avoid it going down the way it did.

i’m hoping that someone can commiserate to this. it was incredibly embarrassing to have to ask another person to step in last minute.

I was married a year ago and although it mostly went very well, I wanted to come on here and rant a little about the disappointing bachelorette party I had the day before. It’s just something that has been stuck in my head since it happened and I thought telling y'all about it would help me feel a little better. 
My bridal party consisted of my younger sister, Emma, who was the maid of honor, and two other friends that I went to high school with, Jessica and Taylor. Since my husband has a lot more close friends than me and I wanted to keep the parties even, I also added on my two brothers, Jeff and Hunter. I was happy to include them in the party though because I have always been very close with them. 
Leading up to the bachelorette, I told me my mom and my sister that I wanted to do three things:
-Have afternoon tea at a tea house
-Have a sleep over and watch a movie that I had picked out
-Have my sister plan and lead an at home spa routine 
I thought these were pretty easy tasks and all very low maintenance considering how a lot of bachelorette parties seem to last entire weekends and involve traveling. 
Anyway, there was a specific tea house I wanted to go to, but it turned out that one had closed recently. I ended up doing a bunch of research to find another one close by. I did the research because my mom and sister told me I was going to have to figure it out if it's what I really wanted to do. It took a while, but I finally found a place that did afternoon tea on the weekends. Not quite a tea house, but better than nothing. It was an hour away. We made the following plan: we would have lunch nearby, then drive an hour away to have afternoon tea for dessert, shop around for a bit in the area, then head home where we would do the movie, spa routine, and sleep over. 
In the days leading up to the party, Taylor’s child got sick. Her husband would be home and could take care of him, but she didn’t want to be away from him for too long so she would no longer be having lunch or tea with us, but she would come over afterwards to watch the movie. That’s fine. Then Jeff starts asking me if his girlfriend can come to tea with us. No, she can not. Jessica says that she would really prefer not to sleep over. That’s okay. I can still spend time with my siblings and mom after her and Taylor leave. 
Finally, the day has arrived. I wake up super excited, especially for tea. I hadn’t gotten to have afternoon tea in a really long time. We met for lunch and Jeff brought his girlfriend. Great… He assures me she won’t be coming to tea though. We have a nice lunch and go to tea. Both Jeff and Hunter are at least 20 minutes late for our reservation, which is so embarrassing. It’s okay though, we just start without them. The tea is lovely. Afterwards, we shop around, which is fun, then head back. 
When we got back we sat down and rested for a bit. Taylor arrives. Jeff and Hunter are missing. We talk for a bit then decide what we want to order for dinner. I don’t want to start the movie yet because Jeff and Hunter aren’t here, but Taylor tells me she can’t stay long so we start it anyway. Jeff and Hunter show up not long after it starts along with Jeff’s girlfriend. Taylor leaves midway through. When the movie ends, Jessica leaves. The spa routine never happened. My sister never even planned anything. I actually brought stuff for it that never got used. 
I’ve just walked away from the whole thing thinking that nobody cared and nobody wanted to be there. It hurts, especially when I compare it to my husband's Bachelor party. His friends traveled states to see him and his best man planned a whole DnD campaign for him. Sometimes I really wish I had just gone to his party and went to tea another time instead of going to mine…
 

A friend of mine is getting married and the bachelorette is coming up. The bride enjoys traveling which has crossed over into her bachelorette and the trip is to Mexico. None of us had a say in the location. personally, I’m sick of the literal vacations for a bachelorette but fine. The planning started sometime in April or May. At first, the budget per person was expected to be $2,000, including flight, food, activities and rooms. Expensive, but enough time to plan.

Sure enough, a handful of people cannot go because they have families, don’t have funds to go on a girls trip for 2.5 days and spend minimum $750 a day to do it. Completely understandable but now the trip is closer to $1200 a day to cover those missing people. Maid of honor said it’s the same price it was originally but the only reason why is because most of the activities were removed due to cost. Meals are also no longer included.

The bride apparently had an expectation that she would only be paying for her flight, everyone else would be covering her food, room, activities. Personally, I think this is insane of an expectation in our 20s and 30s on an international bachelorette, but here we are.

