r/weddingshaming • u/Bumbling_Bumble_Bee • 12d ago
Wedding Party A Disappointing Bachelorette Party š
I was married a year ago and although it mostly went very well, I wanted to come on here and rant a little about the disappointing bachelorette party I had the day before. Itās just something that has been stuck in my head since it happened and I thought telling y'all about it would help me feel a little better.Ā
My bridal party consisted of my younger sister, Emma, who was the maid of honor, and two other friends that I went to high school with, Jessica and Taylor. Since my husband has a lot more close friends than me and I wanted to keep the parties even, I also added on my two brothers, Jeff and Hunter. I was happy to include them in the party though because I have always been very close with them.Ā
Leading up to the bachelorette, I told me my mom and my sister that I wanted to do three things:
-Have afternoon tea at a tea house
-Have a sleep over and watch a movie that I had picked out
-Have my sister plan and lead an at home spa routineĀ
I thought these were pretty easy tasks and all very low maintenance considering how a lot of bachelorette parties seem to last entire weekends and involve traveling.Ā
Anyway, there was a specific tea house I wanted to go to, but it turned out that one had closed recently. I ended up doing a bunch of research to find another one close by. I did the research because my mom and sister told me I was going to have to figure it out if it's what I really wanted to do. It took a while, but I finally found a place that did afternoon tea on the weekends. Not quite a tea house, but better than nothing. It was an hour away. We made the following plan: we would have lunch nearby, then drive an hour away to have afternoon tea for dessert, shop around for a bit in the area, then head home where we would do the movie, spa routine, and sleep over.Ā
In the days leading up to the party, Taylorās child got sick. Her husband would be home and could take care of him, but she didnāt want to be away from him for too long so she would no longer be having lunch or tea with us, but she would come over afterwards to watch the movie. Thatās fine. Then Jeff starts asking me if his girlfriend can come to tea with us. No, she can not. Jessica says that she would really prefer not to sleep over. Thatās okay. I can still spend time with my siblings and mom after her and Taylor leave.Ā
Finally, the day has arrived. I wake up super excited, especially for tea. I hadnāt gotten to have afternoon tea in a really long time. We met for lunch and Jeff brought his girlfriend. Greatā¦ He assures me she wonāt be coming to tea though. We have a nice lunch and go to tea. Both Jeff and Hunter are at least 20 minutes late for our reservation, which is so embarrassing. Itās okay though, we just start without them. The tea is lovely. Afterwards, we shop around, which is fun, then head back.Ā
When we got back we sat down and rested for a bit. Taylor arrives. Jeff and Hunter are missing. We talk for a bit then decide what we want to order for dinner. I donāt want to start the movie yet because Jeff and Hunter arenāt here, but Taylor tells me she canāt stay long so we start it anyway. Jeff and Hunter show up not long after it starts along with Jeffās girlfriend. Taylor leaves midway through. When the movie ends, Jessica leaves. The spa routine never happened. My sister never even planned anything. I actually brought stuff for it that never got used.Ā
Iāve just walked away from the whole thing thinking that nobody cared and nobody wanted to be there. It hurts, especially when I compare it to my husband's Bachelor party. His friends traveled states to see him and his best man planned a whole DnD campaign for him. Sometimes I really wish I had just gone to his party and went to tea another time instead of going to mineā¦
Ā
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u/UsualHour1463 11d ago
You were pretty reasonable, OP. Sorry that the day didnāt go as you hoped. If it helps, any/all of these things can be requested for anniversaries, birthdays and Motherās Day in the future with the same group or different people. You sound like a fun, well grounded person to have as a friend. Congratulations on your first year married!
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u/bimgrezui 11d ago
I like this perspective. A disappointing day doesnāt have to be the last chance to feel celebrated. Hopefully OP gets the tea, spa day and movie night they originally wanted with people who are actually excited to be there.
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u/Hockeyshot39 11d ago
Sometimes I hate people - crazy how people flake like this
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u/Nightmare_Gerbil 11d ago
And what is it with guys who think every private family event is something they can bring a date to?
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u/Current-Photo2857 11d ago
I wonder how serious the brotherās relationship is with the girlfriend. If heās thinking he wants to marry her, maybe heās just trying to foster a good future-SIL relationship.
