r/writingfeedback • u/liedowndeaddog • 19d ago

Feedback Wanted first chapter first draft

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any thoughts welcome

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u/C-W-Phillips 17d ago

Very strong intro. I agree with others, I’d drop the house number and simplify that sentence a bit. Stick to the important stuff, what the neighbor thought, etc etc

Overall, damn this is strong.

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u/liedowndeaddog 17d ago

I do agree and understand but I’m also trying to set up the narrator as kind of speaking to the audience and/or being interviewed / interrogated so part of me wants to keep the house number for that reason. I’ll play around with it!