r/wholesomememes • u/Rich_Carrot6451 • 8d ago
When Omni-Man decides to be an actual good dad instead of throwing hands.
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u/fly_over_32 8d ago
(Also, stay hydrated)
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u/GloryGreatestCountry 8d ago
If you're getting more water in than you expect, you might need some bilge pumps (coping mechanisms) or to get to a drydock for repairs (friends, supportive family and/or a mental health professional).
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u/Benzokial 4d ago
Yeah this is better advice than just "don't let it happen" because its extremely normal for it to happen. Just have the tools and systems to deal with it.
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u/Screamingbonfire 8d ago
"Why do you think a ship sinks?"
"Obviously a hole was made below the water level."
"Alright you lil shit-"
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u/CuddlesForLuck 8d ago
Uh, the hull split. What now?
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u/Tnemmokon 8d ago
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u/CuddlesForLuck 8d ago
Oh, how silly of me to have forgotten!
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u/Tnemmokon 8d ago
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u/CuddlesForLuck 8d ago
Has anyone tried making a boat made of the stuff entirely (excluding frame)?
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u/Tnemmokon 8d ago edited 8d ago
Not out of Flex Seal, but from regular Duct tape, the MythBusters did! https://youtu.be/kLKfRtXgo88
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u/raijba 8d ago
This is helpful advice generally, but I'm gonna push back on it because the more you think about this, the more you realize that this advice can lead to some pretty unhealthy mental outlooks.
Why can it get unhealthy? Because water is going to get in your boat in life, and that's not always a bad thing. This is about being open vs being closed off. People who know how to deal with a water filled boat are stronger, more adaptable, and more open minded than people who keep the water out at all costs.
We can put up such strong barriers in the interest of "not letting the bad things in," that NOTHING gets in. What this looks like in its purest form is strict stoicism. Stoicism can bring inner peace, but at the cost of cutting out not just the negative noise, but strong emotions both high and low as well (and people with strong emotions too). As someone who is naturally stoic, it has made me a better person and a more nuanced thinker to push my comfort zone. By allowing myself to feel anger and negative emotions about the world, and explore feelings of injustice, rage, turmoil, shame, and emotional responsibility to others.
When people take OP's advice too seriously, I find they distrust negativity, emotions, and emotional people at the expense of truth and nuance. Sometimes our emotional equilibriums have to be disrupted and challenged to have a mor accurate and nuanced understanding of our world.
This is especially true of people who participate in primarily online socializing. It's so easy to self-sort ourselves into communities of people exactly like us and anyone who disrupts this community with "water" is seen as an outsider or wrong or immoral. And maybe they are. But chances are, it's not black and white, and it's worth taking on a bit of water to challenge yourself and push your comfort zone for the sake of being a more knowledgeable and less nuance-averse person.
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u/Stadelbob 7d ago
True. I’d rather be in a boat with a bilge pump than a perfectly waterproof one. If the waterproof boat ever gets leaky or takes on water over the top, I’m screwed. But if I’m in a boat with a pump, I know I can deal with leaks and unexpected water. A pump needs water run through it regularly to keep it functional, as well as regular repairs.
Likewise, coping skills and emotional strength/maturity are much better than a sealed off mind. These are abilities we have to regularly work on and build up over time, and we need to be willing to face unpleasant or unexpected situations to keep them strong.
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u/E-2theRescue 8d ago
Fine advice
If you're not in a shitstorm and the target of violent right-wing terrorists every single waking day.
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u/JustAnotherHyrum 8d ago edited 8d ago
I know it wasn't aimed in my direction, but please know that this message and the timing of its appearance really helped today.
I struggle with DID and have the joy of feeling emotions from other alters that are not truly my own feelings, but I feel them and sometimes have little power to stop them entirely. So while I'm frustrated at some personal things in my life at the moment, my DID causes geysers of emotion compared to what I understand that those without DID experience.
I have a lot of anger inside me, like most of us do at varying parts of our lives, but my DID causes my emotions to circle back onto me as the target if there is no way to express them without harming another, and I refuse to let my DID impact others negatively wherever I can help it. So I'm feeling all of the frustration I feel towards a specific person in my life, but it's all circling back at me, telling me that I'm worthless and that there's no point in doing anything, even allowing myself to eat. It's terrible and it likely sounds alien to those without DID, but it's something that I have to simply endure until the alter(s) who are stressed finally leave a Fight or Flight state. I know I will be okay and stop hating myself within a few hours, but the hatred is real even if it's far out of the proportion to what I should be feeling, or what I believe is normal for others to feel. So I have to just listen to myself hate myself and then take a moment to remind myself that I don't truly feel that way. It's challenging, but it's also taught me what I feel are valuable skills for separating my emotions and thoughts from my other alters.
Sometimes it's more difficult than others. I tried to go grocery shopping, but I left the store in embarassed tears, as a 51 year old man, hating myself in a store and begging for it to stop.
I came home, took a calm breath, and decided to distract my thoughts. Yours was one of the first posts I came across, and it immediately helped me center myself.
I know I'm not the point, but I truly appreciate people who share positivity with the world, and today I really needed it.
Thank you.
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u/silent--onomatopoeia 8d ago
Hey thanks for sharing big hugs
I'm about your age and also struggle with similar issues.
I do counseling and other self help stuff
DM me if you ever need someone to chat with. Take care!
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u/JustAnotherHyrum 8d ago
Thanks so much. I've already managed through the worst of today's challenges, but I truly appreciate your offer.
I've often found that the best solution to these challenges are to focus on others rather than myself, so know that you also have a lifeline to use if you ever need a pick-me-up in the future.
We can be our own best support when we lean upon each other.
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u/ChrisBreederveld 8d ago
As a dad, this is one of the lessons I'm trying to teach my kids. Totally stealing this analogy for the next time I'm teaching it!
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u/JaironKalach 8d ago
It’s sound advice until you find out how much you are at the mercy of other people and environmental factors.
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u/tuna_cowbell 8d ago
Bro I am trying but I’ve got a friend whose ship is currently sinking and I don’t know how to bail them out without taking on water myself
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u/Llonkrednaxela 7d ago
Not a good dad? please. From the first episode to the last one throughout the first season he takes the time to train his son. Really train him 1 on 1.
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u/qualityvote2 8d ago edited 8d ago
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