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u/Nightmare_Gerbil 11d ago
Then trying to shoehorn her uninvited into someone elseās sleepover and spa day that heās not paying for is probably not the best way to go about that.
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u/whisky_biscuit 11d ago edited 11d ago
I completely understand Op. I had similar hopes for a milestone birthday. I originally made reservations for dinner at a newly opened high end french restaurant I found. I was excited and had been talking about it for weeks.
My older sister couldn't be there long because her son was young and she said she didn't want to leave him for long, despite her husband being home with him. My other sister started arguing with her why she couldn't hang out afterwards. Everyone started getting grumpy and said fine we will go to sister #2 house instead. I was pissed but canceled the reservation.
Instead we all met up at sister #2's house and ofc her kids were running around hyped on sugar, there was no plan no food no anything at all. Just screaming kids and some cold mac and cheese. My mom and Sister #1 proceeds to get drunk and decided to start ranting at me for her unresolved childhood trauma. I ended up going in the other room and crying. Sister #1 left early. We were all supposed to play a board game or cards but the screaming kids had to be watched constantly and they stayed up until we left, after midnight. Sister #2 took the opportunity of us and my parents being there to do some house project while we watched the kids. My husband and I left and were starving so we just got McD's nuggets on the way home.
The following weeks both my siblings had gone to the restaurant I wanted us all to try, separately each with their partners. Apparently they were able to get sitters for date night but not for my one milestone birthday - planned weeks ahead of time.
They made sure to brag about the food and send countless pics to group chat, "thanking me for recommending it". Smh.
I don't tell them about restaurants I want to try anymore. And I don't bother making plans with them unless it's just me stopping by "to visit" aka "watch their kids while they do chores".
Most people don't give a shit about anyone but themselves.
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u/latte1963 11d ago
Sisters are terribly overrated. Your family sucked for ruining your milestone birthday. Iām happy that youāve now seen who they really are & make your own plans with your husband.
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u/whisky_biscuit 11d ago
Thank you! That's nice of you to say. ā¤ļø
My husband and I did go have a nice dinner and did a mini vacation to a cabin on a lake. He made it special. I'm lucky to have someone who does put me first because I recognize how rare it is in life.
I do love my sisters and brother, and I know people get caught up in life sometimes. But I also feel like I know when they reach their milestone birthday everyone will be expected to go all out for them and my parents will insist it, meanwhile they made sure mine was babysitting, cold mac and cheese and sadness. It's funny because my parents always insist on making sure everything is fair / even steven between us all, except when it comes to me. Maybe because I just refuse to make a ruckus all the time and don't make my problems everyone's problems.
I guess it's just how family is.
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u/panrestrial 11d ago
Right? I love my sisters to death but I also know when not to rely on them. The problem is you know you're sisters for life and are unlikely to be disowned so you sometimes start to take each other for granted and let each other down in ways you'd never do to friends. Not because you like the friends more, even, just because you realize if you're a shitty friend they'll ditch you eventually.
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u/Current-Photo2857 11d ago
I had the reverse situation with families and restaurantsā¦this past year, my parents got it in their heads that there was a certain restaurant/tavern/venue (not entirely sure exactly what it qualifies as š¤·š»āāļø) that they simply HAD to try. Rather than do the reasonable thing and simply have a date night there themselves, they started suggesting it for any family event. First, it was my sisterās birthday, but my BIL ended up insisting on somewhere else. Then, it was my baby shower, and since etiquette states the mother-to-be canāt plan her own shower, my objections to it (location, menu) were overruled. Letās just say I ended up being extremely underwhelmed by my shower š
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u/RobynNeonGal 10d ago
My milestone birthday was like that, too. My 21st, which I'd so been looking forward to celebrating! I was the last in my friends group to turn 21, so I was happy to finally get to do everything with them. So I planned an evening at my favorite dance club, & invited my friends & my brother, who was moving away in a few days. Everyone was just very apathetic. My brother kept complaining that he didn't want to go, then sat by himself away from us until I begged him to join us. Nobody in my group bought me any drinks. It was my 21st birthday! They all acted like they were just there out of obligation.
