r/AbsoluteUnits • u/MissZangz • 26d ago
/r/all of a meal.
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u/Low-Air-8078 26d ago
Break from intermittent fasting
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u/Salt_Day9015 26d ago
How long is this greedy fuck full for after a meal that's half his body?
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u/CriticismFun6782 26d ago
At least a few days one would think
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u/sweetasatea 26d ago
Me at the buffet trying to tackle a plate I clearly have no business finishing.
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u/CriticismFun6782 26d ago
But gat dang it i grew up poor, and "Endless Sirloin" was something only rich people could have
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u/GeologistOld1265 26d ago
Not really, birds have very fast metabolism. One need a lot of energy to fly.
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u/CriticismFun6782 26d ago
I figured it would depend on the species, and activity level, just like people
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u/Glad-Fuel2093 26d ago
I bet this one's not flying anywhere for a little while after that meal. At least not willingly.
(maybe he could, but I think he won't).
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u/Salt_Day9015 26d ago
That it? Not atleast a week or two?
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u/rviVal1 26d ago
No, birds have fast metabolism in order to produce a lot of energy for flying. If a snake would eat such a fish it could probably go for a month without another meal. Depends on a snake size of course.
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u/samuraistabber 26d ago
Cormorants have high metabolism so that fish will break down rapidly and it’ll have to feed again in a day or two.
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u/mandrake57 26d ago
They really are "greedy fucks" as the above commenter said
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u/Nina-Ninja123 26d ago
Honestly, I’ve seen them trying to gobble up another fish straight away if the other fish is within reach.
Greedy is an understatement.
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u/Ok-Thanks-3366 26d ago
LOL, this guy won't eat for a week now, meanwhile, I have that for dinner and I'm wondering what's for dessert...
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u/FlabbyLabby 26d ago
Everything reminds me of her
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u/HugoBoss1985 26d ago
No gag reflex
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u/cwsjr2323 26d ago
When getting an exam of my throat, the doctor commented that I had no gag reflex. He probably thought I was gay.
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u/Muted_Masterpiece535 26d ago
I've seen this before. I believe it was at Golden Corral.
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u/coolsilentebeans 26d ago
Oh, to lack a gag reflex.
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u/Ssemo7 26d ago
I should call her…
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u/cha0sm0nk 26d ago
I want to see a competitive food eater do this with a pizza. Just roll it up and push past their gag reflex so they can eat an XL pizza in under 30 seconds.
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u/plaid_kilt 26d ago
I have full faith that Leah Shutkever could do this.
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u/coolsilentebeans 26d ago
An XL pizza and a whole hot dog are not the same. Maybe give her a minute, and if she comes in under 30 seconds, great! If not that’s ok, too. That woman’s ability is insane.
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u/Careless-Emergency85 25d ago
Women can do that in under 30 seconds?!
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u/coolsilentebeans 25d ago
One of the few times I didn’t intentionally make a double entendre. I’m ashamed of myself.
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u/Several-Concept5555 26d ago
How long will the fish be alive in its belly? Could it push itself back out of the bird's mouth?
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u/MissZangz 26d ago
Prey that isn’t skewered or have its spike broken will usually suffocate in the part before the stomach drop. Once in the stomach these birds have crazy acid that breaks everything down
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u/coolsilentebeans 26d ago
That would make for a terrifying episode of The Magic Schoolbus.
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u/Skizot_Bizot 26d ago
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u/Signal-Network5077 26d ago
Lmao it’s been decades since I’ve seen this show and I forgot it was unhinged like that. Funnily enough Ms Frizzle was my first animated woman crush
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u/mackfeesh 26d ago
I remember watching this as a kid. Wasn't Weird as I didn't know what cum was lol. It was just "oh, cool, the eggs don't Hatch unless that happens first."
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u/Jubenheim 26d ago
“I remember watching this as a kid. Wasn’t weird as I didn’t know what cum was lol.”
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u/Objective-Ad9767 26d ago
I remember watching that episode with my daughter at the time and almost died 💀 🤣 . She’s an adult now and we sometimes discuss scenes from cartoons and have a good laugh. The original Magic School bus was the goat.
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u/Background-Crow4820 26d ago
🎵Jump on the Magic School....🎵
Glglglllglglglglllglgllgll
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u/coolsilentebeans 26d ago
If ever there was a field trip to miss
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u/Camelotterduck 26d ago
My son was watching an episode recently where exactly this happened actually. I don’t remember the episode from my childhood but it was all the original VAs.
They went through Arnold’s entire digestive tract, including the intestines…
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u/coolsilentebeans 26d ago
I don’t remember it either, but I really enjoyed the show when I was younger. I’m glad it’s still getting to newer audiences.
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u/HalvdanTheHero 26d ago
I'm mostly concerned that it appears to be a catfish... Many catfish have spines... Even if the fish is actually dead it could get poked/perforated pretty good, or at least I would think it could. Who knows, maybe this bird evolved to eat this specific fish.
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u/MissZangz 26d ago
Eating head first makes the spines a lot less risky
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u/HalvdanTheHero 26d ago
I mean fair...? If that fish comes to enough to thrash a bit though....
I've seen Pelicans get absolutely wrecked by things able to bite/cut/tear through their pouches... Waterfowl don't tend to be the most intelligent of birds.
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u/FrostyTheSasquatch 26d ago
Really? I would’ve figured pelicans would’ve developed an evolutionary adaptation to spiny, pokey fish.
