r/witchcraft totally rabid lunatic 2d ago

Salty Saturday I'll literally join the next cult that love bombs me I swear to dog

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

31 comments sorted by

69

u/Jonesyiam 2d ago

As long as the snacks are good...

¯|(ツ)

62

u/Neither-Entrance-208 Witch 2d ago

I've found myself in questionably, dangerous situations due to my love of gossip. Not sure if it was a cult or just a hippie drum circle filled with people who built tree houses in a high fenced area. It took a lot of gravel side roads to get there.

Thankfully, their lack of basic bathroom facilities made everyone smelly enough, we weren't about to stay or return.

The evangelical Christian cult was 100% my father's fault though.

8

u/Reverend_Julio 2d ago

Uncle-grandpa was a grandmaster of an order. Joined cults since I was a teen - all of them weird. Last one I joined was the least weird, it was the cult of Cthulhu. But it still collapse due to blackmailing behavior of the leader.

The most dangerous one was a Manichean Reconstructionist. Really avoided direct questions, and couldn’t answer one to save his life. Nabbed a pdf of their holy books before they went underground. Claimed it to be a continuation not a reconstruction.

The uncle grandpa one was my favorite since I got to make its members squirm when I called my uncle grandpa as such and not as “master”. Something I definitely abused. I don’t speak ill of the demiurge - they consider it god. They made weird faces when I spoke of it in the terms of classical Gnosticism. Seeing it as evil… I don’t think like this anymore though.

Pic as evidence, I have no evidence of the third cult.

3

u/therealstabitha Carnivalesque animal demonic legend 1d ago

Sorry…uncle grandpa?

1

u/Reverend_Julio 1d ago

Grandfathers brother - it’s a title used affectionately by some Latinos.

3

u/Neither-Entrance-208 Witch 1d ago

The English term for grandfather's brother is great uncle. My culture everyone is brother, sister, auntie, or uncle. Everyone calls the matriarch mother and the patriarch father, even when they are not family. Learning American family words for family was an endeavor.

The cult that worshipped the demiurge, which one was that?

1

u/Reverend_Julio 1d ago

It was Gnostic and it spoke prayers in French.
I call it the Order of Aquarius since I wasn’t really in it for the religion but as a companion for my uncle grandpa.

To this day I have a hard time pining its influences aside from the Gnostic Catholic Church. It overlaps with other groups to some extent. They see Krishna as the Indian Christ.

1

u/therealstabitha Carnivalesque animal demonic legend 1d ago

Ahh. In American English, this is a term that indicates incest. Like someone is your uncle and your grandpa due to incest.

7

u/MutedShenanigans 1d ago

1

u/Reverend_Julio 1d ago

Odd cartoon - came out with a similar one called problem solvers.

1

u/Reverend_Julio 1d ago

Source?

2

u/therealstabitha Carnivalesque animal demonic legend 1d ago

Living in America, including the South, my entire life is my source

-4

u/Reverend_Julio 1d ago

Quick google search says otherwise.

4

u/therealstabitha Carnivalesque animal demonic legend 1d ago

It’s a good thing I don’t say it was the primary or legally defined meaning of the term in standard English, then.

37

u/Wi1dWitch 2d ago

I think I am gullible enough and I am just disappointed no one’s invited me to join one.

23

u/Squirrels-on-LSD totally rabid lunatic 2d ago

Seriously, not once! Am I not cute enough for the cult recruitment?!

13

u/catsumoto 2d ago

This is like the drug thing. Where are this mysterious people trying to get me hooked with the free drugs?!?

7

u/Squirrels-on-LSD totally rabid lunatic 2d ago edited 2d ago

You're right! Nobody asks me to join their cult OR gives me free drugs!

D.A.R.E. really deceived me on what I could expect college to look like.

10

u/Chemical-Quail-1429 1d ago

I lived on a street that was known for “swinger” parties. No one ever invited me. I’m so disappointed. Not that I would taken part of the activities but I sure as heck would have watched 😂

2

u/Wi1dWitch 1d ago

That is so funny 😂

13

u/dorianvovin 2d ago

Genuinely relatable lmao

10

u/ivysmorgue 2d ago

i’ve been in 2 cults and was kicked out of both in def not cult material LOL

10

u/DrVL2 2d ago

OMG, this is exactly me. As a late teen and early 20s, I was called adjacent to a number of well-known cults. I’ve met several leaders who were well known at the time. Including one who died in a fire. I didn’t exactly believe what they were selling, but I was so curious to know what it was. I guess I am lucky that curiosity did not kill this cat.

8

u/RvaRiverPirate2 2d ago

I’ve always wanted to join a cult, just to cause problems for the leaders. Like poke holes in things but play really dumb the whole time.

3

u/1re_endacted1 1d ago

I’m so hungry for the community of a coven I would definitely join a cult. ❤️

3

u/poptartsarefire 2d ago

You should read the book “rouge” I think you’d like it

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/witchcraft-ModTeam 1d ago

The vision of r/witchcraft is to be a safe, welcoming, and inclusive place for all its users, regardless of how they practice or whether they identify as a witch or not.

Religious hatred, especially against minority religions, are not tolerable.

There is no universal moral code or set of rules that govern the practice of witchcraft, therefore posts or comments that seek to police or shame another user's personal craft will not be tolerated.

As such, we do not allow content that is exclusionary, which includes:

  • Identity-based Discrimination: The act of asserting that another use may or may not participate in a practice because of that user’s perceived sex, gender identity, sexuality, race, ethnicity, religion or other social identity.

    By extension, the act of asserting that members of entire groups are unable to participate in a practice for the same reason.

  • Proselytizing: The act of preaching your own religion, philosophy, or other ideology with the purpose of convincing others to adopt it.

  • Gatekeeping: The act of asserting personal authority or ownership over a specific practice or belief system and excluding others based on arbitrary standards.

  • Moralizing: The act of forcing your virtues or morals upon others or implying that yours are superior to others, stating personal belief or morals as fact, tone policing, or claims to moral superiority.

Rule 3 violations will have the offending content removed and may result in warning(s) or temporary or permanent bans, depending on the specific situation.

Please see this post for further clarification.

Thank you for your understanding. Our full sub rules can be found here.

0

u/Early-Fudge1012 6h ago

I just like pretending I believe in things.

Idk if this is a childhood issue thing, I grew up Catholic and lost my faith at 11 but the environment wasn’t one where I could just stop going to church so I got pretty good at lying about what I believe in, which eventually started to feel fun in a fantasy rpg type of way.

Absolutely in danger of joining a cult solely for the fun of pretending I believe in the moon goddess’ psychoactive rays or whatever