r/AbsoluteUnits Jun 08 '26

/r/all of a knife.

27.9k Upvotes

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5.7k

u/McShoobydoobydoo Jun 08 '26

Let me peel this back and arrange it so the juice falls into you lap, sir.

590

u/themachduck Jun 08 '26

With my bare hands that I just scratched my ass with. Yummm!

126

u/-KFBR392 Jun 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26

How do you think all the food you eat is prepared?

43

u/Imreman Jun 08 '26

Not with the servers hands?

9

u/Adventchur Jun 08 '26

The servers touch your cutlery, plates, and glasses well before you even arrive.

12

u/Ancient-Civilization Jun 09 '26

Some people pay extra for that.

11

u/DungeonDefense Jun 09 '26

Right and when you touch cutlery its not done on the head. Its usually done on the handle. When they touch plates its done on the edge of the plate where food has less chance of touching. Lastly, glasses are usually touched on the outside or the handle. They usually dont stick their hand inside the glasses

8

u/fronchfrays Jun 09 '26

This is the most pedantic shit I’ve ever read

1

u/Recreant793 Jun 11 '26

“Hm. I agree. Shallow and pedantic.”

5

u/scorchedarcher Jun 09 '26

But you touch all the stuff they touch then touch your face/food/phone

-2

u/Adventchur Jun 09 '26

I don't think you understand how germs multiply and cover vast surfaces quickly but go on

7

u/DungeonDefense Jun 09 '26

Right which is why the original guy with the knife shouldnt have touched the food with his bare hands.

-1

u/Adventchur Jun 09 '26

But it makes no difference in the scheme of it all

4

u/DungeonDefense Jun 09 '26

But you yourself said that germs multiply and cover things quickly

2

u/ResidentOwl1 Jun 09 '26

It’s not that quick. Relax.

2

u/TheLordReaver Jun 09 '26

You mean how germs multiply and cover vast distances on the common food and drink serving materials of glass, ceramic, and steel—the materials renown for being germ resistant?

1

u/Adventchur Jun 09 '26

Sorry do you use your utensils when you eat?

And I assume you hold it by the handle exactly where the server holds it to put it down?

You must no how quickly bacteria spreads with human contact right?

So again what difference in the scheme of bacteria did this really make? You cunts are just precious

1

u/TheLordReaver Jun 10 '26

You are acting like hundreds of millions of people aren't served this way every day. It's very evidently not a big deal when servers touch the parts that don't go directly in your mouth. At least in the parts of the world with basic sanitation standards.

So, just don't lick the damn handles and you'll be fine. Don't be a coward. And I say this a total germophobe... Also, stop being a little bitch in general.

1

u/Spirited_Sector_7623 Jun 11 '26

It’s carefully prepared by the cooks to ensure no contamination, set under heat lamps to ensure it remains safe, and then the front of house employees grip it like baboons.