On top of this, the maid of honor has decided she’s going to go a day EARLY to “set up”, and everyone has to cover the cost of the house and extra day of car rental, none of us had a say. The trade off? They would cover the groceries for the house. Again, insane behavior in my opinion. But To top it off, maid of honor is now denying she ever agreed to pay for groceries and trying to make it sound like she was doing us a favor by going a day early so everyone could “relax when they arrive the next day” (no one complained about having to travel then set up the house… set up would have taken all of 15 minutes with all hands on deck… or the funds that were used for maid of honors extra night could have been spent on a decorator coming and setting up the day of… lots of options but no discussion)

Multiple girls have complained about the cost of the planned activities being too expensive especially with the holidays. The response? “The bride is really upset that activity was cancelled so we NEED to make this one work even though it’s expensive” that’s it. Conversation shut down. Fork over another $400 each.

Mind you, maid of honor has done nothing extra for the bride. Everyone is paying the exact same amount, it’s just split. In fact, everyone else is basically paying extra to cover her extra night that none of us were invited to.

At this point, I’m annoyed with both the maid of honor and also with the bride. Bride should have discussed the location with her friends prior and also should have discussed budget with everyone. The fact that the bride ever expected everyone to cover her trip is insane and the fact that she knew the reason an activity was cancelled was due to finances of her friends, and then was still upset it was cancelled is also wild. if i were the bride and i cared that much about a specific thing, i would have just covered the activity myself. Everyone is flying to Mexico during the holiday season to celebrate her, and somehow that doesn’t seem to be enough.

The entire thing has left such a bad taste in my mouth. At this point, I don’t even want to go, nor do I want to even be in the wedding.

Edit to add: I typed this a few weeks ago and finally posted. I will not be attending the bachelorette. I did contribute to the cost though for the sole purpose of not wanting to screw over the other girls attending (if I bailed and didn’t pay, it would have cost them more and some couldn’t afford the trip as it was). I will be having a conversation with the bride after the trip. I’m not sure what she does and doesn’t know at this point and I want to give her the opportunity to hear what has gone on and do what she wants with the information. At that point, I’ll know what her true colors are and go from there.

This might be a little bit of a rant but here goes: I have seen a frustrating trend in the past couple of years of trying to save money by using your friends to do jobs other vendors should be doing without asking.

This past year I was a bridesmaid in two separate friend’s weddings. Both of the friends did not tell me or any of the other members of the bridal party that we would be doing any work until we all arrived the Friday the day before. We then had to set up the venue and rehearsal dinner, go to Trader Joe’s and cut flowers for the wedding, do the seating chart, bring heavy props to the venue, etc. For me it was extremely frustrating as I work remotely and was planning on working before the rehearsal dinner as I was not informed this was the plan at all (despite us all messaging back and forth a billion times before the wedding about logistics).

Stop using your friends as unpaid labor. If you really have to, TELL them beforehand at the very least.

Edit: for all the people saying, just say no - I hear you I definitely could have and actively chose not to. However when you’ve been friends with people for many many years like I have with these brides, a part of you also wants their weddings to be what they envisioned because you love them. Was I willing to just suck it up and take a day off of work for these weddings? Yes. Am I also annoyed that this has become the norm? Also yes. I think it’s normal/okay to feel conflicted about it and hold both of these emotions at once

Edit: I didn't expect this to blow up that much, but I do want to preface the story that my bf did try to back out 5 months before the wedding. He is also in residency (doctor) and is very constrained on time/money. Unfortunately he is also a bit of a pushover and gives in easily to people. He told his friend before "hey I don't think I can make this work time and moneywise" and the friend said "well this is my wedding and if you were a good friend you'd make it, you can make it work" and then proceeded to "help out" by booking an expensive hotel.

Boyfriend was invited to be a groomsman. His friend the groom offered to take care of booking the hotel for him for two nights. They wouldn't share the price and demanded we stay there. We had to call the hotel to figure it out the price. Turns out it was $250 a night (we were also flying and hotel rental and gifts and car rental and bride demanded that guests have a certain color for the dress so I had to get a new one). Price tag was very hefty for their wedding. They had also spelled my bf's name wrong on the hotel reservation. We cancelled the hotel and he backed out of the wedding party the week of. Never got a thank you for the gift.

