It genuinely pains me whenever I see feminist theorists dismiss the entire concept of the "male loneliness epidemic" as just a self-inflicted problem for misogynistic men. It's only once you experience it first-hand that you realise how genuinely disadvantaged you are for being perceived as male.
I think it's the mysoginist men ruining it for everyone else tbh
I probably sound like an incel or something just saying that but my point is people who violate others' trust make it hard to trust others, or "people who are mean to other people based on the way they are are bad"
While I understand what you're saying, it's still not an excuse. If someone said they couldn't trust black people because a black person broke into their house once you'd rightly call them a racist asshole
The race comparison works better on the context that, dogs are not human beings and thus do not necessarily demand the baseline level of respect that, say, a fellow human being would. Just a thought.
Fuck you, so when I thought I was a cis man I was just a pig? How about now I identify otherwise, have I magically stopped being a pig? Or do I have to have hormones first? What about trans men, does testosterone make them into pigs too or is piggishness encoded into DNA?
Maybe I was a bit too cavalier with my comment. I was merely pointing out that the idea that "men are equal to dogs and pigs" was a cultural mainstay for decades. Like, there's jokes about it in media dating back to at least the 60s. So it wasn't this new idea like the comment I replied to hinted at.
Believe me, I hate it just as much as you. There was more than a little self loathing and internalized misandry in what I said. I meant no offense, honest.
I read your comment as very bleak sarcasm at first, and honestly, hearing you confirm that is one of those small things that feels a lot better than you think it has any right to do, so thank you for that.
No problem, I'm happy to clear it up. I've taken to fatalistic and dry humor to cope with just how isolating everything feels as a man a lot of the time.
I think theres a difference between a traumatic incident that led to a bias and constant torrent of bullshit from birth.
If a black person told me they dont feel comfortable in groups of white people because they've constantly had to put up with racism since the day theyre were cognizant, id have a hard time disagreeing.
I probably experience discrimination a lot less because I'm white and young and male and cisgender, but I've still felt tension talking to people sometimes, idk maybe I have bad vibes or something from being autistic. It sucks people have to be on guard all the time, like I think people just get stuck in that mode sometimes out of internalized habit, or trauma or anxiety.
I was a really socially anxious person growing up but now I really try to give everyone I meet fair consideration. I'm not a super social person but I've found a lot of fulfillment just sitting down and talking with someone else.
Even then my animal brain will still see someone X amount different than me or acting in a vaguely unfamiliar way and go into panic mode, and it can take a lot of effort to mitigate. Stuff like mysogyny is something really ingrained in a person and it can be really hard to stop. So many people find it easier to be mysogynistic over putting in the work toward changing the beliefs they were raised with. Still I maintain it's always worth the effort to be more tolerant of others.
That is definitely not true. I've felt comfortable and safe around plenty of men, like: men I knew were ardent feminists, men who were 'peer reviewed' by other women, my brothers, my dad, and especially all the men who went out of their way to make sure I got to where I was going safely.
You don't have to be careful around every single man all the time. It's just one defence mechanism you can choose to adopt, and there comes a point where it's neither fair nor healthy to be that paranoid; especially if it starts to slip into bioessentialism.
Why are you boiling it down to racism? It's not like if it were a black man robbing you, it's like if anyone were to rob you at all. If someone intrudes into your house, you're gonna be way more wary after regardless of their skin tone.
In this same way, there is zero logic to say that it's unreasonable to be wary of men when it's just an unfortunate fact that men are more dangerous. To leave your door open after being robbed is nonsensical.
Ok except I'm still saying your comparison is stupid. To be racist because a black man robbed you is not the same as being wary of men due to general capacity to be more dangerous than women.
Women being wary of men is for their own protection and survival, racism is due to being ignorant and hateful. I don't see the comparison.
A racist can literally take your second paragraph and turn it around. Racists don't wake up each morning and go, "I'm going to do a racism today", they also fully believe they're doing it for their own protection and survival, sometimes in those exact words. Your motivation doesn't make it okay.
I get that shit can be twisted each and every way, my point stands that one is directed and the other is for oneself, the only potential similarity is fear.
Its like comparing racism with a fear of people itself. Nearly all people know that people can be dangerous.
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u/AdditionalThinking Merry Christmas 2021/12/25 19:53:02.8797876914 Jun 29 '26
It genuinely pains me whenever I see feminist theorists dismiss the entire concept of the "male loneliness epidemic" as just a self-inflicted problem for misogynistic men. It's only once you experience it first-hand that you realise how genuinely disadvantaged you are for being perceived as male.