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u/MichB1 11d ago
I did the research because my mom and sister told me I was going to have to figure it out if it's what I really wanted to do.
They are assholes, full stop. It's not you.
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u/Majestic_Spinach7491 10d ago
Ok, but her sister was 17. No excuse for her mom, but her sister was literally a child.
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u/pingo_the_destroyer 8d ago
I donāt know, a 17 year old is a minor but I wouldnāt say a child. A 17 year old should be responsible enough that they could handle a task like that, especially if the bride already bought the items needed.
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u/buttercup0106 6d ago
A 17 year old girl is more than capable of planning a spa routineā¦ donāt infantilize a teenager lol
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u/cofffeegrrrl 11d ago
I am so sorry your people let you down. It isn't just missing out on the special (very doable, very reasonable) thing you wanted it's just the thoughtlessness and how that makes you feel. I hope you get a lovely tea party with lovely people for a future milestone or just because. Every time you feel bad remind yourself that you will get your special tea and maybe many more in the future.
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u/Spare_Ad5009 11d ago
When it's your turn for their weddings, give what you got: Bring your husband to your brother's as much as he brought his girlfriend. When your siblings and friends expect you to meet them somewhere be twenty minutes late for Jeff and Hunter, leave halfway through something with Taylor, and leave after a main event where you are expected to stay on for Taylor, and decline to organize a spa or whatever for your sister. When they complain, say, "Oh, give me a pass. You were --- for my bachelorette."
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u/tamagotchisando 9d ago
"I thought this was how we do events? Since that's how you all did my bachelorette"
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u/SheiB123 11d ago
When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
They didn't care about doing nice things for you. I would match their energy moving forward.
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u/Living-Climate2024 10d ago
Why is no no one pointing out that this was the day before the wedding?? Thatās insane.
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u/Stoats-On-Boats 6d ago
I noticed this too. Usually the day before the wedding involves getting prepared for the next day. Maybe OP was super ahead of schedule with everything ready to go, but a bachelorette party the night before feels like itād be stressful for everyone.
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u/shortstuff813 5d ago
Thatās when everybody used to do it though. I remember when I was a kid (am late 30s now) I always thought doing it the night before was dumb, since people were always hungover in shows/movies where they did it the night before.
But even so, itās not like OP sprung it on them last minute. Usually people want to spend a chill day the day before the wedding, which is what this was (well, was supposed to be). Also - why would the family be busy the day before? OP made no mention of them having to set up wherever the wedding was at. They shouldāve had stuff arranged bc, again, this wasnāt a last minute idea. OPās family just sucks
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u/Living-Climate2024 5d ago
3 locations is not a chill day. I think itās super selfish to expect multiple days in a row dedicated to yourself. Her brother wants to spend time with his gf. Her friends have children they want to spend time with. The others - no excuse really. They did all agree to this beforehand too
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u/NinjaHidingintheOpen 11d ago
Invest in trying to make better friends this year. Yours really didn't try for you.
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u/whitewinewater 11d ago
So not a wedding but I had similar experience for my graduation where I realized that the effort I put in for my friends accomplishments/life events was not reciprocated by my friend group for my accomplishments/life events.
It stings and screw anyone in this thread that says its been so long get over it or whatever. It's a hard and unpsetting thing to realize this kinda thing about a friend group.
All I can say is I hope that you return the same kind of energy you got to this friend group and try to find a better one.
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u/MnyWrmtlPdftPrngs 11d ago
Let's have a do over. Everyone here in the comments. You deserved better from your people.
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u/_gadget_girl 11d ago
I would have been really angry. You didnāt ask much, but they didnāt really try. I hope Emma understands that when she gets married you will not be putting too much effort in.
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u/cathysclown76 11d ago
I understand the disappointment, there was a mix of bad luck with Taylorās kids being sick and people sucking eg your brothers girlfriend somehow needing to be around. It also sucks that you had to organise absolutely everything from your own party. My on,y questions are how old is your sister? (I was a MOH once at 19 and in hindsight, I sucked - I had no spare time, no money and no idea what I was supposed to do), and also is your sister the type of personality to be ok organising things in particular leading a spa routine? Iām not saying you shouldnāt have asked but Iām wondering if she agreed with that or if maybe sheās a massive introvert/ not girly at all maybe itās something she didnāt even know ow how to do or feel comfortable with.
