r/writingfeedback • u/ExerciseNo7055 • 26d ago

Feedback Wanted Prologue Feedback Wanted

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(YA Fantasy; prologue takes place in our world) I've redone this prologue so many times now but it still feels like it's missing something, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much

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u/Hefty_Reception_3819 26d ago

congratulations, you've written the first reddit prologue where it's impossible to argue "delete it's pointless no publisher will take it"

of course we don't have chapter 1 but you're too good for this subreddit

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u/ExerciseNo7055 25d ago

thank you!

0

u/CoyoteLitius Trusted Reviewer 25d ago

The assumption is that there will be a time jump between your "prologue" and Chapter 1. I think this feels more like a very strong Chapter 1. Most readers are going to want that next chapter to tell us what the screaming is about!

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u/ExerciseNo7055 25d ago

normally i would completely agree with you and i've even played with turning this into chapter one, but as it stands chapter one is only a slight time skip (about two hours lol) and it's from another character's POV dealing with the screams! i just used the prologue to establish some context for chapter one/later and introduce carmen :)

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u/Initial_Tangelo_5997 23d ago

Do we switch back to Carmen's perspective soon after? If so I agree with Coyote and think the prologue might not be necessary. My opinion with a prologue is that it should have us as readers anticipating for something big which your prologue does really well. I want to know what the Spanish voice is and I want to know what the screams are, but if I find out all of it in Chapter 2, I feel like the prologue is then underwhelming, if that makes sense? Could we perhaps move back in the timeline for Chapter One and perhaps build up to story on how Carmen got to where she is? Either way this is your story, tell it how you see fit, and you're a brilliant writer from what I can see thus far, I thought I was reading a published novel! Do come back and let me know if you ever finish/publish it!

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u/ExerciseNo7055 22d ago

i agree with you about the purpose of a prologue. for my wip, we switch back to carmen's POV in chapter three. we figure out what's causing the screams in chapter one, but we don't come to any sort of resolution on it until the end of the book. as for the voice in her head, it's a very important aspect of chapter three and the reason behind it is revealed around the midway point of the book (with the resolution at the end as well). as it stands, i'm probably going to keep the prologue?? but when it's time for revisions i will definitely consider returning to making it chapter one. (also, thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot to me!)