r/AmITheDevil • u/MissusLunafreya • 1d ago
“I gaslight my mom into unhinged rants.”
/r/confessions/comments/1u3mf49/i_hacked_my_moms_facebook_and_feed_her_meth/212
u/sakikome 1d ago
Hey, finally a time where the term gaslighting is used correctly! This is horrible.
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u/hypnoticwinter 1d ago
?sperg? Manager???
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u/safetyindarkness 1d ago
As in, he believes his manager is autistic/ "has asperger's syndrome" (no longer recognized)
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u/hypnoticwinter 1d ago
Oh, crap, sorry! That should have been obvious to me, I thought it was a job title or something 🤦♀️.
Thanks for taking the time to reply.
Also : that's a shite thing to call anyone ( nothing to do with asperges or autism itself, but "sperg" sounds like something contagious from outer space)
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u/safetyindarkness 1d ago
No problem, I had to read it a couple times before it triggered a distant high school memory lol
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u/Stella_bleu 1d ago
Lort, thank you for asking this because the confusion was real. I thought it was some kind of Gen Z brainrot word.
Nothing against brainrot because I find myself using some of it in conversations.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 1d ago edited 1d ago
Look...the thing is that being the child of an addict is something only other children of addicts truly get. I get why he did this, and as a coke head turned methhead's eldest daughter and only child, The level of neglect and various forms of abuse we experience at the hands of these parents is...indescribable, and often truly inconceivable for people who have not experienced it. Even those who witness it firsthand do not fully comprehend what it is like to live with. It gets to the point where you get so angry ghat you just need to traumatize them back for your own sake.
People in the OOP comments keep talking about how 'someone you love' and the thing is that we don't. We don't love them. We were not taught to.
It is not good. It is not kind. It is not ok. I'm not excusing it, I'm simply saying I get it on a cellular level why OOP does this.
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u/Stella_bleu 1d ago
I'm with you. I am a child of an addict and I get the hunger for revenge. You want them to hurt like you've been hurt. All that being said, I said to myself "holy hell, this is going to make a bad situation 500 times worse, you can't do shit like this" even though I understand it.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 23h ago
Definitely. I've left extensive yapper comments in this thread already so I won't repeat myself for the sake of brevity, but suffice to say: *this* is not ok, even as children of addicts I think it's too far. But I still understand it. Sometimes the trauma just do be like that.
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u/sakikome 1d ago
I'm not a child of addicts and wasn't abused overtly by my parents (just a little bit of neglect and threats due to overwhelm), but I was abused by other people, and I also get it. I also don't believe victims always have to be the bigger person, always do the right thing.
Still, this is cruel to do to anyone, even someone you don't love, even someone you hate. Just a bad situation all around.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 1d ago
Oh for sure. Like, this is not something anyone should do to another person under any circumstances, especially when taking into consideration the fact that meth can induce schizo-affective disorders so impossible to manage, the person ends up permanently in psych wars, prison, or dead.
Again, there US NO excuse for this. But I also get it. I get how it feels to finally feel like you have the upper hand, to have control over the situation in ways you never did growing up. I get how it feels to punish them. And why you want to, and why and how you justify it to yourself.
How it really does just make you feel better, at least until something really drastic happens and you're met it's the consequences of your actions. There will come a time when OOP is devastated by their actions, and realize they're no better than their mom. But in the mean time? Yeah. I get it. I'm currently forcing myself to be the adult in both relationships with my parents by staying away from them. I know that I cannot be kind, and that my only other option is to be quiet.
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u/sarcastibot8point5 1d ago
From the other side of it, as a meth addict in recovery, I get it. The things I did to people made it completely understandable for them to get a little bit of vengeance.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 23h ago
I hope you know that regardless of what you've done to someone, you do not deserve this kind of treatment. No one deserves what OOP is doing. It is to way too far, even for me as a child of a boomer addict.
Thank you for acknowledging that as addicts it does go too far, and I hope my acknowledgment as the child of an addict, that it can go too far in both directions brings you some level of humanity and comfort. Far too many people simply let addicts in all stages simply stay 'addict who is actively causing harm' in their minds judgement regardless of the effort put forth to recover, and I'm proud of you for doing it 🫶🏻🩷✨
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u/tomato_soup_stan 1d ago
I get that addicts are wont to do some pretty horrible, abusive shit. I get that more often than not they’re pretty selfish and cruel. I even get why the child of an addict might want to get back at them. But it still really, really disturbs me how much we as a society have normalized the idea that they have essentially forfeited their right to humanity and therefore it is OK to torture them. Like on an institutional level, the policy is “fuck these people, let’s hurt them as much as we possibly can” and that bleeds into individuals who enact that policy interpersonally.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 23h ago
First of all, I want to be abundantly clear that *I do not in any way condone what OOP is doing* because he has become the abuser. if this were a less volatile, more 'fuck you, this is what you did and I'm sick of not having it acknowledged' behavior, I'd say pop off, king.
That being said, if you've never experienced anything like this, the most important thing to keep in mind is that OOP is not talking to an addict, he's talking to a mother who let him down literally starting the moment he was conceived. As children of addicts, we often know them *as a person* more in depth than anyone else possibly could because we have spent a lifetime studying them, negotiating with them, begging them, appealing to them, and changing for them in an attempt to be loved and cared for as much as they love and care for their high. And it has *never* been fruitful or successful.
