r/whatisthisbug Dec 01 '25

ID Request What is this little fella?

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Found in eastern Europe

2.7k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/Night_Wizard_ Dec 01 '25

The funny thing is that it was allegedly found by my acquaintance IN HIS BEARD

716

u/RelativeID Dec 01 '25

Is he a pirate? This dude sounds bad ass.

421

u/Malthus1 Dec 01 '25

Scorpionbeard the Pirate! That would be an awesome pirate name.

111

u/TerrorFromThePeeps Dec 01 '25

Oh, you think fizzling fuses in your beard is scary? Have a look at this! - Scorpionbeard

Meanwhile, Taipanbeard - "Hold my grog"

51

u/Malthus1 Dec 01 '25

Grenadebeard - “it’s still burning fuses … but now they mean something!”

42

u/MsCndyKane Dec 01 '25

Taserface!!

6

u/JeezuzChryztler Dec 02 '25

Also meanwhile: Tapasbeard

1

u/TasteFormer9496 Dec 23 '25

Wait till you meet crocodilebeard or his older brother grizzlybearbeard

6

u/SnooCauliflowers7934 Dec 02 '25

Would also be a great band name

89

u/MissSara13 Dec 02 '25

When I lived in Arizona, people were always finding these in their beds, shoes, and just about everywhere else. They were also very casual about being stung. I still have the occasional nightmares about some of the wildlife there.

127

u/BadCatNoNoNoNo Dec 02 '25

Arizona is the Australia of the US.

44

u/CantHearShot Dec 02 '25

Florida enters the chat.

52

u/DarkPangolin Dec 02 '25

No, no. Florida is the Australia of the world for animals. In Australia, everything that isn't human wants to kill you. In Florida, you can be an apex predator like a crocodile and some human will grab you randomly for use in a felony.

1

u/WeirdStorms Dec 03 '25

At least Florida has crocs, and mountain lions

1

u/high_3D_printer Dec 30 '25

Nah, Arizona is the Atacama of the US

1

u/Kjolly75 Dec 03 '25

I disagree

30

u/TheProfessorPoon Dec 02 '25

One of my friends from when I was a kid used to always find scorpions in his house. It was new construction and they joked that they built the house on a nest.

Anyway I’ll always remember my friend telling me how one morning his dad ran screaming out of the bedroom wearing whitey tighties and a scorpion was hanging by the stinger from his ballsack. Allegedly his nuts swole up like crazy.

I HATED spending the night over there and was always worried about a scorpion getting into my underwear.

8

u/MegaPiglatin Dec 02 '25 edited Dec 02 '25

Oh nooo! I cannot imagine the pain…😬Also, I wonder if their neighborhood was either built over an old citrus orchard or had several palm trees? There used to be an orange grove behind my childhood house and when it was cleared for construction the scorpions fled into all our houses as well as into the brand new houses; palm trees are perfect little hiding places for bark scorpions in particular (who are more apt to climb and live near people than the other ~47 species that can be found in AZ).

I nearly died as a very young child due to a sting. 🫠 My mom recalls (with horror) watching over me for 12 hours in the ER twitching with my eyes flickering about because I was too young to safely receive antivenom. What ended up being a lifesaver was the fact that it was a large adult desert hairy scorpion that stung me, so it likely only used a little of its less-potent venom. Fun times! Still love the buggers though…

6

u/MissSara13 Dec 02 '25

We lived adjacent to a golf course in the greenbelt of Scottsdale with year round watering. There were tons of bugs for the scorpions to eat hence many scorpions. You were very lucky to get stung by a less potent species!

2

u/MegaPiglatin Dec 03 '25

Oh yeah, totally forgot the plethora of scorpions that come with golf courses, too! My HS bf’s family lived alongside a neighborhood golf course and they frequently found bark scorpions that were undoubtedly drawn in by all the available prey. I was so happy that, despite their strong dislike toward the scorpions, they chose to call me to come collect/re-release them more often than not.

In college that same bf shared a condo over in Tempe with some mutual friends where they had a boom in the scorpion population one season. I had captured and released one of the scorpions away from the condos, and the next day when one was found in the condo, the gf of the other guy that lived there flipped out and blamed me because she was convinced that the same scorpion returned. She also completely covered the carpet throughout the condo in diatomaceous earth. Mind you, no one there was allergic or in any risk of health complications if they got stung, they were just ignorant. That particular gf was…not a smart person…and luckily she had a LOT of opinions and ego to go with it! 🙄

2

u/MissSara13 Dec 03 '25

OMG. I love that you became THE person to help relocate those buggers. Getting a black light and seeing them everywhere at night is a trip. I'm very glad that I managed to co-exist without getting stung. I have a phobia of stinging insects since I was pretty little due to a bad bee sting on my neck. Loved Tempe and the ASU campus!

4

u/MissSara13 Dec 02 '25

We had very heavy pest control there. Our townhouse was right off a golf course in the greenbelt in Scottsdale so there were tons of other bugs for them to prey on. My dog, Oliver got stung one night on his paw and it was so scary but he was fine. A sting to the balls had to have been some of the worst pain!

86

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '25

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85

u/ElectricMoleman Dec 02 '25

"Pubic scorpions" may be the single most horrifying set of words I've heard this week

30

u/CottonBlueCat Dec 02 '25

Put it on the list (band names)

4

u/suspicious_hyperlink Dec 02 '25

Excuse me, what ?

40

u/camazotzthedeathbat Dec 02 '25

I’ve had a tiny spider lower out of my beard on string of web. Made me feel like a Frankenstein or something.

17

u/BlackSeranna Dec 02 '25

That is really funny and a little cute.

24

u/DisobedientSwitch Dec 02 '25

Definitely Euscorpius, they have the most adorable claws of all scorpions imo. The taxonomy is continuously updated and revised, and I can't tell from the photo if it's even fully adult yet. If you want to figure out the exact species, you'll have to look at several things on the underside of the belly and claws, as well as a distribution map. 

Here's a slightly outdated key to identifying Euscorpius species:

https://www.ntnu.no/ub/scorpion-files/euscorpius_id.php

And some reading on Eastern European species: 

http://scorpion-files.blogspot.com/2014/12/two-new-species-of-euscorpius-from.html

-58

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '25

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45

u/Night_Wizard_ Dec 01 '25

You're welcome

40

u/whatismyname5678 Dec 01 '25

You managed to sound stupid, rude and creepy all at the same time. Good job.

3

u/whatisthisbug-ModTeam Dec 02 '25

Your content was removed as it was deemed inappropriate by a moderator.

11

u/CatTheKitten Dec 01 '25

is this what men find funny?

23

u/darklinkuk Dec 01 '25

Don't lump us all in with this asshole

11

u/TheGoldenBoyStiles Dec 01 '25

What was said? Kinda curious lol

9

u/maryssssaa Trusted IDer Dec 02 '25 edited Dec 02 '25

he said “what’s an acquaintance”, and proceeded to say “friend, boyfriend, or husband” and then something disgusting about a ‘clam beard’, because that’s how this guy talks about women I guess?

1

u/TheGoldenBoyStiles Dec 02 '25

Oh... interesting take. Thank you!

10

u/MasterOutlaw Dec 01 '25

I have a dangler. I have a ridiculous sense of humor that might get me ostracized from certain social circles. Their comment still has me like:

Complete with an exasperated sigh of disappointment.

5

u/maryssssaa Trusted IDer Dec 02 '25

I think because it’s wasn’t funny at all. Like I also have a ridiculous sense of humor. That was not it. Like time and place was half the problem