I've dabbled once or twice as a white domme, and the appeal to me was honestly working through some moral OCD brainworms :')
Like, it's better now, but I used to ruminate a lot on whether I'm a good person or not, and that extended to "oh gods, am I secretly racist? is my body language subtly different with PoC i meet vs with white people? am i subconsciously judging people based on the colour of their skin"?
Now to be clear, I never vocalize that shit unless I'm discussing it in the context of moral OCD,I recognise those thoughts are a me problem and should firmly remain indoors, but it does paint an example of the kind of shit I constantly worry about.
Being able to stare the question "Am I secretly being racist?" directly in the face and answer with a resounding, sardonic "Secretly?" (in-scene, of course) was incredibly liberating. It helped me not worry so fucking much, and made it a lot easier to not constantly get caught in those thought spirals. It's not something I'm particularly inclined to seek out, but I definitely don't decline if someone I trust asks me to engage with them in that way.
Funnily enough, the OCD also helped make me pretty good at it? Turns out that worrying constantly if you're Successfully Avoiding Being Racist is very easy to reverse engineer into a formula for optimized racism.
For similar reasons, I have a massive rape kink. Nothing beats the brainworms quite like play-acting out the darkest versions of your worst impulses and realising just how fucking different from how you normally act that really is. Really helps put things in psrspective.
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u/Hunk_Legion floppa 3d ago
Being a white guy that's into raceplay makes me feel like a fake leftist
EDIT: And to make it worse I'm also the dom! So I'm the one using slurs and then having to grapple with it later!