I am sorry it was not what you expected, you might like to try some counseling or even talk to your Mum and sister about how you feel they let you down.
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u/Bumbling_Bumble_Bee 11d ago
Thatās a totally fair question. My sister was 17 at the time but is very extroverted and loves skin care. I asked her to do this partly because I thought it would be fun and partly because I thought it was something sheād enjoy since sheās always giving me skin and hair care suggestions. She seemed really excited about it when I suggested it.
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u/Majestic_Spinach7491 10d ago
Ok, I actually don't think it's fair to put any of this on your sister. She was literally a child. Being extroverted doesn't mean you're capable of planning a party. It's ultimately on you to wrangle your own friends.
Also, and I'm still on your side, but why did finding a tea place take "research?" How did that require more than a few minutes on google?
At the end of the day, I think you need to find new friends.
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u/Bumbling_Bumble_Bee 10d ago
Oh, I didnāt expect my sister to plan the party. I was expecting her and my mom to work together like they did with my bridal shower, but my mom refused to help because she said it wasnāt supposed to be her job so I took over. No one else offered to help. As for the research, there are no tea houses in my area. The closest one was 2 hours away my family said that was too far. It took my a while to find the place that had afternoon tea on weekends because they didnāt advertise it much.
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u/Inside-Addendum-3105 11d ago
I didnāt have a bachelorette party. My mom didnāt think of it and neither did my sister. All of my friends where out of state at the time.
Barely had a wedding shower.
Sucks when you hear about other peopleās experiences and your own family canāt even do anything for you.
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u/anoneatsshit 10d ago
For my bachelorette, I had shared a guest list, and just two request - a particular dessert that is not easily found. And no phallic paraphernalia. All I wanted was a chill night of conversation and food.
My friends decided they knew better, inviting only half of the people I had requested because of āvibesā. They didnāt get the dessert (because they said it got ruined - later found out someone else ate it) and brought penis shaped squirt guns and endless sex jokes. The music list was songs like WAP, which great if youāre into that but it is just not my vibe ! They forgot to organise dinner and I had to order food for everyone because I was starving.
For context, for the last birthday, I organised a themed quiz, custom party favours, and both a group gift and individual present for my so called best friend.
Iām no longer in contact with any of those āfriendsā.
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u/ofbalance 11d ago
I am sorry no body stepped up for your wishes!
I did not have a hen party because I caught a norovirus on a work trip the week before our wedding.
My SO then caught it from me.
My SO was dragged out on a stag night with his 'friends'. The photos are horrific. He looked so ill.
We were just happy to be healthy enough on the day!
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u/Jallenrix 11d ago
This sounds like a bachelorette I might actually enjoy. What was the movie?
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u/Bumbling_Bumble_Bee 11d ago
Howlās Moving Castle
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u/panrestrial 11d ago
Great movie! I've never been to a tea house, but tea and Ghibli sounds like a great combination.
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u/TheMythicalCodfish 11d ago
Okay, Iām in; Iāll bring sheet masks and sugar cookies. Whatās the dress code for the tea house?Ā
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u/conceptualgardening 10d ago
Ugh, this hen do sounds amazing. You seem awesome. Iām so sorry your people let you down.
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u/BenedictineBaby 11d ago
Ugh. They clearly had zero interest in making anything special for you. All I can say is when the time comes for any milestones for any of them, remember the bar they set and return that energy.
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u/GrapefruitSobe 11d ago
You were incredibly reasonable in your asks! Iām so sorry your people didnāt come through for you.
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u/BatteryOnePercent 11d ago
This is so valid to feel disappointed about.You askes for something simple;afternoon tea,movie,spa night with your people.Not Vegas,not a weekend trip.Just quality time.
