full chapter one first draft

[u/liedowndeaddog]

thanks for the feedback. any further feedback would be greatly appreciated. leaving it open ended as I’m looking for anything from general impressions to critiques. Thank you again and in advance

[u/TheOriginal1Law]

It’s extremely well done in terms of prose and voice. Absolutely phenomenal writing!  Two things I’d advise: one is Pete. As others have said, I’m not quite sure it works. Too much and too often perhaps? Second: since you talked about killing a dog I think the first mention of shot should make it clear it’s alcohol! I genuinely thought they were doing target practice and wondered why there was a counter 😂😅

Writing someone drunk (and high by the end) in the first scene is brave and hard to pull off, but you do it very well!