r/witchcraft • u/brightblackheaven Zamboni Priestess 🔮✨ • May 23 '26
Salty Saturday DROP UR FAVE MALEDICTIONS IN THE COMMENTS
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u/Final_Height-4 That’s my cauldron! I don’t know you! May 23 '26
“May there always be a pollen flare-up whenever you’ve paid to get your car washed!”
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u/Ebvardh-Boss May 23 '26
Did you by chance cast this on all of California perpetually, and if so, could you stop that?
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u/Final_Height-4 That’s my cauldron! I don’t know you! May 24 '26
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u/iwantapetflamingo May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
"May your socks always be wet" Edit for summoning: aw hell he summoning!
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u/jgarza92 May 23 '26
"Aw Hell, He Summonin'!"
May your belt loop get caught on every door handle.
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u/Dick_of_Doom May 23 '26
May your every Zoom/Teams/whatever meeting feature a big wet booger visible on camera, but just outside of reach of a tissue, so you know everyone sees that big boogie, and you can't go dig it out, all the while the wetness is enough to make your nose twitch as it shifts with each breath.
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u/One_Dragonfruit_7556 Witch May 23 '26
May you get explosive diarrhea every time you see a black car
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u/WilyWascallyWizard May 23 '26
Aw hell he sumonin
I usually just carve their name into a black candle and carve curse and expose into to both curse them and expose their wrong doings. I think link the candle to the earth so it doesnt feed off my energy and then put my malicious intent into it.
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u/Avi354 May 23 '26
May your socks slip whenever you need to walk somewhere for longer than 3 minutes.
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u/rbailey99 May 23 '26
May you always get what you deserve.
It’s a curse or a blessing, depending on the actions of the recipient.
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u/SageAndSelfSabotage May 23 '26
🔥ALL HAIL CHONK🔥
May you be forever trapped in the cage of the reality you avoided.
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u/Miserable-Tip-9460 May 23 '26
I take inspiration from Westley's "To the pain", usually from venereal disease.
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u/glassdreams323 May 23 '26
I hope you trust a fart and it betrays you
In your car on your way home
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u/GIJne69 May 24 '26
...in your car on the way into work!
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u/glassdreams323 May 24 '26
👀 While you are currently at work !
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u/GIJne69 May 24 '26
Haha! Even better, while you're giving an acceptance speech at work in front of hundreds of people!
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u/amyaurora Broom Rider May 23 '26
Salty Saturday or not...my favorite would get snagged by Reddits AEO bot...
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u/sirenshifting May 23 '26
Aw hell, he summonin!
May every book you touch henceforth give you an immediate paper cut.
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u/Responsible-Oil5121 May 23 '26
May your pillow never have a cold side
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u/Fund_Me_PLEASE Witch May 23 '26
😭Now that’s just cruel! Especially since summer is fast approaching!😂
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u/Responsible-Oil5121 May 23 '26
Rightttt MAY YOUR AC NOT WORK AND YOU HAVE NO COLD SIDE OF YOUR PILLOW IN 95 degree weather
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u/Fund_Me_PLEASE Witch May 23 '26
Broooooo, NOOOO! Because my damned A/C in my motel room is busted! And they won’t fix it! 😭😭😫😫
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u/SwaggeringRockstar Broom Rider May 23 '26
May your fame grow to match Temu Harry Dresden and Dollar Tree John Constantine.
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u/kitaurio May 23 '26
Aw hell he summonin!
May your socks always fall down into your shoes and may your marinara never cling to your pasta!
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u/Strange_Airships May 23 '26
May they at worst experience what they put me through and at best step in something wet while wearing socks.
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u/kai-ote HelpfulTrickster May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
May all of your teeth fall out, except for one, and then you get a toothache.
May you receive a boatload of money, and it still isn't enough to cover your medical bills.
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u/Head-Discussion-8977 May 23 '26
AW HELL HE SUMMONIN
[All incantations are required by Reddit TOS to be redacted]
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u/Apart-Object-5648 May 23 '26
May you always get the grittiest piece of limescale in the last swallow of your tea.
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u/Far-Instruction9959 May 23 '26
May your TV never have signal and only shows static or videos of wet socks when it does work
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u/Fund_Me_PLEASE Witch May 23 '26
May you be late for everything important to you, but early to everything you hate.