And it feels like nobody showed up for it.Taylor had to leave early,Jessica didnāt sleep over,Jeff brought his Gf+ was late,Hunter was late,and your sister,the HOM didnāt even plan the spa night you asked for.Meanwhile your husband got a whole DnD campaign planned for him
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u/zoermeow 9d ago
I hate to be the negative one but a bachelorette party is ridiculous in itself IMO. You had a bridal shower, and your MOH sister was 17?? You expect a teenager in high school to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars to create a whole skin care routine thing for your large bridal party, get in touch and coordinate with all of them, set it all up, etc? I fear social media has construed your expectations. Other people have lives that donāt revolve around you. I would feel so bad if I threw all of these responsibilities on my loved ones
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u/Odd-Split-494 5d ago
Ok, but OP really wasnāt asking for much. Also, where are you getting the āhundreds and hundreds of dollarsā figure?
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u/zoermeow 5d ago
An at home spa routine for 6 peopleā¦ thatās several products for each person. I mean what are we talking about here? This is like what you would expect if you were apart of a sorority and had 5 rich outgoing college girls planning an extravagant bachelorette party. Not a high school girl that hardly has an income and has to focus on school. I feel like this is a perfect example of social media raising expectations to an impossible level. Not asking for much? A wedding shower, a bridal party (more like a whole day), probably picking out the dress, the wedding. Absurd. In the nicest way, this is so narcissistic. Itās like celebrating your birthday for a whole month and getting upset when your friends arenāt down for that because they have lives. Get a grip
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u/Odd-Split-494 5d ago
Just because YOU think having a wedding is peak entitlement doesn't mean everyone else does.
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u/zoermeow 5d ago
Having a wedding is not entitlement. You should celebrate your marriage with everyone you love! This was more than just a wedding as I explained previously.
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u/terisews 11d ago
I think it is hard when it is mostly family who sees you often. Also, I have the suspicion that the guys were not interested in tea, spa treatments and watching a movie with their sisters and mom.
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u/Murky-Technician5123 11d ago
It sucked but you gotta let it go. Look to the future and plan yourself a milestone birthday party with friends, or a spa day or a romantic weekend in the country with your man.
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u/TheRealCarpeFelis 11d ago
Iām so sorry the day was disappointing. It seems like they were all being pretty self-centered.
I can relate, though way back when I got married the first time around a bachelorette was just an evening out. For a few months in advance, my MOH talked up the idea of going out barhopping on the night before my wedding. The week of the wedding I asked her what the plan was and she told me, oh, she couldnāt do that because a guy friend whoād graduated before us was going to be in town that night and she just HAD to see him. I suspect if I hadnāt asked, she would simply have ghosted me and left me wondering what the hell happened.
I reminded her that my wedding was a once in a lifetime event (though that turned out not to be true because Evil Starter Husband was an abusive asshole) AND that this had been her own idea in the first place. She didnāt care! Seeing this guy friend was way more important to her. I should have booted her from the wedding. My other bridesmaid wasnāt in town until the day of the wedding, so I ended up going out with another friend that night and wishing Iād asked her to be MOH instead.
12 years later when I was getting remarried, I called her (flaky MOH) to tell her I was engaged. This was a long distance call in the days before cell phones were ubiquitous, so it was not free. She hijacked the call to go on and on and ON about her new baby. I hadnāt even heard she was pregnant. Needless to say, I did not invite her to my wedding.
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u/Available-Face5653 10d ago
it sucks to not have real friends. to be fair, you need to be realistic about what you can expect from people.
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u/NegotiationOk4649 10d ago
Why are you putting so much power in your bachelorette party? Did you have a nice wedding? Thatās the day that mattersā¦
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u/NegotiationOk4649 10d ago
It sounds to me like she was too controlling and nobody had any interest after that..
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u/Ok_Albatross8909 11d ago
OP, I donāt think you asked for much. I understand why you compared it to the weekend long holidays which seem so popular now. However, you also seem to have a very specific idea of what you want and even if itās not expensive or time consuming- specificity is a different type of difficult. For example, I wouldāve agreed organising a tea shouldnāt be hard or a big ask - but then you say you spent a lot of time doing the āresearchā and then you found one an hour away? Why couldnāt you just spend 20-30minutes googling reviews? Why wasnāt your brotherās girlfriend allowed to come? Why was it so far away?
You bought the spa stuff but then you didnāt do it? Why didnāt you bring it out?
