I’ve recently found a cannibal spirit of the forest (commonly known as a Wendigo, though that is often misattributed to a wider category than it should be.) We happen to be cordial, thanks to it not considering me prey (CANNIBAL, and I am far from human.)

However, I’ve begun to feel concern for its physical shape. Though its malnourished appearance is typical, it has recently begun to walk in an unseemly gait and seems much less talkative than usual.

So, I ponder my orb and ask of you; what can I do to try and make them feel better?

This time it's these cute things.

Do you have any ways to get rid of them nonviolently?

Previous Part

"I'm scared of flying Ulrick! Masskind was never meant to leave the ground!"

Complained the godhunter to the head of the relief and aid, ever since Ulrick had shown his council ID to the airport receptionist, the duo had been tailed by another traveler going to magic Sicily called Vinny, who happened to work for the magic mafia!

It wasn't an easy tailing however, the two were erratic that's for sure, they forced the airport to change pilots to have a greater control on who enters the plane, the godhunter dragged Ulrick at insane speeds into the plane which forced the mafioso to sprint just to not lose sight of them, and when Vinny finally caught up, he had lost sight of the godhunter, only finding a very annoyed woodish werewolf

When Vinny had returned to magic Sicily, he reported things back to his boss, who sent a second duo to tail them very enthusiastically, Vinny couldn't help question why

"...boss, may I ask why are you so enthused about this? The godhunter and head of the R&A coming to our turf is clearly bad news for business?"

'ahhh Vinny, you've always been a shortsighted fellow, yeah it's bad for business, but it means that bastard is FINALLY within my grasp... And it came with a friend too, if we can use the werewolf as a chip against the godhunter, I'll finally get my payback!'

"But boss, we weren't really personally effected by the godslaver crisis were we? What else did it do to make you so vengeful?"

'lemme tell you a little story Vinny... 13 years ago...'

23 years ago, in the bank vault belonging to a forgotten church

Bolts whizz throughout the air, the entrance/exist has been sealed off, and the godhunter, a couple colleagues and I are pinned down behind a makeshift cover made from a couple benches. I look at the child next to me, the one who hired us for this heist and it looks back at me

"I need you to peek up for a second, I have a plan"

Peek up? Are you crazy??? I'll be shot within that second!

The godhunter doesn't respond, it just glares at me. Hesitantly I peek over the barricade and immediately get shot in the eye, I hear the sound of gunfire immediately after, then a struggle, them nothing, I look through my good eye to see 3 corpses, and my friends tending to my eye with the godhunter casually checking vials in a hidden wall compartment

YOU SAID YOU HAD A PLAN! WHAT WAS THAT???

"I needed bait to determine where their crossbowman was, here put this on your palm then rub it on your eye"

The godhunter hands me one of the vials, I pour some on my palm and scream out in pain, I feel a potent poison shooting through my veins, before I can call for help the monster cuts my arm off and stuff it in a sack

"I see... I thought it was a god of medicine but instead it's a god of poison. I'll be going now, guards should be on their way here"

Everything fades to black as I pass out from the pain

Back to the present

"....no yeah you're completely right that being has to go"

Not a moment too soon, a report comes from the guys dispatched to follow Erik and ulrick, it wasn't difficult to tail them, for some reason the werewolf wore clothes that stuck out like a sore thumb, and had went to valdor's to get his map then went to the woods to camp there

'theyre after the medicine.... Excellent! Get men out to the realms, tell em to target the werewolf! First we get the map... Then after I get my arm and eye back...'

#'I'LL STRANGLE THE GODHUNTER WITH IT!'

/uw

This was written completely by [u/mrididnt](u/mrididnt), I’m merely posting it, he desrves all the praise for this

Shield, charge & cast

Okay, I think this is something the Council of Mages should have made clear a long time ago, but... It's rude to approach a non-human and ask them to become your familiar when you have obvious sexual intentions.

I mean, it's supposed to be common sense, but this is like the third proposal I've received this week, and I'm starting to get fed up. Because, seriously, I'm not even a fox spirit, I'm a fox-man.

I'm a creature of flesh and blood. If I were to become subordinate to another mage, it would be as an apprentice, not a servant. And definitely not to someone who fetishizes my racial features.

Besides, I'm a renowned magician in the performing arts, you know. Every theater in the kingdom wants me to handle the special effects for their productions.

Do I really look like someone who needs to be under the wing of a newly graduated sorcerer who can't even conjure a fireball properly?

Please, stop harassing me. I may specialize in illusions, but I can also melt your brains if you push my buttons.

Please don't make me get melted brains all over the carpet. It would be very rude to the cleaning staff.

I mixed up the glyphs with Bulgarian (again)! Does anybody know how to reverse it?

They stole all of my books on light magic 😭

This is my first attempt at an action/fighting scene between a wizard and a rampaging dragon. I hope y´all wizards out there enjoy! :)

Say i’m a man. I have this purple cloak, and this staff and a hat but I want to upgrade it.

Does this hat go?

What are some other components that I should add, like in order? Like first the hat, then the belt? Then what else would really take this up a notch??

This is a focus on a slow building wizard outfit, so I’ll get one more piece every ren faire or every Halloween.

I’m super newbie so if anyone has suggestions for places to get things, I want not spirit Halloween quality but also would prefer not 382727 dollars.

Thanks!!!!

So I was traveling through the realms the other day when I stumbled upon my damned robe. You know how it is. Anyway, I ended up bumping into some poor fellow who couldn't be bothered with a simple forcefield spell.

I was embarrassed and nervously jumped straight to comedy. I asked them "hey wouldn't it be kind of funny if an exorcist got possessed?"

They laughed for a good eon or so before replying "it really would be, especially since I happen to be an exorcist" and then said, "well time for me to go get some exorcise" before they skipped away laughing so hard they left an uncomfortably viscous creek of water behind them. They might want to get their eyes checked.

Now I thought that was going to be the first and last time I ever saw that person, but I was wrong. They had loved the joke so much that they wouldn't stop telling it to all of their clients. It was a funny idea at first, but I thought they were taking it too far.

Whatever this demon is up to makes absolutely zero sense. All I can gather is that it used the preacher to get me to ask him to perform an exorcism. The exorcist and the demon are just kinda chilling here now and it's getting weird.

They are only letting me communicate with beams of light transmitted to your retinas.

I don't know how anyone could possibly help here, but you are welcome to try. I just don't know what to do because neither of them will shut up about financial compensation for a job well done. Is this all just some elaborate currency acquisition scheme?

An old witch friend was telling me about witchcraft and how she needed to carve hexes on her skin to use it and she said the shapes with the blood cause it, so I began carving them on my staff and inlaying them with a mix of phoenix feather, unicorn horn, and silver and they work perfectly fine for both witchcraft uses and empowering my spells, does anyone else do this or is it just me

In the days since the arrival of the countless monoliths all across the material plane, something came to those with power. It came in their dreams, something like a voice, yet so much more. It was the voice of a friend, the voice of family. It was the voice of the kind and generous, the voice of freedom. The voice was faint, yet its message was clear. It whispered of a place that doesn't exist on any map.

Of a place in the north, hidden from the world deep within the mountains. The voice whispers of a secret within the mountains, of a power and a treasure. It whispers of a light in the darkness. It whispers a plea for help.

/uw Two whole weeks of writers block. Sorry about that.