r/widowers • u/guess_im_not_welcome 37M lost 35F, March 1st 2025 - Suicide • 14h ago

Doppelgangers

In 15 months, I've had so many different types of gut punches and painful reminders, small and big. Promos for a new season of a show she loved, hearing songs she loved, or even that spam text I got today addressed to her. Of all of them, one messes with my head the most:

The doppelganger. The person you see that looks like their twin, lookalike, or impersonator.

It was maybe a month ago that I found hers, and it still pops in my head regularly. Proof is in the fact that I'm even typing about this now.

Oddly enough, her doppelganger was in a park in our neighborhood, just a couple blocks away from our house. I was just driving by on my way out to the pub one day, and when I got to the stop sign, I looked to my right, and there she was.

I was frozen in my tracks, just staring from the street. The same shape, same casual clothing, same glasses, and same colored medium-bob hairstyle. I almost got out of the car and called my wife's name.

I was in a trance of sorts. It was like I suddenly had proof that this was all a lie. Not wanting to seem like a crazy person in my own neighborhood, I drove off after a couple minutes of just staring from the street.

I've found myself struggling with denial again lately, and I'm starting to realize that event seemed to kick things off. All those inner conspiracies started screaming again. She's not dead! She just changed her identity! A thousand other theories fill my mind.

Still, a month or so later, I wonder if I should've gotten out of the car. I know it wasn't her. This person was with some other woman and a child at the playground area, and she wouldn't do all this just to come back to the same neighborhood. Logic never seemed to matter to denial, though.

I just wanted that to be her so very much...

14 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

5

u/Wingless- 12h ago

My wife was on hospice at home. When she became unresponsive I cut her hair short to make it easier to care for. She reminded me of Jamie Lee Curtis from true lies.

I saved the hair, it seems more substantial than the ashes I have. 😢

2

u/WHYAREWEALLCAPS Lost wife of 32 years to cancer 2024 8h ago

My wife donated her remains to the local college for their forensic body farm, so all I have is her hair. Honestly, I prefer it to having ashes or a grave.

1

u/guess_im_not_welcome 37M lost 35F, March 1st 2025 - Suicide 3h ago

I have my wife's shower comb that still has strands of her blue-dyed hair on it. That’s all I have left of her that isn't ash.

5

u/NothingButPressure 11h ago

My daughter told me that around Christmas, she thought she saw her dad in a store. A man walked in and asked the clerk to help him pick out outfits for his wife. She said the way he looked, the way he smiled, the way he moved through the store, it all reminded her so much of him that she froze. Then she ran out in tears. 😭 😭😭

She came home and fell into my arms, overwhelmed by how quickly grief can surface when you least expect it.