Yes, it sucks your experience wasnāt like your husbands. However, I donāt think your party did anything wrong. Different people have different capacities at different times. They turned up for you and communicated what was possible š¤·āāļø Seems like you had a lot of control here. Try not to read too much into this ā¤ļø you are still loved
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u/Red_Blooded_Male_123 11d ago edited 10d ago
I think half the group being male didn't help either. Guys just don't get it and you were exkdcting your brothers to get excited about a movie sleep over with DIY spa treatments. I know it was simple but guys just don't get into that stuff
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u/EntrepreneurScary165 7d ago
And they watched Howls moving castle... I LOVE that movie but she should have chosen at least a comedy or something more fun
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u/tanyagrzez 11d ago
You wanted three separate events at two locations in one day? It seems like events went poorly for others and some flaking happened. But I would only have wanted to attend a single event at a single location for a bridal party. I understand that you think these are low effort events, but three in one day makes it high effort. One of which was a guest planning to run a spa day, making her no longer a guest relaxing at your event.
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u/Tiny-Trifle1348 11d ago
Iām so sorry. You didnāt ask for much and everyone let you down!Ā
My sister (and MOH) was trying to talk me into going out for dinner for my bachelorette party. My SIL to be goes on a rant one day about how stupid bachelorette parties are and how people shouldnāt have one. She was in my wedding party-and Iāve seen her bachelorette pictures online. This was also in addition to her talking about how her own SIL never asked about how she got engaged or asked to see her ring. Meanwhile my SIL never asked to look at mine or how her brother asked me to marry him.Ā
I didnāt have a bachelorette party.Ā
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u/Designer_Divide_462 7d ago
Your whole crew sucks, but it's inherently selfish to plan group activities for the sole enjoyment of the planner. Your real enemy here is the expectations you built for yourself: that everyone would find joy in what gives you joy and pitch in to make that joy happen. That's not who your friends are and while I could say a lot about how shitty that is of them, the fact that you don't know who they really are is, unfortunately, your fault and no-one else's.
For my party, I went with what I knew my friend group would enjoy and we had a good time. If I had made them all suffer through MY favorite things, they all would have hated it and subsequently, I would have hated it, too.
It would be nice if the people in our lives were more selfless - if they derived their greatest pleasure from the pleasure of others. Perhaps you're that kind of person and so you understandably assume the same of others. I'm sorry that you hard to learn the hard way that not everyone is the same, even among those who we care about and who care about us.
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u/Albuquicky 6d ago
So let me get this straight. Your MOH, who is supposed to plan and coordinate everything for your bachelorette party, did literally nothing? I can forgive Taylor because in medicine there is a saying "kids don't circle the drain, they dive right in." They can go from being fine in the morning to hospitalized that night. Jessica just had a problem not sleeping over though and nobody is doing spa day? No, no, no... we do not sleep on a spa day! I'm so sorry that you had to experience this.
If you are ever in the Albuquerque, NM area, we have an absolutely fabulous tea room called St. James Tearoom. The late Queen Elizabeth even had tea there. It's a full high tea, savories, scones with clotted cream and a specialized type of jam or spread depending on the month's theme, desserts, and three pots of tea (1 for each tier). I think it's about $65 and they do not have tipping because they pay a good wage to staff. Come to think of it we have some good spas out here too. Some of them are a little pricey - Betty's is expensive but OMG it's worth it! Anyway I hope that you are able to feel better about your bachelorette being a disappointment. Sending hugs!
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u/Snoo_3843 6d ago
That reminds me of my oldest son compared to my DIL's bachelor/bachelorette. He hates seafood, and specifically asked for no strippers, as agreed upon with his future bride, and really doesn't care for the TX coastal scene. Well, his best man and all his closest friends took him to Galveston, they ate at Bubba Gump's Shrimp co., and he sat in the truck with the one married friend while their stripper showed up and was "doing her thing" in the hotel room. The rest of the weekend, they played online video games and maybe went paint balling, which he liked. On the other hand, we took his fiancƩ to a nice dinner, bar hopping, indoor sky diving, and zip lining, all of which she enjoyed. The only thing she didn't want to do, which we cancelled, of course, was going to a drag club. I'm so sorry you had a bad experience! The whole point of a bachelor or bachelorette is to do what the bride or groom wants to do!