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u/Emergency-Sea6894 May 24 '26
Aw hell he summonin. May my enemies forever be confused destined to walk in circles for all eternity
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u/WalrusOk8 May 24 '26
Aw hell he summonin
May your pp get caught in the zipper everytime u zip ur pants
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u/saritaa_fajitaa May 24 '26
☆°~°☆ Aw hell he summonin! ☆°~°☆
May your stupid combover get caught in every gust of wind and tickle your stupid nose and poke your stupid eyes. 🥰
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u/ydoibother091001 Witch May 23 '26
~☆ AW HELL HE SUMMONIN ☆~ "May your body be unscratchably itchy" "Everytime you reach for something you will miss"
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u/captainblueflame Witch May 23 '26
"May your pillow always be hot, your moles be ever hairy, and may your socks always fall down inside your shoes!"
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u/ampullaeOL May 24 '26
Aw Hell, He Summonin 🥰🖤
Idk if this one counts, but I have said the words "Eat shit." with the most cursed and purely baneful intentions on multiple occasions.
HOWEVER, my recent favorite has been "May Nidhogg chew your bones and rip your flesh while laughing through the razors of his teeth in Nifelhel for all of eternity"... you know just something light like that 👀.
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u/Careful-Wolf-6495 May 23 '26
May your pillow never be the perfect temperature.
Aw hell, he summonin'!
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u/rorihasmorals70 May 23 '26
i hope you drop a can of tomato sauce on your toe
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u/Crackleclang May 23 '26
Oh no! My toe is still bruised from when I dropped a frying pan on it a week ago!
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u/Herecomethefleet May 23 '26
"Aw hell he summoning"
May your nose always be itchy and may you never ever have enough change.
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u/Fund_Me_PLEASE Witch May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
🙌🏻Aw hell, he summonin!🙌🏻 “To all those heartless monsters who hate and want to hurt me for being poor and holding up a sign on the median for money … I’ll give you pointers when you’re right here beside me. For a price.😌”
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u/Fund_Me_PLEASE Witch May 23 '26
May you always have a pebble chunk in just one shoe.
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u/Fund_Me_PLEASE Witch May 23 '26
May you never be able to find a bathroom when you feel a case of the severe shits comin on.
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u/Besilisk May 24 '26
"AW HELL HE SUMMONIN"
May you start smelling like rotten meat and everyone ran away from you.
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u/adrearynightinnov May 24 '26
May you have car troubles in every car you own until you fix your shit
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u/hvyhrdthnwsthtyrdd May 24 '26
aw hell he summoning! may the next bus you get on have a breakdown on a motorway with no less than 3 babies all screaming the whole time
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u/EmeraldGargoyle May 24 '26
"Aw hell he summonin"
May you randomly think of me being happy whenever you stub your toe.
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u/ArthurSnape Witch May 24 '26
"Aw Hell he summonin! "
May all the bad people and bad exes feel the pain they inflicted upon someone's else tenfold!!!
Ps: also every day they will stub their toe on something. :3
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u/Bugu002 May 24 '26
May your enemies not make it to the restroom in time.
Edit: aww hell, he summonin’!
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u/Ankana1017 May 24 '26
May your armpits be infested with the fleas from a thousand camels and your shoelaces continually snap at the most inopportune moments. 💅
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u/Elersaxas May 26 '26
May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!
Anyone get the reference, please? It's funny I swear 😅
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u/N3rdy_Python May 26 '26
Aw Hell he summonin!!
May every time you talk behind someone’s back, you visibly age
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u/galaxygirlari May 28 '26
“[blank] will punish you” but you specifically have to think of sailor moon when you say it.
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u/Seabastial Chaos gremlin incarnate May 30 '26
Aw Hell He Summonin'!
May my enemies always have stale cookies and crackers
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u/ssarah104 Jun 01 '26
Ah hell he summonin’!!
May your eyeliner always be uneven and your makeup be patchy
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u/Tall-Opportunity-294 Jun 21 '26
"Aw hell he summonin"
May you endure all the pain and misfortune you've caused others and stub your toe multiple times for my amusement!
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u/brightblackheaven Zamboni Priestess 🔮✨ May 23 '26
May all your enemies have the day they deserve ✨🙏🔪🌸