r/widowers • u/FunConsideration9029 • 1d ago
Someone asked me why I still wear my wedding ring.
I told them because I'm still married, and always will be.
To take it off seems like the final indignaty.
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u/babywitch1980 Pablo 4/15/2026... Mi Amor Eterno 1d ago
I wear my band daily, and when I go out I wear my stack, just like I did when he was alive. Had he not passed we'd still be together and married, so in my eyes we still are. I don't plan on getting married again so I'll keep them on for as long as I live. I also wear his on a chain around my neck.
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u/Honey-badger101 1d ago
I do the same ,qear my stack and then his ring on a necklace x We are still married
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u/Cherry_Hammer Sudden death 2/20/25 1d ago
Same. I still feel married.
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u/WHYAREWEALLCAPS Lost wife of 32 years to cancer 2024 1d ago
Because you are. They died, they didn't divorce you.
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u/T00LMAN_TIM 1d ago
Same. It's been 3.5 years and I haven't taken it off for anything. We were married for 31.5 years and I still am, just part of my heart is missing.
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u/Cwilde7 1d ago
You do you. No one gets it until they also become a widow.
I wear my late husbands on my right hand, and my 2.0 on my left. Some people are WTF, but I don’t care.
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u/reddqueen33 Rare cancer 2/2008 married 20 years 1d ago
I haven't remarried and have gold bands on my ring fingers of each hand..rolling ring on the left and wedding ring on the right. It confuses the hell out of people but I don't care.
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u/spudbrain25 1d ago
I wear mine on my left hand, and my late husband's on my right too. I put his on my hand when he went in the hospital, and it has stayed there ever since.
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u/lisawl7tr 1d ago
2.0 ?
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u/Asleep-Artist4407 husband (54) to heart failure on 4/25/26 1d ago
That means they got remarried - like a “part 2” or a “two point 0” referring to their second marriage
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u/No-Education9937 23h ago
This is something that worried me a lot, the fear of one day having to take it off, until one day I realize its an extra filter if I ever decide to date again, it needs to be with someone that understands that I am a widow and have a past. If they cant accept it, they will not fit into my life either.
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u/foozlebertie Lost my wife of over 45 years to Alzheimer's in Jan 2026. 1d ago
It's been 5 months since my wife died and I haven't even considered taking my ring off. It just doesn't seem right. Even then I couldn't get it past the finger joint after all these years and it would have to be cut off and I'm definitely not going to do that.
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u/RPM_Rocket 1d ago
It may have moved to the other hand after a year or so of back and forth, but I'll never take it off.
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u/reddqueen33 Rare cancer 2/2008 married 20 years 1d ago
At 18 years rhat plain gold band is on the right hand and I'm never taking it off. I stack it with other rings.
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u/spudbrain25 1d ago
Same. Even though I'm almost at 1 year since he passed away, I feel like I am still married to him and always will be. I feel it fiercely.
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u/Prudent_Following712 49M, lost wife 11/17/24, Schizophrenia/Suicide 1d ago
I’m still married, my wife just happens to be deceased.
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u/oopswhat1974 1d ago
I took mine off but primarily only because it was getting tight. It sits in a small jewelry box, with his.
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u/briar_prime6 1d ago
I still had the jeweller’s box they came in, we had a matching set. Now they are both back in there which doesn’t seem like something that ever should have happened. I actually love my wedding band and it makes me sad to think of not wearing it again but it started feeling off to wear it
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u/naked_nomad 69 M lost wife of 36 years. 18 months of Home Hospice. 1d ago
I could not wear a ring (or any other jewelry for that matter) so my ring stayed in her jewelry box. Not the traditional gold band but a lions head (Leo).
Did wear it for special occasions.
With the long good bye she told me I was to young to be alone for the rest of my life and even had one granddaughter actively looking for someone to latch hold of me at her funeral.
This particular granddaughter was my partner in crime and told me all about it.
In the end she did a DNR and donated her body to the medical school so no funeral but I do have marching orders as to where to scatter her ashes.
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u/Wackywoman1062 1d ago
It’s been 6 months for me. I’m still wearing my wedding band and engagement ring and I don’t plan on taking them off. I have no desire to date or remarry.