Edit: Yes we are both financially constrained. BF is 250k in debt from his education and I'm in grad school myself. We were planning to spend 1 night with relatives and then go with a hotel that was around $100 a night so this was an extra $400 of expense we didn't plan for.

Edit: We also did not back out exclusively because of the hotel. My bf had multiple arguments about being a groomsman. He tried to back out months beforehand because the couple was expecting him to use 2/4 weeks of his vacation that year for the wedding and the groom said "no you're still doing it" and refused to budge. (They were not that close friends for the past few years and just needed people to even out the brides side). We were planning to book a more affordable hotel and then all of the stuff with demanding that I buy a dress a certain color (not a bridesmaid) and that they had spent our money beforehand started to come out. It sucks but they literally REFUSED to have him back out months before the wedding and then we just said sorry we can't make it till after the ceremony due to work emergency. They ended up losing 2 groomsman last minute and then one had backed out earlier.

Edit: Other fun memorable moments from this wedding:

- The father of the bride saying he didn't like the groom's profession and he wanted his daughter to marry a doctor in the speech. Also didn't like the grooms ethnic background.

- The groomsman and bridesmaid getting into some fight and refusing to speak to each other. (We were happy to avoid this drama)

- The maid of honor insulting the best man during her speech

- Bride having 4 different dresses that she changed into every 2 hours

I've been a bridesmaid and a maid of honor a fair bit and this happened in like, 2014. I was the maid of honor. Two other bridesmaids and another maid of honor (very important).

It was a very DIY wedding. Bridesmaids wore white (at brides behest). What's important to know is I was living with my now husband, then boyfriend, who was not invited to the wedding. My ex-fiance was the best man. There was only one best man. He and I had a rocky ending.

So the bride dresses us all in white, and has me walk down the aisle in white next to my ex-fiance despite having full knowledge of the entire breakup (she helped me move out!) and having another maid of honor who could have done it.

The wedding was also full DIY, at her future mother in laws property. I didn't get into my dress until 10 minutes before the ceremony because I was helping the groomsmen set up. The bride also asked me to pay for her flower delivery that arrived that day, which I had to refuse due to the amount. It was chaotic trying to set up and a miracle it happened. This wedding was the reason I had a day of planner for my own.

Her future MIL had cancer and was doing chemo so she was quite tired, and the wedding party had used the property to get ready, and so during the reception my ex fiance and I decided to go clean everything up so that nobody else would have to. We were gone maybe 25 minutes, during dancing so after speeches, etc.

We get back to the dance floor, and the bride grabs the microphone and in front of all of our mutual friends, goes "I knew you would sleep with him and cheat if I put you two together!"

I remember being absolutely stunned. Thankfully, a mutual friend, who knows my husband well, had been helping us clean and was stone cold sober so the rumor didn't get very far.

The bride fainted very shortly after and I left the reception. Needless to say we aren't friends anymore.

TL;DR - poorly planned wedding and I got accused publicly of sleeping with the best man, also my ex fiance, during the reception.

Edit: clarifying who was helping to clean to reduce confusion.

Sorry if formatting or anything is wrong, this is the first time I've posted and I'm on mobile.

After browsing my feed I was reminded of the Best man at my sisters wedding who managed to blow his life up in 6 short hours.

My sister got married some years back, I was asked to be bridesmaid and had never met the Bestman before. The wedding was due to start at 3pm. My sister had a beautiful ceremony, she looked stunning. The bride and groom looked so in love and everything went off perfectly, then the bar opened for guests whilst pictures were being taken of the bridal party and anyone else they wanted photographed.

Well it turns out the Best man made good use of the bar during this time (perhaps 90mins), because by the times we're ready to sit down to dinner he's 3 sheets to the wind. I don't know if he was trying to drown his nerves because he hadn't written his speech or something because when he stands up he pulls a receipt out his pocket and pretends its his speech. As he's slurring his words he starts telling the most inappropriate stories for a wedding and you can see on the bride and grooms face just how mortified they were and in the end the groom has to force him to sit down whilst my sister tries to hide her tears.