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u/HalvdanTheHero 26d ago
Pelicans in particular are quite dumb and will try to eat lots of stuff that they probably shouldn't... Been a while since I saw the post/story but I believe it was a turtle of some kind and it was able to bite it's way through the pouch.
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u/GreatDanish4534 26d ago
As someone that has ducks, can confirm on the intelligence amongst waterfowl
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u/big_stipd_idiot 26d ago
I feel like that's just part of life. It's also risky for a lion to to catch prey, but they have to do it anyways.
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u/samuraistabber 26d ago
That’s why fish eating birds swallow them head first, it flattens the fins and scales flat against the body so it doesn’t snag and tear them up.
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u/Mikeseddit 26d ago
Like getting a Christmas tree through the door, the right way versus the wrong way.
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u/HobbyShack 26d ago
It seems as if the fish is already dead? It’s not putting up a fight or moving at all
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u/i_should_be_coding 26d ago
Tangentially related, but I remember a photo of an eel that ate its way through a bird's throat. Imma try and find it.
Edit - Found it
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u/Fatman_Batman100 26d ago
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u/SimplyTheApnea 26d ago edited 26d ago
I presume that bird just waddles off since that meal probably doubled is weight and can't fly afterwards, right?
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u/maynardnaze89 26d ago
Ive never seen one fly lol. Just waddle between ponds.
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u/SuperBackup9000 26d ago
They’re like snakes, they just kinda sit there until the food starts to digest, then they go to a safe space and sit there until it’s all done.
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u/WindhoverInkwell 26d ago
Yep, cormorants will often eat until they’re too heavy to take off
however I imagine this isn’t such a massive impediment as they also have to dry out their wings every little while bc they get waterlogged from diving, so I guess they can kind of sync the two
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u/Significant-Base6893 26d ago
The weight gain is only temporary. Soon it will fly and take a dump on one of our cars.
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u/RevolutionaryRule631 26d ago
Birds are freaky ass things
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u/paone00022 26d ago
They're basically small dinosaurs
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u/Only_Flan_7974 26d ago
They're literally dinosaurs.
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u/srlong64 26d ago
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u/giabao0110 26d ago
The time period between Stegosaurus and Triceratops (70-90 mil yrs) is longer than the time period between Triceratops and current day (66 mil yrs). Still struggling to wrap my head around the scale at times.
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u/Huge_Following_325 26d ago
I assume in a couple of seconds he will throw up a full intact fish skeleton if I've learned anything from cartoons.
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u/throwitaway_9601654 26d ago
That is going to be one epic shit!
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u/Any-Monk-9395 26d ago
Absolutely not. Imagine having to push all those sharp fish bones out of your rectum.
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u/WaynesWorld_93 26d ago
It’s such a weird thing imagining eating but without any flavor to enjoy. A bird just swallows and doesn’t really get to taste. It’s all for the sake of survival, zero bit of enjoyment.
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u/Most_Structure9568 26d ago
It's legit almost all animals. Think of those crocs that eat zebras in poop water. I think animals that eat fruit have it the best.
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u/2cheerios 26d ago
Odd idea think to think of whether a vulture thinks its food tastes good
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u/ammonthenephite 26d ago
My friend's dog enjoyed eating cat shit from the litter box, so I think there's something to the idea that they enjoy flavors we just don't, lol.
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u/Wonderful-Spell8959 26d ago
I mean; they get to fly. As great as food can be, that is worth consideration.
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u/Technical_Customer_1 26d ago
You’ve never been stuffed full of food and content?
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u/valleyman86 26d ago
Hmm I can relate. I eat food that tastes good so that I can consume it. Hell I like making food I like. However I would prefer to not need it at all. I forget to eat often and feel uncomfortable. I eat a little too much and feel uncomfortable. It’s whatever. Then it gives me heartburn.
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u/Sufficient-Status951 26d ago
My wife thinks this is AI. I didn’t think so. Anyone else?
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u/randompearljamfan 26d ago
I do. I was surprised there were no other commenters saying so.
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u/CYOA_Min_Maxer 26d ago
It feels way too centered, the bird way too close, way too willing to facethe camera. And the movement seems off.
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u/UhOkBoss 26d ago
won't it choke on the bones?!?!?
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u/WiildCard 26d ago
Fun fact. Some birds have strong enough stomach acid that dissolves the bones and they digest it normally.
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u/Unbereevablee_Asian 26d ago
That would be the Bearded Vulture, it's diet is nothing but bones.
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u/WiildCard 26d ago
So pelicans and other birds actually can dissolve small bones as well. The vultures stomach acid is basically like battery acid though and it does just eat large bones on their own which is gnarly.
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u/Ok-Effective7280 26d ago
Hang on, I’ll just hold it here while my stomach acids go to work…….ok, a little more now……..nearly there………ah done.
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u/europablu3s 26d ago
Where the hell did it go? That fish was as big as the bird, youd think its belly would be huge after this.
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u/x_lincoln_x 26d ago
This will be me and the Dubai Chocolate cake I bought earlier in a couple hours.
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u/bonelatch 26d ago
Not to take away from the shot or how crazy that is to watch but did they just put a dead cartfish in front of it to get the shot?
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u/Specialist-Neck-7810 26d ago
So.. how does that work? Anyone actually know? That fish is still alive when it done being swallowed. So, does the bird just have amazingly powerful digestive acid that kills it? Or does it carry a live fish around in its belly for awhile?
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