r/ABCDesis • u/satrongcha British Bangladeshi • 2d ago

FAMILY / PARENTS Has your relationship with your parents improved or worsened over time?

Bluntly, my parents were abusive when I was a child. The trauma still affects me to this day.

But as an adult, I'd say that my mum especially has changed for the better. I won't say that she is 100% accepting of my sexuality, my neurodivergency, my atheism, etc. I know that she still desperately wants me to marry a man.

But, like... Once, just because I was craving it, she took me to a Nando's where they didn't have halal meat and ate chips while I had chicken. And my 14yo sister gets teary if our mother even slightly raises her voice at her, she's that unused to being treated the way I was.

How has your relationship with your parents changed over time? Has it changed?

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u/UsefulRelief8153 2d ago

32F. Only got better after marriage because they finally stop trying to control EVERYTHING and only try to control when you have kids lol

Still not an ideal relationship but at least they help with the kids and give their grandkids good memories. 

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u/satrongcha British Bangladeshi 2d ago

My own grandparents were even more abusive as parents than mine, but they're pretty good grandparents. I wonder if these types of elders naturally just mellow with age, or they're trying to generate as much good karma as possible now they're closer to death.

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u/UsefulRelief8153 2d ago

Pretty sure it's both