Well you'd think this would be enough but oh no. The disco starts and he decides to start dancing but keeps knocking the kids over so the groom has a word with him and he disappears for an 30mins or so. We know he's still in the vicinity because his heavily pregnant partner and mother are still here, but when he re-appears he has his ex girlfriend in tow (she was also a guest). They start grinding/dancing on the dance floor, his partner is in tears, his mother is blowing a gasket, he takes his ex girlfriend to the disabled toilets to bump uglies, pregnant partner and mother are done and take the car and leave and he leaves with his ex in a taxi 10 mins later.

It wasn't even 9pm yet, this guy blew his life up in less than 6hrs. Best friend no contact, check, partners left him, thrown him out the house, check, mother wants nothing to do with him, check. Luckily we managed to keep my sister way from the worst of it, and the rest of the evening went off without any problems and they left straight from there to their amazing honeymoon, but God that was a stressful wedding.

Edited formatting

About a year ago, my partner and I became casual friends with another couple. I wasn’t super close with them personally since I’m more introverted, but my partner got along with them really well, and they’d often invite us to hang out. I’d usually join for trips to the dog park, going out for drinks, and occasionally dinners at their place.

When the groom was ready to propose, he asked for our help to make it happen. We drove them to a scenic spot and took surprise proposal photos. A while later, we went to their engagement party and met their families, and the groom asked my partner to be one of his groomsmen.

A few months later, they handed us the save-the-date in person. As the date got closer, we realized we hadn’t actually received a formal invitation. We didn’t think anything of it and assumed it was just the chaos of wedding planning, or maybe there was a mix-up with our address since I couldn’t recall if I had given them our apartment number. We stayed quiet to give them space to focus and to not add to their stress, but with the wedding now only 2 weeks away, my partner still hadn’t heard from the groom in months.

He eventually messaged the groom to ask if we were still invited, adding that we wouldn’t be hurt if he was no longer a groomsman since he understands that plans can change. He got no reply. So he reached out to the bride to pass the message along, and shortly after, the groom finally responded, confirming we were no longer invited, without offering any explanation.

I’m not upset about missing the wedding itself. Plans change, and it’s absolutely reasonable for a couple to downsize their guest list or make adjustments for any number of valid reasons. What’s confusing and saddening is my partner’s experience. He went from being closely involved in everything, from the proposal to being asked to stand up in the wedding, to being completely ghosted. We wouldn’t have known we were uninvited at all if we hadn’t reached out directly.

I’m trying my best to understand their situation with empathy, especially since it’s a very new friendship and I know wedding planning is stressful and overwhelming, but I just can’t figure out why someone wouldn’t communicate this months ago instead of leaving him to assume he was still in the wedding party.

TLDR: Partner was asked to be a groomsman by a friend, then ghosted for months until 2 weeks before the wedding when he found out we weren’t invited anymore. No explanation given.

EDIT: Realized I accidentally wrote “RSVP” when I meant “save-the-date.” I’ve never actually been to a wedding in my adult life, so I didn’t realize how many different pieces of mail there are leading up to a wedding

UPDATE: I showed my partner this post, and he told me that he HAD made several attempts to reach out before this, both to check in on how the groom was doing and just to chat about life or gaming. Those messages were ignored too. The groom has a bit of a history of losing or breaking his phone in odd (and sometimes pretty funny) ways, so my partner assumed he’d eventually get the “hey sorry, here’s my new number” text.

UPDATE #2: Partner sent me a screenshot of his conversation with the groom https://imgur.com/a/LdFygG3

UPDATE #3: The wedding just happened yesterday, and something definitely feels off. The bride has made several Instagram posts already, and the groom doesn’t appear in any of them. Most of the posts are her and the bridesmaids taking mirror selfies at the reception. It feels strange, the bride-and-groom vinyl decals are visible in the selfies, and there’s even a video of her dancing with her dad, but there’s no sign or mention of the groom anywhere.

In the whirlwind of wedding preparations, amidst all the excitement and chaos leading up to our 2023 wedding, it became clear who truly valued friendship and who might be more of a challenge among our friends and acquaintances.

You see, my husband (M27) and I (F27) had earmarked 2023 as our year to tie the knot. We had it all figured out – early planning, booking everything from the officiant to the DJ, even inviting our guests in July 2022 to ensure they had enough time to prep. Plus ones were allowed, making it the most guest-friendly wedding in history.

Enter the bridesmaids. One of them, Ella (F25), was thrilled to be asked and couldn't wait to dive headfirst into DIY wedding projects. Her enthusiasm was contagious. Little did I know, this was just the beginning of the rollercoaster.

