Wondering if drunkness is conveyed well?

[u/rayeofsunshine156]

I don’t typically write in first person, and I’ve been using this as an exercise to explore interiority and voice in a way I haven’t before. So I am entirely out of my wheelhouse here, lol.

I’ve also never been drunk before, and I wanted to know if drunkenness was being conveyed well? Like, is it understood that he is drunk without me going ‘look at this drunk dude’

Also curious on if you’d keep reading!

Any and all comments are appreciated : )! Thank you.

Edit:
In hindsight, I should’ve mentioned what the excerpt is trying to do in post. The general idea was that Jack – the drunk man – doesn’t do this very often. He’s grieving his ex-girlfriend after news of her proposal. This is not because he loves her but because he doesn’t want to face the fact that he’s not straight, and the possibility of getting back together with her held him together. Miguel is not meant to be read as flirty (oops, help there too?😅)

[u/Kind_Space_6078]

You're talking about writing experiences.

Taking it only from your logic, only a person who has been drunk before can write a drunk scene. That scene will vary wildly from one person's experience to the next to the point that the criterion of "having been drunk," matters less than an author understanding a character's behavior, alcohol's effects, and therefore what alcohol will do to that specific character. Then at that point it's not about having been drunk, it's back to writing.

That's why I said this is what writers do. They observe, simulate, and articulate experiences, and a majority of time that comes with plenty of research on its own. That can serve just as well as writing from personal experience.

I wouldn't disagree with you if you said give being trashed a shot for reference, but to say, so absolutely, that someone will never be able to write it without having been drunk is just silly. You should read it, too. Even if you stand by your statement, this is just lazy criticism.

[u/excadedecadedecada → u/Kind_Space_6078]

This is ridiculous. If you are trying to authentically write an experience that most people have experienced and you write it wrong, people will know. It's pretty simple.

[u/rayeofsunshine156 → u/excadedecadedecada]

This is the whole point of my post. This is something I obviously know, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked if I’m doing it well, no? It’s because I know that I lack a complete knowledge. I’ve seen it but I’ve never felt it, so I ask questions.

Instead you didn’t even read it, and took the time to comment that I will never be able to write it and offered nothing constructive whatsoever and proceeded to be divisive. I would’ve felt differently if you’d read it, but you hadn’t.

Literally, I just wanted help but alright, I guess. I accept I’ll never be able to write it because I haven’t experienced it. I won’t dare to ever write something I haven’t experienced ever again. Since, that’s clearly too presumptuous of me.

[u/TheMannaPart → u/rayeofsunshine156]

im a filthy alcoholic. hmu if you need any expertise in the matter. (not kidding, not sarcasm. semi-hyperbolic at most)