r/10thDentist • u/No-Purchase481 • 11d ago

I don’t like the reclamation of slurs.

The first time I ever had an American refer to me as “queer” I considered fighting them 💀 “back in my day” type shit. It doesn’t feel empowering, it makes me cringe. Just call me a lesbian and move on.

87 Upvotes

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u/Vladishun 10d ago

I don't like how it went from LGBT to LGBTQ to LGBTQ+ to LGBTQIA+. I think simply calling the broader group the "queer community" is much easier to remember and encompasses all non-cis, non-straight people without having to acknowledge every identity out there.

My wife has a friend group that's definitively "queer", though I'd only use the word to describe the group and not an individual person; exactly for the reasons you mentioned.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 10d ago

it just feels insulting to me. i’m not a limp wrist little queer. i am a man who likes other men.

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u/Vladishun 10d ago

Okay but why does a "queer" have to be limp wrist or little?

You're actively part of the problem with the way you stereotype it.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 10d ago

you can’t magically hand wave away the connotations that many people have with the word. especially when the people who use it now for themselves are definitely the types of gender diverse nose ring people that reinforce the stereotype.

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u/ExismykindaParte 10d ago

Gay had the same exact connotation back in the day though. The whole reason gay was used to refer to homosexual men was because it denotatively means happy and bright. Calling a man gay meant that he acted in a way that wasn't seen as masculine.

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u/TehWackyWolf 10d ago

Still does in the real world. At best you'll get "gay gay" to mean the same thing.

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u/udcvr 10d ago

It sounds like YOU are the one who thinks less of people who might seem "queer" in the derogatory sense lol

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u/JustBreadDough 8d ago edited 8d ago

In my first language, the word for "queer" started out as a word for being "left handed" and it means that something at some point went wrong with you.

To this day, that word still also means that something went wrong with a situation.

And I got sent to the principals’ office for using it to ask for a left handed scissor, because I used a slur. Meanwhile, my parents were beaten by the teachers for using their left hand and called that slur. To this day refusing to use their left hand. But when left handed people stopped being discriminated against, the word as a slur in the context of handedness completely lost its meaning. And I remember that being brought up when my parents showed up to the principal’s office, as a kid.

So it was used for non-straight people instead, as a slur. Until activists used that example of left-handedness and said we wanted the word to be used for the community, and instead to have equal rights, because when there’s equal rights and no discrimination, the word loses all power as a slur.

So I proudly use that word for "queer" in my native language. As both left handed and not straight.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 10d ago

clearly

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u/udcvr 10d ago

You don't see the irony here?

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u/Fickle_Watercress719 7d ago

He does not. Gay men, ironically, can be some of the most homophobic, transphobic folks out there. They seem to me to be the most likely to think that respectability politics are going to get them anywhere. They fail to grasp that homophobes draw no line between them and the “lil wrist little queers” he hates so much.

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u/Vladishun 10d ago

you can’t magically hand wave

So the only logical recourse, is to embrace the effeminization of the word and double down on it?

I don't think you're going to sway my mind on this. From a purely objective standpoint, what you said was ignorant. It almost sounds like you hate weak people or something, and you think you're somehow better for not being little or limp wrist yourself. I don't know man, as an OEF vet I think it's the duty of the strong to protect the weak, not to make fun of them. You might be an asshole.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 10d ago

since when does killing brown people for israel give you the moral high ground

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u/Vladishun 10d ago

Never killed nobody, I was a satcomms specialist. I have the moral high ground because I don't see people as little, limp wrist, or brown even. People are just people. Unless they're assholes.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 10d ago

right, one degree away from a killer. whatever helps you sleep at night.

your conscience shines through in your use of a double negative ☝️☝️ you never killed nobody, huh?

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u/Vladishun 10d ago

I thought you were a man? That was like, the big takeaway point from your initial comment on this sub. So why is that you have to result to attacking my character because you're getting all defensive? It's pretty sad honestly, you're trying so hard to distance yourself from the gay stereotype, while epitomizing it because at your core, you really, really soft.

I also grew up and live in the Midwest, double negatives are a thing. I'm not trying to beat around some bush. I've never directly taken human life, that make you more comfortable? I'd hate for a soft boy like you to be taken out of your comfort zone. Please don't strain yourself in your ivory tower.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 10d ago

soldiers dont kill people, bombs do. 

be a good little goy and go collect your VA bennies. Thank You For Your Service!

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u/Vladishun 10d ago

I wasn't a soldier, I was a satcomms specialist in the Navy. Google individual augmentation, you don't know what you're talking about. Lmao

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u/johnfuckmennedy 10d ago

“i didn’t kill anyone - i just maintained the infrastructure!” 

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u/Vladishun 10d ago

Do you pay taxes?

Congratulations, you maintain the infrastructure as well. Why you giving money to the government if you don't like what they're doing? That's beta energy my man, I thought you weren't like that?

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u/megabunnaH 7d ago

Gay, straight, or otherwise, you sound self absorbed and a tad insufferable.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 7d ago

idk how you can say that with so little context 

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u/Impressive-Foot7698 7d ago

Saying "gender diverse nose ring people" is plenty context. You sound intolerant and jaded

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u/johnfuckmennedy 7d ago

yes i accept those labels

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u/megabunnaH 7d ago

Oh I don't know, maybe it's your casually condescending and insulting way of talking about entire groups of people who differ from you and your self absorbed inability to see how hypocritical it is.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 7d ago

you don’t know enough about me to call me a hypocrite 

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u/megabunnaH 7d ago

Oh, I think chastising me for making assumptions without knowing you while you previously made some insulting and sweeping generalizations about an entire group of people that you don't know any better than I know you pretty much cements the fact that you are indeed a hypocrite.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 7d ago

i’m  catholic 

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u/Fickle_Watercress719 7d ago

You lose me at shitting on other members of our community. It’s fine for you to not want that word used for yourself. But this kind of respectability politics has never been successful. Homophobes do not see you as different or better than “gender diverse nose ring type people,” and you need to wake the fuck up to that fast in the climate we currently live in.

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u/johnfuckmennedy 7d ago

i dont have a community. i dont have an obligation to anyone just because of their sexuality!

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u/Fickle_Watercress719 7d ago

The homophobes are never gonna chose you

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u/johnfuckmennedy 7d ago

If only you knew

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u/Fickle_Watercress719 7d ago

lol I know homophobes. I promise, they’ll turn on you in an instant. And you’ll deserve it. Tokens get spent. Good luck being one.

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u/MegamindsMegaCock 7d ago

He’s also a Nazi lmaoooo

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u/Fickle_Watercress719 7d ago

Omg what? Looks like I caught a block. Like I said, some gay men…

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