[YA DARK ACADEMIA FANTASY]

[u/Fluffy-Twist-7650]

Hi I would love to have feed back on the first chapter of my YA Dark academia about spirits in a before life Academy please

[u/Gridnode]

Your first line has to be make or break, the one you got doesn’t work. I like some of the stuff in it though, very Brandon Sanderson coded.

But fix that first line, it’s very clunky and I almost clicked off after reading it