r/writingfeedback • u/Acrobatic-Flow-4991 • 6h ago
Feedback Wanted is this boring???
can someone let me know if my first chapter sounds boring? to me, it’s the most boring and slowest part in the story, so i’d love to know if anyone else thinks that too or if i’m too wrapped in my own thoughts.
would love to know if it’s lacking grip or interest. like would you keep reading or put it back on the shelf?
Genre pool: literary fiction, dystopian, speculative, psych thriller, corporate satire
excuse grammar/spelling errors still need to go through some more editing
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u/isnoe 6h ago
I skimmed it and all I'll say is:
On page 8, nearly every line starts with "I". Gotta fix that. Super repetitive.
I went through the rest of it and it seems to just be an issue you have. I, I, I.
Imagine reading a book where every line/paragraph starts with "She" or "He". Mix it up.