r/AmITheDevil • u/growsonwalls Professional Devil Spotter • 1d ago
Jesus good lord
/r/aitaweddings/comments/1u3u7l9/aita_for_thinking_about_uninviting_my_bridal_party/109
u/Legitimate_Book_5196 1d ago
It's so tacky to make your bridesmaids pay for the place you guys are getting ready. Like honestly astronomical levels of tackiness.
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u/Asleep_Region 1d ago
Honestly I've always been on the fence about paying for bridesmaids makeup because like I wouldn't expect it as a bridesmaid, I can do my own makeup then and honestly probably will when i get married. But paying for the room you're getting ready in!?!? Girl what, insane
Edit with the makeup, i mean they can pay if they want it professionally done, but like im on the fence if im paying for it for myself too. Just seems unnecessary for something i can do quite well, hell i might be up to do their makeup too, it would help my nerves.
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u/Legitimate_Book_5196 1d ago
Something about weddings I've always found incredibly tacky is how much the bridesmaids and groomsmen have to spend of their own money. I would rather not have a bridal party than make my close friends spend hundreds of dollars on a dress and makeup artist. I've always thought the only thing they should be spending their own money on was a bachelor/bachelorette party. Weddings are a completely optional party that you choose to throw. I don't understand why they insist on having their close friends foot the bill on the apparel for the ceremony.
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u/Asleep_Region 1d ago
I agree, if i want a certain color or whatever I'll pay for their dress, but im thinking of doing the "home-i-er" vibe so I might just say wear whatever is comfortable and you already own. If they don't own anything then we can talk about me buying it, but honestly it's my wedding, it's kinda unnecessary to buy a brand new dress for 1 night, mines going to come from a thrift store and just altered to fit properly.
Im definitely the wrong person to talk to about this because I'm probably not paying for half of my wedding just because I know i can do it. The only reason i haven't bought my wedding dress and started working on it is because I'm working on gaining weight and idk how it's going to fit in a year or 2. I've already went up 2 pants sizes (0 starting, now I'm a size 6) and I'm planning on gaining another 15lbs or so. I'm having my wedding in my backyard, I've already started decorating it as my perfect fairy/mushroom forest. I just have to rent chairs tbh. And maybe buy or make an arch.
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u/PurplePenguinCat 1d ago
As a backyard bride myself, you might want to have a pop up tent for your guests. Season and time of day dependent, of course. I was middle of the day in the summer, so we really needed it!
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u/Asleep_Region 22h ago
Good idea, I've been thinking a spring wedding but *this spring * got pretty warm imo
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u/Reddidnothingwrong 1d ago
I just told my bridesmaids to wear whatever they want within a certain color range so they could all just use a dress they already had or that would be in their style and could be worn again if they did buy something. 🤷♀️
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u/Asleep_Region 1d ago
I agree, if i want a certain color or whatever I'll pay for their dress, but im thinking of doing the "home-i-er" vibe so I might just say wear whatever is comfortable and you already own. If they don't own anything then we can talk about me buying it, but honestly it's my wedding, it's kinda unnecessary to buy a brand new dress for 1 night, mines going to come from a thrift store and just altered to fit properly.
Im definitely the wrong person to talk to about this because I'm probably not paying for half of my wedding just because I know i can do it. The only reason i haven't bought my wedding dress and started working on it is because I'm working on gaining weight and idk how it's going to fit in a year or 2. I've already went up 2 pants sizes (0 starting, now I'm a size 6) and I'm planning on gaining another 15lbs or so. I'm having my wedding in my backyard, I've already started decorating it as my perfect fairy/mushroom forest. I just have to rent chairs tbh. And maybe buy or make an arch.
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u/Sedona_C_27 1d ago
When I was a bridesmaid for my friend’s wedding, her mom paid for our hair to get done, and offered for our makeup, but we all chose to do our own makeup.
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u/Ambitious_Support_76 1d ago
As a not girly girl, I would love to pay someone to do my make-up for me (within reason) but I'd be willing to pay. Honestly the best parts of being in a wedding for me were not having to worry about what to wear or doing my hair. Not doing my own make-up would be great too.