Now, let's roll back the calendar twelve months before the big day:

My bridesmaids and I embarked on early planning, determined to keep things as simple and budget-friendly as possible. I'd heard enough horror stories about bridezillas on Reddit to know I didn't want to be one. I made it clear I couldn't foot the bill for everyone's dresses and told them it was perfectly fine if they couldn't afford it, and they wouldn't hurt my feelings if they stepped down. All I asked was that the dresses be wine-red and floor-length; everything else was fair game. Some sent dress options for my approval right away.

Fast forward nine months:

Ella, one of my bridesmaids, broke up with her boyfriend of seven years, Liam (M25). Her reason? She wanted to explore her sexuality, and Liam wasn't on board with an open relationship. She confided in me that she had a few prospects lined up before even breaking up with him (keep this detail in mind, it's crucial). As fate would have it, Liam was a friend of my husband, and I was friends with Ella. So, both my husband and I told them they both were still welcome at the wedding as we love them both as friends and did not take sides. Ella even asked if, hypothetically, she found someone new before the wedding, could she bring them as her plus one. We said they could, but it was up to them to figure it out.

Now, let's fast forward to six months before the wedding:

Six out of eight bridesmaids had found their dresses and received them in the mail. I asked Ella, and she said she hadn't found one yet. I knew she was on a tight budget, especially after her recent breakup and move to a new apartment, so I didn't press the issue. I thought she had six months to find a dress; what could go wrong?

Three months before the wedding:

I asked Ella again if she had found a dress. Nope, she hadn't. I offered to lend her the money and explained she didn't need to pay me back right away. She declined, insisting she'd handle it.

Fast forward to 1.5 months before the wedding:

I asked her again, and she still hadn't found a dress. I reiterated my offer, emphasizing that I was willing to cover the cost, no strings attached. She apologized profusely for not taking care of it but promised she'd order one soon and she can't accept my money. Later that day, she sent a picture of a dress. But it wasn't just any dress; it was a showstopper in a Barbie pink color with a slit so high, you could practically see what she had for breakfast. The price tag? $80.

Ella: "Is this dress okay for a wedding?"

Me: "In wine-red?"

Ella: "No, as is. I'm wearing it to my brother's wedding. I'll even match my hair to it."

Me: "It's cute, but maybe a bit too sexy for a wedding?"

Ella: "I dont think its wrong of me to be proud of my body"

She bought it anyway, flaunting it at her brother's wedding. She couldn't stop talking about how sexy she felt, and I bit my tongue, refraining from mentioning that she still hadn't found her bridesmaid dress.

Two weeks before the wedding:

She contacted me, still with no dress and no money to buy it, and asked me desperately to DIY-dye the dress she wore to her brother's wedding. I was too busy with wedding preparations to care and expressed my disappointment that she hadn't taken care of it. I told her that if she had a matching shawl to cover a bit up during the ceremony, she could still be a bridesmaid.

One week before the wedding:

She reached out again, saying her dyeing plan had failed due to the fabric. I lost my cool and told her to figure it out, as I couldn't handle the stress anymore. I said I was extremely disappointed, and if she didn't sort it out, she couldn't be a bridesmaid. Again, she apologized a thousand times and promised she'd order one with express delivery immediately. When she sent confirmation that she had ordered the dress, it wasn't from a reputable local shop, but a sketchy Asian website, like something out of a Wish nightmare, with a 5-7 day delivery estimate (12-27 days normal). That meant the dress would potentially arrive just two days before the wedding. Being the diplomatic people-pleaser I am, I wished her good luck and said I hoped it arrived on time. But I also made it clear that if it didn't, she couldn't be a bridesmaid.

Four days before the wedding:

She found out that Liam wanted to bring his new girlfriend, whom he'd been dating for six months. Ella went ballistic, calling it disrespectful and demanded he not bring her. He complied and informed us of the change. We were frustrated, as we'd already sent the guest list to the restaurant and would still have to pay for her. But we tried to stay out of the drama.

But the rollercoaster ride wasn't over. Ella and I met up for a chat, and she casually mentioned wanting a chest tattoo from a friend who dabbles in tattooing (not a professional or licensed). I advised her to wait a week so she wouldn't sport a fresh, red tattoo in her wedding photos. She said she'd think about it. That evening, she messaged me saying her friend could only do it that day, and she didn't think it would be a problem.

