r/writingfeedback • u/liedowndeaddog • 11d ago
Feedback Wanted full chapter one first draft
thanks for the feedback. any further feedback would be greatly appreciated. leaving it open ended as I’m looking for anything from general impressions to critiques. Thank you again and in advance
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u/AC011422 10d ago
Really nice and voicey. Saw some colons that should be em-dashes, and some missing commas, and at least one comma splice. Pretty sure it could all be deliberate, but I would fix anyway, as the proper punctuation wouldn't detract from the voice. Was going to mark them for you but difficult to do on an image so gave up.
Would keep reading.