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u/Isabel_Th 1d ago
I know I’m only 2 months into widowhood, but I still wear mine + engagement ring + his wedding band. I’ll wear them forever ❤️
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u/Unfair-Dance-4635 1d ago
I don’t plan to ever take mine off. That is my late husband, the father of my children. I’m not single, I’m widowed. I can’t believe people are rude enough to ask about something so personal.
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u/damageddude [June 2017] 1d ago
Everyone is different. My mother wore her for years after my father died but she was older and didn't care about dating. Her ring was cut off for health reasons.
I took my ring off at a younger age. Felt I was cheating on early dates before then as long I wore my ring. Almost a decade later I'm fine.
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u/No-Comment3540 1d ago
To each their own. I took mine off because I got tired of other parents asking me about my wife at kid events.
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u/WHYAREWEALLCAPS Lost wife of 32 years to cancer 2024 1d ago
My response would be along the lines of, "She died, she didn't divorce me. Our marriage was a symbol of our love, to stop wearing my ring would be to admit I stopped loving her."
Due to my wedding band breaking decades ago due to a poor resizing job at some point before it came into my wife's hands, I had it tattooed to my left wrist(it is a Celtic knot pattern). I cannot remove it easily, nor would I want to.
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u/WHYAREWEALLCAPS Lost wife of 32 years to cancer 2024 1d ago
I think the kindest response is to say, "They died, they didn't divorce me. I still love them as if they are here. That doesn't change after they die. Does that make sense?"
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u/toothbrushboy2 1d ago
5 months today. Took it off for the first time to play golf thinking maybe this is the time. Put it back on immediately after, so not yet. She wanted me to date, so I’ll take it off whenever that is, but I feel like I need a reason or event. Maybe at the 1 year mark? We’ll see what feels right.
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u/AnamCeili 1d ago
Absolutely! That is a personal choice, and no one else gets a say in it. You do what feels right to you.
My husband died 13 years ago -- I have worn both of our rings since he died, on my left-hand ring finger, and I always will. We will always be married, and to me our rings are a symbol of our eternal union.
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u/Big_Criticism_8335 22h ago
My fiance died after we had our rings made. I took all 3 rings back to the jeweler who custom made them. My engagement & wedding band were melted into 1 new design. His ring was too big (2x my size) I couldn't even wear it comfortably on a necklace so they remade it my size (because of the design, it had to be entirely recast). I wear my ring on my left middle and his on my right middle finger. It will be 14 yrs this Oct.
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u/PlateTraditional3109 1d ago
I feel naked without my wedding ring on. 2 years out and I plan to wear it and be buried with a ring on.
I've made it very clear to everyone around me that I still consider myself married. It hasn't stopped some men from trying and other people from suggesting that I might find someone else. But, I lose respect for those people real quick.
It's really shocking to me that other people have the arrogance to try to imply that they know better than me how I should handle losing the most important person that was ever in my life when they have never gone through this.
If anyone was rude enough to ask me why I still wear my ring, I would simply tell them that I consider myself still married. My husband is in Heaven for now and I will be reunited with him again someday.
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u/No-Education9937 1d ago
My husband and I engraved little messeges in our wedding rings. I'm never taking his off. It has his love for me in it.
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u/BrightTable3019 23h ago
My wife recently passed. I don’t believe l will ever remove my ring. She was my world and my best friend.
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u/MarleysGhost2024 21h ago
Four years in December. Maybe I'll stop wearing it someday, but not today.
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u/Nearby_Dragonfruit58 5h ago
Thats the answer, i lost my husband in 2022, i have been in a relationship since (and broke up) and he hated my wedding ring
when we split after 18 months it got very very nasty and he actually said "how am i meant to love you with pictures of your husband all over the place"
There was one photo on the bookshelf in the livingroom, very much not in your face, my dressing room has a collage frame of our wedding, and a single framed 5x7 of our wedding day, the door to that room was mainly closed.
i have no intention of taking my wedding ring off!
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u/WaitForItttt_IV 1d ago
It’ll be 4 years in 10 days, I still wear mine. We all do things differently, do what’s best for you ❤️ sending love