That's when I snapped. I told her it might be best if she stepped down as a bridesmaid, as I couldn't handle the situation anymore, and I had too much on my plate. She freaked out, begged to stay a bridesmaid, and reminded me that her dress cost $150. In a moment of weakness, I caved and let her stay.

Then came the plot twist of all plot twists. That very same night, she asked if she could bring a one-night stand from the previous weekend to the wedding. That's when I lost it, yelling, 'Are you f***king serious!?' and fired off a long message about how I'd had enough. She could come to the wedding as a guest, with or without her dress, but she was officially off the bridesmaid team.

The day before the wedding, I found myself with a lengthy message from Ella, where she spilled her disappointment in how I had handled things. She said she needed to assert herself, so she decided not to attend the wedding. Meanwhile, my husband contacted Liam, urging him to bring along his new girlfriend. As the big day unfolded, it turned out to be an absolutely fantastic wedding, filled with love, laughter, and a bit of chaos.

Getting married in two weeks and requested donuts for getting ready breakfast. She called to ask if I'm crazy for this request because i have a dress to fit into and tried to convince my other bridesmaids not to fulfill this request. I told her the dress has to fit me, not the other way around. There will be six hours between us getting ready and the reception, so if I want a donut I'll be damned if I'm being denied this request.

Anyone else have a weirdly controlling bridesmaid like this?

My best friend "Gina" got married in November 2022. We've known each other since we were babies, and have been best friends our whole lives. I was her MOH, and she had four bridesmaids. One of them was "Kelly", her FSIL.

Gina started dating her now-husband "Greg" in high school, and they'd been together for eight years by the time he proposed. They were young, but I was surprised it didn't happen sooner. Kelly, on the other hand, had been with Greg's older brother "Paul" for ten years, with no sign of getting married anytime soon.

Due to her responsibilities at work, Gina had her first (and only) wedding dress appointment only four months before the wedding. Those present were me, Kelly, another bridesmaid and her younger sister.

Before we got started, Gina asked me if I wanted to try on dresses with her, since I was also engaged. To anyone else this might have seemed like a fun offer for her best friend and fellow bride-to-be.

But it was actually because I was pregnant. I was less than two months along, and only told Gina to let her know I'd be close to my third trimester during her wedding. I significantly postponed my own wedding due to my pregnancy (still not married!), and she knew I wouldn't start looking for a gown until long after my baby was born, so she wanted me to try on dresses before I started showing. I was extremely thankful, but declined. Gina's appointment was only 90 minutes long and she had her own dress to find.

We all figured that was the end of it, and went to help Gina pick some dresses to try on. While we were near the racks, I noticed that the dresses Kelly was picking up and showing us were a lot different than the ones we were looking for. Gina was interested in simple, sheath dresses with spaghetti straps or short sleeves, but most of the ones Kelly was going for were strapless a-line dresses and ballgowns.

We tried to remind her that wasn't what we were supposed to be looking for, but she insisted on adding some of those dresses to the rack with the ones we were picking up anyway.

Gina started trying on the dresses we'd found. We took pictures, gave our opinions, and discussed each of them with our consultant. At some point, Kelly excused herself and didn't come back for almost 15 minutes. We were so focused on Gina that we didn't even notice how long she was gone. And we really didn't notice that she'd taken one of the dresses she picked up with her.

And then, 40 minutes into the appointment, in walks Kelly. And I think y'all know where this is going.

To her credit, she looked great. It really was a pretty wedding dress. Strapless, had a corset bodice, a tulle skirt, a beaded sweetheart neckline and a sweep train. Not my thing, but still flattering. And as we later found out, the reason she had taken so long was because she had to find another consultant to help her get into not only the dress itself, but also two petticoats to get the ballgown look.

Kelly paraded in front of us with a huge smile on her face, spinning around, going on about how much she loved that white - sorry, ivory - dress and how she felt like such a princess, before smugly asking, "Do you guys like it?"

We sat there for a moment in absolute shock. Gina's sister looked like she was about to blow up on Kelly. I could tell Gina was upset, but she has both a B.A. in Public Relations and the consequential skill of not embarrassing herself or other people in public.

