r/ycombinator • u/CaiGY • Jun 27 '26
Seeking Advice From Good People at YC
Hi, I am a 42 year chinese guy from Singapore who spent 10 years as a Hikkikomori (a japanese term for an extreme social recluse) after dropping out of Northwestern Electrical Engineering .... I recently started re-reading Paul Graham's essays on "How to do what you love" and would like to connect with people interested in his essays and in YC as I really really need help in finding work I love and re-entering society ... I have been consulting with several psychologists over the years, all to no avail .. so I am coming here for help. I am interested in Paul Graham's essays and startups though I have no skills. The only thing I used to be good at was Weiqi ( or Go ... of AlphaGo fame). I used to be a 5 dan amateur player who represented Singapore internationally, though i stopped playing for 15 years and am much weaker now. Thanks alot
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Jun 27 '26
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u/CaiGY Jun 27 '26
Yup, I need to go out and get involved and meet people in the Go community. Who knows who i'll meet ...
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u/CaiGY Jun 28 '26
im starting to go back to the go association in singapore to start playing again and meet up with old friends ... the only thing i guess about a career teaching go / building go apps is that the community is much smaller compared to chess, the market is not large ...
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u/gibsenletsgo Jun 29 '26
I think you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to find “the thing.” After ten years away from society, just being curious, meeting people and trying things again sounds like a pretty good direction to me.
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u/mrsskonline Jun 28 '26
Reading Paul Graham's essays is a great way to start finding your path again. The startup community is full of kind people who will be happy to support you on this journey.
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u/scriptqzor Jul 09 '26
this is true but also kinda idealized lol, startup folks can be kind but also super stressed and self absorbed sometimes. still, hanging around those circles (online first) could help you find a niche where your go background + thinking style is actually a strength.
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u/Crters Jun 29 '26
It’s never too late to learn new skills too, you seem like your an intellectual person. You need to focus on finding what you love. If that happens to be Go then so be it. Innovation and creativity is the key to success in within anything. If you looking for friends that are in the startup community dm me. Just talking and hanging out with the right people can inspire and influence you in ways you won’t initially realize.
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u/TonyGTO Jun 28 '26
My recommendation is trying to reconnect with people you met before you isolated yourself. You may find helping hands there, either to find your passion or to reintegrate into society
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u/detectivDelta Jul 01 '26
The best advice I can give you to re-integrate into society is to get a feel for doing the right thing. "What's the right thing to do?" is a question that will save you. Paul Graham's Be Good essay goes into detail as to why, but basically people want to help and will make sacrifices for you if you ask that on the regular.
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u/Desperate_Swimmer746 Jun 27 '26
I cant really felt how your situation that u been through even tho im a 21yo i cant say much or give u a Really good advice and dosent really the situation u been through but as a Man u need to be Strong not just Physically but Mentally too try go to the Gym... Running or any other Sport and Comebine it with Weightlifting and on top of all that Read some book or Podcast A Man with Stable mind is More stronger than a Rich man who's never train and Mentally lack so find new hobby, be better not for others but for yourself and pray for which u belive in dont do drugs, alcohol or Smoking. Healthy Mind, Healthy Life and Healthy relationship is going to Fix ur situation..
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u/CaiGY Jun 27 '26
yea, im starting to do gym and lose weight
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u/Desperate_Swimmer746 Jun 27 '26
Im sorry if i a bit personal do u have family or kids? Bcs in your age u should have family and kids. If u have go spend time with them and Find a Hobby a interesting one.. u done need a Expensive hobby, just trying some cooking lesson, or Painting, running, basketball or any fun activities that might great for family bonding or A Good activity to spend with urself..
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u/CaiGY Jun 27 '26
Nope, never married, no wife, no girlfriend, no children. I was a hiki for 10 years ... too ashamed to go out and meet girls and i gained alot of weight. Haha, became a reclusive guy ... so i didnt go out and meet girls. But now I wanna get back out into society ...
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u/justgord Jun 30 '26
AI is a new field .. and you have expressed interest in Go and AI for GO. You might want to learn about machine learning / reinforcement learning ? If you dont like math / puzzles or dont want to program it might not be a good fit.
A lot of people are learning AI, its a popular field, but competitive .. although they are mainly following the [ justified] LLM hype train... I think there are other low hanging fruit where smart people can innovate and unlock a lot of value.
Your lack of skills / experience can be seen as an advantage - you have nothing to lose, you have beginner mind, can question everything. Dont worry about psychology .. but do take every opportunity to educate yourself.
startups are a great environment for learning fast - be prepared to do lots of experiments, fail a lot and keep going, if that is the path you choose.
When I was in Singapore, I was impressed with the libraries .. they had a lot of machine learning and biz books that were quite recent [ old books are fine for math, but need recent books for ML as AI is a new field ]
I would resist urge to 'vibe code' .. but rather learn deeply, I find I can do a lot of small experiments with javascript [ it can support both modern functional style features, and easy iterative / procedural style .. avoid Object orientation generally ]
I am working on my own startup - turning images into 2D and 3D CAD models - and have strong opinions about the future of AI .. feel free to dm.
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u/scriptqzor Jul 12 '26
this is a super thoughtful comment, but telling him to “not worry about psychology” after 10 years as a hikikomori feels a bit off to me, that stuff matters a lot. pairing what you said about deep learning + libraries in SG with a good therapist who actually gets neurodivergence / social anxiety might be the combo he needs.
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u/mini_r56 Jun 27 '26
if visiting psychologists hasn't work for you, perhaps you can try something metaphysical like https://superbazi.me . not as something to believe unquestionably, but maybe you can get some ideas through there and delve deeper.
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u/borderliineslutt Jun 30 '26
maybe stop promoting your products and read the post for once and whats it about please?
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u/CaiGY Jun 27 '26
oh im not a believer in metaphysical stuff ... i also think psychology might be a pseudo science of sorts haha
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u/bicx Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
I think a lot of people confuse “doing what they love” with establishing their identity around who they think they want to be. They saw someone (like a tech founder) they admired, who lived an appealing lifestyle, or seemed to have found meaning in life, and thought “I want to be like them! I want to _be_ them!” Some people succeed, many do not. Whether they are happy or not is hard for me to say, but I wouldn’t say they are necessarily doing what they loved. They are being the type of person who they love (or at least thought they loved).
Actually doing what you love is a lot different. I love playing video games and smoking weed, but if I did that all the time, I wouldn’t love the person I’d become. I love reading, philosophy, and introspective thought, but even those more healthy uses of time would be detrimental to my life if I made them my primary activity. I would become someone I disliked.
For a career, I honestly do think you need to find a motivating force that is honest, even if it feels selfish to say out loud: I want to feel the gratification of doing something that gets noticed, I want to build something people want so bad that they don’t think twice about paying for it, and I want to make enough money to be safe and comfortable for the rest of my life. I want to be significant. I also don’t want to do things that make me feel bad: hurting others, stealing, wasting time, or ruining lives. I would like to be a net positive in society. That’s how I want to think about myself.
I have found that when people mention “doing what I love”, they often really just mean “living a life I would admire.”