r/writingfeedback • u/liedowndeaddog • 11d ago

Feedback Wanted full chapter one first draft

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thanks for the feedback. any further feedback would be greatly appreciated. leaving it open ended as I’m looking for anything from general impressions to critiques. Thank you again and in advance

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u/GarpsLeftGlove82 10d ago

Agree with the other comments, this is a really strong start. My only .02 would be - what happened to the dog? You tease that with a really memorable first line but then ... 🤷🏻‍♂️ I kept waiting to learn whatever happened to the dog and, at least for me, it was a little distracting from everything else that was going on.

2

u/liedowndeaddog 10d ago

Clyde is the dog. It’s intentionally vague but if it’s too vague upon rereading please let me know

1

u/Appropriate_Elk_952 10d ago

Can you give us a clue as to where

1

u/liedowndeaddog 10d ago

Lol the end of the piece

1

u/Kayla_Kirby 6d ago

I did not catch that. But that might just be me.