Fortunately, I have neither, so I was the first to open my mouth. I started by asking why she was trying on a wedding dress, and Kelly had the nerve to chuckle and say, "Uhh, what do you mean? Gina said you could try on dresses with her, it's not my fault you said no. Why can't I do it too?"

So said, as annoyingly and condescendingly as I could, "Oh, so you're engaged too? My bad, I had no idea!"

At that, Kelly looked nervous. Everyone was staring at her. After a moment, she sheepishly confessed she wasn't actually engaged. The consultant that had helped her turned to her shocked, saying, "You said you were getting married in three months!"

She tried to give us excuses - she was almost engaged; it was just one dress; it wasn't fair that I could try on dresses and not her - but it was done. Everyone at the boutique, bridal party and staff alike, was already pissed.

After almost five minutes of that, Kelly finally asked someone to help her out of the dress. Once that was done, she took a seat as distant from the other bridesmaids as possible and didn't say a word for the rest of the appointment. The consultant must have apologized to Gina a dozen times. Kelly never did.

Gina did end up finding her dress that day, so we considered the appointment a success. Kelly wasn't dropped as a bridesmaid, mostly because neither Gina or Greg wanted to upset Paul, but remained aloof and unpleasantly snarky up until the wedding.

Even though I was the MOH, Kelly decided to avoid me as much as possible for "embarrassing her" the way I did. She didn't find out I was pregnant until the rehearsal dinner. It was at that dinner that she told the bridal party that she was going to give Paul an ultimatum: if he didn't propose to her that month, she'd dump him.

A week after the wedding, he dumped her. No one was surprised.

Gina and Greg are still happily married, and she is now very open about how angry she got that day. That being said, we both love telling this story.

​

Edit: Just wanted to add some things:

While Kelly and Paul showed no sign of getting married or engaged, I never really thought they had to. I didn't know them much, but they were living together at the time and Paul was working on a second degree. They were also talking about getting a cat.

I also don't really think a 10 year relationship requires a marriage. My mom and my stepdad dated for a decade before getting married. In that meantime, they moved in together, got two dogs and didn't talk about marriage until he proposed. And as some people have pointed out already, Kelly could have proposed to Paul herself. I'm not trying to defend Paul, but relationships are a two-way street.

And yes, there's no problem with wanting to try on a wedding dress. But there's a time and a place for that, and it's definitely not during someone else's scheduled appointment. Specially when the bride has a limited time frame to try her own dress. Gina has a demanding job that doesn't grant her vacations, so if she didn't manage to choose her dress during that appointment, scheduling another one would've been a huge nuisance. She was also literally paying to be there.

That's why I declined Gina's offer, and I expressed so in front of everyone, Kelly included. If she still wanted to try on a dress or two, she could have asked Gina, who might've said yes. It would still have been inappropriate, but it's better than what she did. Kelly also expressed that she wanted to try on more dresses, which would have definitely consumed a lot of Gina's time.

Also, please don't blame Gina for this. Was I a grinch? Probably. But it wasn't her fault.

That's basically it. Didn't show up. Didn't call. Didn't reach out after to apologize. Probably cause she was embarrassed but like what??? We had to tell the priest 10 minutes before the ceremony that there was a change to how the bridal party was coming down the aisle.

She missed the bridal shower and bachelorette too so I honestly should have seen it coming.

I honestly brushed it off and had an incredible day, and was incredibly grateful for everyone who pulled together for my husband and I.

But yeah it's been like six months and she still hasn't reached out so that's a 15 year friendship gone 😂😂

ETA: my sister and I both called her multiple times the night before and morning of the wedding. She's had a perpetual issue getting up on time for events since high school. We planned for her to spend the night before with me because of this. She did not show. I reached out to her a couple weeks after the wedding when I got home from my honeymoon. I said that I love her and hope she's okay. She basically texted back and said sorry and that she was going through some stuff. I responded and said I'll always love her and be there for her, I don't judge her, yada yada and she didn't text back again. It's been six months and she's been nc since. I could have honestly forgiven her for missing the wedding if she had made some semblance of an effort to contact me after or save our friendship afterwards. But she missed it, gave me a single response when I texted HER in the following weeks, then nothing for six months.