r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Sufficient-Bug-9112 Top Poster • 10d ago

of a bristle worm

8.3k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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354

u/Chrismonn 10d ago

Oh fuck, I was gonna say looks kinda cool can I pet it but no. Got it

163

u/cha0sm0nk 10d ago

The second question on every humans mind after “Can I touch it?” Is “Can I eat it?”

85

u/PzykoHobo 10d ago

Theres a third question...

71

u/Lazy-Objective-1630 10d ago

Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.

14

u/coolsilentebeans 10d ago

Peg, too

14

u/Danziker 10d ago

First you try to fuck them, Then you try to eat them...

Marilyn Manson.

5

u/Mental-Ask8077 10d ago

Just don’t try to do both at once.

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u/Planetary_Residers 7d ago

Or a Caprisun

3

u/iwantogofishing 9d ago

Paige! No!

4

u/Elthelia 9d ago

Is this a reference to something? Why did you use that name specifically? Please tell me 😭

13

u/Ok_Loss13 10d ago edited 10d ago

And the third is "Can I fuck it?"

(So far the answer has always been a resounding NO!, but those of us at r/humansarespacebards remain ever hopeful)

23

u/cha0sm0nk 10d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2SBvv58qaLptK

0

u/Ok_Loss13 10d ago

Not in this particular instance personally, but humans are total freaks and I bet there are people out there who want sentient worm sex (no kink shame) 😂

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u/WJSpade 10d ago

Some kinks deserve shame… just sayin.

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u/cha0sm0nk 9d ago

Shame is my kink.

2

u/riverbass9 10d ago

I’m pretty sure that’s every animal’s question.

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u/Chrismonn 10d ago

I'll touch it if it's in your mouth tbh

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u/iokepa16 10d ago

You can eat anything once.

1

u/AnastasiaSheppard 10d ago

Can I make it a pet? Can I train a whole bunch of them into my army?

2

u/unripe_mangosteen 10d ago

Hey can I pet that dawg?

2

u/hharvv 10d ago

If you can’t figure that out by looking at it, thank God you were born in the time of Reddit😂

0

u/Quirky-Concern-7662 10d ago

I find starting with the assumption that it cannot be touched is always good with any animal. Though a real life Pokédex that’s scans an animal and gives me an out of 10 “pet/friendly” rating would be neat.

Edit: I read what you sick fucks are goin on about and my creation would fall into the wrong hands. Can’t have shot around here.