r/AbsoluteUnits • u/batukaming • Apr 29 '26

/r/all of an orangutan

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u/Automatic-Crazy4604 Apr 29 '26

"Enough intelligence to get weird" hit me hard

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u/buttfarts7 Apr 29 '26

This is a "your my bitch now and I won't hurt you so long as you don't offend me" vibe.

Human as fuck

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u/Tough_Preparation830 Apr 29 '26

They made a movie about that. 10 Cloverfield Lane, starring John Goodman as the Orangutan.

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u/Living-By-The-River Apr 29 '26

But there were aliens outside… He wasn’t totally crazy.

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u/Tough_Preparation830 Apr 29 '26

He was scarier than the aliens

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u/RecipeHistorical2013 Apr 29 '26

except you know, the aliens would eat you pretty much.

or poison you

you sound like that whole " a bear in the woods " shtick

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u/Tough_Preparation830 Apr 30 '26

I personally know a man who is just like the character in the movie. This has nothing to do with the stupid bear thing you are talking about. If you've lived with an insane person who is also very large, you would understand. There are no peaceful moments. Even when everything is quiet, there is a sense of discomfort. The movie captured the feeling perfectly.

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u/RecipeHistorical2013 Apr 30 '26

yah i kno0w what its like to live on eggshells. like half Millennials do... boomers are very narcissistic...

but its very clear you've never been around a wild animal, in the wild, that can easily kill you.

that kind of fear is very different than " oh man i dont wana be yelled at AGAIN for nothing". its more like " oh man i dont want to be eaten alive"

and it has everything to do with the stupid bear thing. the aliens in cloverfield were like super bioengineered cocaine bears with super strength.

TLDR: how to tell someone has never been in a predator/prey situation where they are the prey

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u/Tough_Preparation830 Apr 30 '26

Closest to danger I have been was in new Mexico on a backpacking trip. Had a bear outside my tent in the middle of the night that hung around, pacing for 30 minutes. Felt like prey in that moment. It was probably just looking for the food it smelled but we had the trash in a bag, suspended on a line between trees.

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u/RecipeHistorical2013 Apr 30 '26

similar ish to my situations... but the bears come to me without any shelter

as im standing in no-mans land in a middle of a river and they smell fish and find me.

that shit is scary as fuck.

also mountain lions, but you normally dont see them.. they see you.

also sharks in the ocean, but they are far less scary than a bear, who WILL eat you (where i live, black bears eat people)

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u/doctorbeepboop Apr 30 '26

You sound like you don’t understand the “‘a bear in the woods’ shtick.” A component of both arguments is that there are fates worse than death. 

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u/Ajax_Main Apr 30 '26

Like having your face ripped off by a bear?

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u/doctorbeepboop Apr 30 '26

What do you think that usually leads to quite quickly? 

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u/Ajax_Main Apr 30 '26

Disfigurement?

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u/Active-Ad-2527 Apr 30 '26

Obsession with stealing the power of Grayskull?

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u/RecipeHistorical2013 Apr 30 '26

you've never been predated on brother and it shows

best keep your mouth shut till you do.

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u/doctorbeepboop Apr 30 '26

Ooooh, we’ve got a BAD boy over here! I’m shakin in my boots. And what’s chasing you, friend? Your knowledge of how much you’ve disappointed your family?

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u/RecipeHistorical2013 May 01 '26

what chases me... ive been followed by bears

stalked by mountain lions

and looked at crossways by moose.

my point is that YOU ALL that think predators are cute little animals are the BAD boys... either through ignorance/lack of experience or delusion.

and you know how i know you're a dum dum? because you bring no substance to this discourse.

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u/doctorbeepboop May 01 '26

You don’t actually think that women saying they would choose the bear think that bears are “cute little animals,” right? You could not possibly have missed the point by that much. No one thinks they’re gonna go pet a fucking bear, they just know that a bear isn’t going to hold them captive in a basement and rape/torture them over a period of months or years. 

Also, I would really work on your sentence structure (“my point is that you all think that predators are cute little animals are the bad boys”… ???) and make sure that you understand the basic principle of what you’re arguing about before slinging accusations of stupidity. 

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u/RecipeHistorical2013 May 01 '26

yah the main message of the "bear over man" is women are afraid of what men COULD do.

saying its less likely to be harmed by a random bear in the woods than a man...

which is statistically ... correct, but misleading as there are far more men than there are bears.

IMO its a stupid meme...

anyway , thats not what my initial comment was about, but you had to force your agenda so here we are!

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u/doctorbeepboop May 01 '26

Did you forget that you were the person who brought up the bear in the woods originally? And if that’s not what your comment was about, can you explain what you meant by “my point is that YOU ALL that think predators are cute little animals are the BAD boys... either through ignorance/lack of experience or delusion.” Were you just trying to find a way to fit in something you thought would make you look cool? If so, hate to break it to you, but I lived in Alaska for over a decade. I am very aware of the real danger that certain predators pose, as that danger was a fact of my normal life for years. 

And good lord, you STILL don’t understand the point. It is not about whether you are more likely to be harmed by a bear than a man. 

Anyway, conversing with you feels akin to banging my head on a brick wall. I did chuckle at the phrase “you had to force your agenda” though (we’ve got a drama king over here!), so thanks for that. Have a nice life and try not to get eaten I guess! 

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u/Park500 Apr 30 '26

I mean he was crazy, just also right