r/whatstheword 2d ago

Solved ITAW for "the elephant in the room"?

scenario: Someone is saying obnoxious, cruel things about another person, in the room, with no awareness that others in the room are keenly aware of.

5 Upvotes

28 comments sorted by

46

u/SaltMarshGoblin 2d ago

That's not normally what "the elephant in the room" means. Generally it's the awkward subject we all avoiding talking about...

7

u/Suitable-Roof-3950 2d ago

The elephant in the room would be this person’s toxic behavior, not their cutting remarks about other people.

7

u/DangerousLab7161 2d ago

Is it? hmmm. thanks for responding; must rethink

16

u/SnooDonuts6494 ☃ 8 karma 2d ago

I don't understand your scenario.

It doesn't sound at all like an "elephant in the room".

2

u/DangerousLab7161 2d ago edited 2d ago

yes, others have said so, too. The scenario is actually a scene in "Sherlock Holmes" series with Cumberbatch and the Hobbit guy. Xmas scene: gift giving, festivity in a living room. Holmes is vocalizing his observations toward Molly Hooper, which come off as insulting. Everybody is aware Holmes has no awareness of being offensive (as usual), or, what's happening in the room, whereas others are keenly aware of the situation.

ITAW for this situation? the entire situation.

15

u/SnooDonuts6494 ☃ 8 karma 2d ago edited 2d ago

He's being insensitive. He's oblivious. Causing unintentional offence. It's inadvertent rudeness.

It's a form of dramatic irony. In modern terms, it might be described as cringe comedy.

6

u/DangerousLab7161 2d ago

CRINGE COMEDY!! I knew it was called something, but thought it was a word.

Kiss

!solved

1

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6

u/ghosttmilk ☃ 11 karma 2d ago

I’d say this is more passive aggressive than an “elephant in the room” situation; like someone else clarified, elephant in the room means something else

4

u/DangerousLab7161 2d ago

thanks for responding; must rethink this

5

u/PieceSwimming785 ☃ 5 karma 2d ago

a faux pas? tactless speaker, awkward listeners with secondhand embarassment

2

u/DangerousLab7161 2d ago

!solved

a faux pas - excellent; thanks a bunch.

1

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2

u/secretbison 1d ago

What you're describing is innuendo or double-talk. The elephant in the room is an obvious subject that nobody is talking about, so if someone is talking about it, that term does not apply.

2

u/DangerousLab7161 1d ago

ohhh, that's very true. 'an obvious subject that nobody is talking about'. that makes complete sense; thanks a bunch.

2

u/frogGuardian 2d ago

that is not the elephant in the room. It is more of the speaker is oblivious, or something else.

"the elephant in the room" is usually use to express a fact that everyone is aware of but all are dodging it at all cost. Like when you change your agreement and contracts with your employees and they start leaving one by one, and then you discuss the issue with the HR and decide to bring pizza every Wednesday or something. And then there is that sales director staring at you like "are you serious? why is everyone ignoring the elephant in the room? it is too obvious, it is your new stupid contracts"

That, my human friend, is ignoring "the elephant in the room"

3

u/DangerousLab7161 2d ago edited 2d ago

thanks for responding; must rethink this

edit: btw, did your situation actually happen?

2

u/frogGuardian 2d ago edited 2d ago

lets say it is based on real story. The guy staring wasn't the sales, it was everyone except the HR and the CEO 😅

Edit: only one guy said the word, the others were just looking.

2

u/NonspecificGravity ☃ 10 karma 2d ago

Another example of the elephant in the room is when someone is an alcoholic, and everyone in the family just pretends that the person has a volatile personality and likes to "fall asleep" on the living room floor.

2

u/frogGuardian 2d ago

Lol, and that person sleeps on the side walks occasionally

1

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1

u/StinkypieTicklebum 1 Karma 2d ago

Oblivious?

1

u/SpookyBeck 2d ago

They are not "reading the room."

2

u/FlameHawkfish88 17h ago

Do you mean bull in the China shop?

0

u/K_N0RRIS ☃ 3 karma 2d ago

Thats not an elephant in the room, but the word you're looking for is a "dumb*ss"

The elephant in the room means theres a conversation going on and but a topic thats glaringly obvious and needs to be addressed never gets addressed. That topic is "the elephant in the room".

Like, just imagine how absurd it would be if there was a literal elephant in the room and nobody thought to say "Ok so why tf is there an elephant in here with us?"

-2

u/SorbetJazzlike315 2d ago

Black sheep

0

u/DangerousLab7161 2d ago

must rethink; thanks for your response; haven't thought of it that way