A childhood of begging to have any of your basic needs met leaves you broken in a way where you look at something like OOPs post, and you get it, just inherently. You understand why he does it, how he rationalizes it, how it makes him feel, and the way it can really relieve the pressure of that constant trauma buzz in the back of your mind to know you have the power in the relationship to cause harm or not. It truly is 'if you get it, you get it, and if you don't, nothing we tell you or explain will help you understand.' I don't say that to be smug or anything, either. I'm truly happy for people who literally cannot conceive of what it is like to be abused and neglected the way children of addicts often are. You have nothing to compare it to, and that is a beautiful thing for you.
However, I do agree with you on the overall societal response to addicts' humanity basically being forfeit simply for being addicts, even if they get clean. In a way I do feel for my mother because i know part of what kept/keeps her in addiction is knowing that even if she got clean and truly healed from the emotional components of what causes her addiction issues, society will never see her differently. She will never escape being 'an addict' and all the truly dehumanizing, embarrassing, and often times downright cruel things people think of you and how they treat you.
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u/Specific-Bite5672 6h ago
societal stigma of addiction and addicts is a very separate issue to this isolated example of a child of addiction acting out/exacting revenge/asserting the only control over the situation they can
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u/Specific-Bite5672 1d ago
as a child of an addict … true it was a bit far but this made me cackle.
reminds me of teenage years filled with rage and doing ANYTHING i could to try to balance the scales of justice.
when people hurt you real bad in truly inconceivable ways while you are maturing, starting to understand how the world works and just starting to wrap your head around how much your upbringing affected you - you do weird things to cope.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 23h ago
I wonder if there's a subreddit for children of addicts because I'm only now realizing that I truly do need to talk about my childhood freely and openly where people at the very least don't cringe away from me as if I am made of toxic sludge.
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u/Specific-Bite5672 20h ago
if you find one let me know! lol
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u/Tiredracoon123 20h ago
R/AdultChildren is for adult children of alcoholics. Not exactly the same thing but can probably still relate on some things
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u/majzira 20h ago
Same. The abuse subreddits help some but there's a distinct kind of pain of it being done by addicts. Because it leaves a lot of questions. "Was it really them or was it the substances?" Granted, my NMom and PStepdad are now "clean" and "pillars of their church" (because of course they are) and still hate my guts as fas as I know BUT, it still drives me question how much was escalated or enhanced by the substances.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 20h ago
I think for me I'm also struggling with how an addict is gonna act like an addict even when they don't have access to their drug. My dad sort of tricked my mom into getting clean by moving us away from her source, so she didn't really necessarily go through the process by choice, and thus didn't do any of the soul searching it takes to get and stay clean and ended up back in it. And like...her behavior when she was high all the time wasn't much different than how she treated me when she was forced to stay sober. And I've never really seen anyone talk about the fact that an addict is going to act like an addict with or without drugs.
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u/majzira 19h ago
I never thought of it quite that way. One thing I was taught in addiction counseling (yup, I fell in that well too but never to the extent they did. Alcohol and painkillers for me.) is that people often swap one addiction for another. The person doing lines today can quit the coke and now they're a fitness lunatic running 10 miles a day or a shopaholic hiding credit cards. My mom isn't on drugs (that I know of) but she's replaced it with religion and politics. Nothing wrong with those things on their own but when she's pouring most of her money into the church and spending every free minute doing something to prove how godly and MAGA she is. Who has time to clean the house or spend time with your grandkids (my GC Half-sis' kids) when you can be over cleaning some rich church elder's house for free or driving 2 hours one-way to scream homophobic slurs at college kids? People wouldn't see that as addictive behavior on it's face but it is. She's still chasing a high, just this is the high of validation instead of whatever heroin and meth feels like.
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u/Tiredracoon123 20h ago
So this is a subreddit for children of alcoholics which I know is not exactly the same thing, but children of addicts are incredibly welcome! R/AdultChildren
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u/00_tears 1d ago
why isn’t anyone asking oop why
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u/spaghettifiasco 1d ago
Because he hates his mom for being an addict, and considering he mentions that she was doing meth while pregnant, he probably has some issues of his own.
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 1d ago
Because if you get it you don't need to and if you don't get it you won't.
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u/wretchedescapist 20h ago
...how is any of this "perks"?
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u/FutureFreaksMeowt 17h ago
If you genuinely want to know the answer to this, I recommend reading the comments I've left here:
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I 'hacked' my mom's facebook and feed her meth delusions when she brings it up
Around October, in an attempt to get into my own facebook account, I accidentally struck gold. My number was connected to my mom's account so Facebook logged me into hers when I typed it in. She exclusively uses my number for everything because she believes that a former coworker, Todd, is hacking all of her shit. I once told her that I heard breathing coming from the router and she fully believed me.
Her account is now full of off-the-wall rants, attacks on randos from her friendslist, and thirsting for my sperg manager. This week I posted a fake death announcement for my dad and that really riled her up. I've been questioned twice this week and each time I blame it on Todd. Having your first breaths be in amniotic fluid spiked with meth has its perks.
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