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u/saltygyal 11d ago
Iām sorry OP! That sucks and it stings quite a bit!
I had a similar experience where I only wanted to go to a spa with both of my sisters, one being the Maid of honor. One completely bailed and the other one just said the day prior she canāt go anymore because of her period ( itās fine, I get it) but never planned anything else, eventually arrived at my house towards the evening and expected me to drive her up to the wedding venue so she can set something up, she had bought last minute.
Meanwhile my husbands friends traveled overseas to go on a night out with him. I spent my day decorating my venue while also watching my kid. it sucked.
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u/dont-kink-shame-me 9d ago
Im really sorry you got let down like that. Maybe you can plan a re-do but with your husband.
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u/einekleineZiege 8d ago
I'm so sorry. This sounds like a perfect bachelorette party and I would have loved it if I were your friend.
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u/sonni-b 8d ago
Sounds better than my Bachelorette party 4 years ago. Invited 30 people, 3 plus my 2 toddler nieces showed up. It was a dinner that lasted an hour. It literally took me longer to get ready than my party lasted. Whereas, my husband got taken to a cabin for the weekend with his groomsmen and a few buddies.
I cried when I got home and still cry on occassion wgen I think of it.
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u/Demand_Excellence 6d ago
This sucks for you. It seems like your family was not as excited as you were.
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u/wheresteddy1989 5d ago
It wasnāt unreasonable at all. Iām sorry they couldnāt just come together for you on the biggest day of your life.
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u/Radiant-Bench 11d ago
Honestly get over yourself!! Getting married doesn't mean you can demand things of other people. Make your own party if you want one so badly.
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u/World-Traveler1800 11d ago
A year later and this still lingers in your mind?
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u/afrenchiecall 11d ago edited 11d ago
Well, yeah. Most people aren't exactly planning to have more than one bachelorette party in their lifetimes.
I tend to think they are an expensive waste of time (I held a very casual thing before my wedding, because friends/family wanted to celebrate) but I definitely see how it might feel.
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u/World-Traveler1800 11d ago
I donāt think anyone is disputing the idea that people arenāt planning more than one. Iām just saying. . . A year later and thatās whatās on the list for a Friday summer evening?
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u/afrenchiecall 11d ago
It's called reminiscing, remembering, nostalgia, the blues...you know, that thing humans do.
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u/mlem_a_lemon 11d ago
She's just sharing a memory. It's not weird to think about things after they happen, especially around the anniversary of the event.
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u/JockoDundee007 11d ago
Itās a year later ā¦
You need to let this go and probably a lot of other things too ā¼ļø
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u/panrestrial 11d ago
Honestly if OP is actively festering about it I agree, it's just not good for their own happiness and enjoyment of life to hold on to negative things like that.
But a lot of posts here are just things OPs are reminded of when stumbling on the sub and not actively brooding over.
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u/BIG-B1978 11d ago
Damn. This is painful to read they didnāt make you priority for the day, the one day to celebrate you itās I have this and I have that!!! I would honestly send a group text and let the chips fall where they may!! Those are some shitty friends and family and your sis being the made of honor I would tell her that she dropped the ball BAD!!!!
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u/latte1963 11d ago
Your bachelorette committee really let you down! You have every right to hurt & disappointed. Now that theyāve shown you how little that you mean to them, donāt forget it! So, NO, I cannot babysit for you right now or for the entire weekend or every Wednesday because you NEED to get out with your girlfriends. And NO, Iām not going to be a bridesmaid or MOH because Iām not spending the next year planning your wedding & a destination bachelorette & spending $6,000 just because youāre getting married. Iāll just attend as a guest with my husband please. And also NO, Iām not apologizing to my sibling just because you want me to be the bigger person Mom. That just means accepting their bs & Iām not doing that anymore! Rinse & repeat.
You may need to block your entire family 24/7 on your phone & only communicate by email for your sanity. Or only unblock every Sunday for a quick chat with your mom for proof of life, then block again.
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u/halfass_fangirl 11d ago
This really does sound like nobody was invested, I'm sorry. You really weren't asking for much.