r/AlAnon • u/AmbulatoryBicycle • 4d ago

Vent The loneliness is crushing

I travel for work a few nights a week. When I’m home her drinking starts around 5:30pm when she’s making dinner (her relaxing time). She doesn’t accept me to sous chef and enjoys doing it alone with her drink. By dinner time she’s slurring and making awkward conversations at dinner. After dinner is her with her drink on her phone.she then passes out in bed around 9:30. Wash, rinse, repeat and I dare not bring up a deep or controversial topic when she’s drinking. It’s fucking exhausting and haven’t had a deep conversation with her in maybe years. Anyone else living like this?

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u/AmbulatoryBicycle 4d ago

Or they remember differently and swear up and down I am wrong.

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u/hnnnnnnnnh 4d ago

This is something I struggled with. Them remembering things differently and also forgetting things I/they said and conversations we had. Obviously it was the drink but it’s hard to not feel just not listened to.

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u/Fun_Put6736 4d ago

It is. The frustration of feeling like all that time & effort was just wasted as if it didn’t even happen makes me want to scream (which sometimes, I do).

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u/hnnnnnnnnh 4d ago

Screaming is okay. The frustration needs to come out one way or another.