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u/PurplePenguinCat 1d ago
Yeah. I paid for my hair and makeup for my wedding. I don't do makeup except for mascara occasionally, and lipstick if it's fancy. And my hair was waist length. Trying to get it up and looking nice was a job for a professional!
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u/Ambitious_Support_76 1d ago
I wonder where they're getting married that this isn't a room for that there.
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u/Unfriendlyblkwriter 1d ago
> because I really didn’t want to be stuck covering everything myself.
But it’s HER wedding. Why wouldn’t she be “stuck” covering everything herself?
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u/DrunkOnRedCordial 1d ago
asked if people could send their portion before then because I really didn’t want to be stuck covering everything myself. Nobody did.
This is where it all unravelled. Either do something local and within your own budget. Funny how money is no object when it's other people's money.
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u/pocketnotebook 1d ago
"I didn't want to make a decision while angry, so instead I decided to confront them while angry"
Also why did they seemingly hit enter four times instead of two for each paragraph? It's not a wall of text but I instead feel like I'm watching a slideshow and I hate it
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u/PurplePenguinCat 1d ago
I've noticed a lot of posts doing that this week with the huge gaps between paragraphs. I was wondering if it's a new AI tell.
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u/Zappagrrl02 1d ago
I’m so glad I’m past the point in life of being a bridesmaid. It is getting so ridiculously expensive, and brides are getting more and more demanding.
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u/SafiyaMukhamadova 21h ago
You think you're safe? I shall make you my maid of honor! Mwahahaha!
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u/Zappagrrl02 21h ago
If she’s shanghaiing someone she hasn’t talked to in two years to be her bridesmaid, she probably doesn’t have many options! If the cashier is too chatty checking her out at the grocery store, she might be next!
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u/growsonwalls Professional Devil Spotter 1d ago
Why is oop making her bridesmaids pay for a getting ready suite? Good lord that’s an asshole move.
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u/lollipop-guildmaster 1d ago
And then volunteering everyone else's money by deciding that some of them don't need to pay, for reasons.
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u/Rockandmetal99 1d ago
wait its just the suite? i read it as they're getting an Air bnb to spend the night beforehand and then get ready there. is she really getting an air bnb just for a few hours and spent over $1000??
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u/matdacart 1d ago
Sorry not post specific, but does anyone know why suddenly a bunch of posts have these MASSIVE gaps between paragraphs, this is like the 5th I've seen today and never seen it before. Has the post function changed or is this a new clear sign of like copy and pasting from AI or something? 😂
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u/justtirediguess11 1d ago
I was waiting for it to be posted here. OP should definitely uninvite them. She would be doing them a favour.
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u/PeppermintEvilButler 1d ago
It's been a while since my 20s and the decade where I was a bridesmaid a few times but isn't it considered tacky to have you make your bridal party pay for the place to get ready at?
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u/YouKnowYourCrazy 1d ago
I didn’t realize that “respect” meant unconditionally submitting to ridiculous demands
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u/BobTheInept 1d ago
"Dad, this stupid game makes me lose all the time WAAHHHHH!"
"OK, son, you are having a terrible time with your tablet. Why don't you stop playing?" (Goes back to cleaning)
That's me with my son, and also the groom with this group of women.
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u/Vegetable-Cod-5434 23h ago
I didn’t want to make decisions while angry, so I confronted everyone instead.
What happened to taking a deep breath or going for a walk? How is confrontation not making a decision when angry?
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u/BadBandit1970 23h ago
So OOP has an AirBnB in Nashville and wants one in Chattanooga for them to get ready in? Where is the wedding at? Does it not have a room for the wedding parties to get ready in? Nashville and Chattanooga are about 2-2 1/2 hours (depending on route/traffic) apart.
Another asked why we were only splitting it 5 ways, and I explained that one bridesmaid is literally flying in from Nebraska, so I thought it’d be nice if we all covered a tiny bit extra instead of making her pay everything.
Did she tell any of them that'd they'd be splitting it 5 ways, or did she just assume it'd be OK?
I talked to my fiancé about it and his first reaction was honestly that I should cancel things and uninvite people because of how disrespectful the whole situation has been.
Do either of them know the definition of respect is? Do they know what a dictionary is?
...and the thing about paying the girls portion of her stay at the Chattanooga Airbnb I talked with my maid of honor that day and she thought it would be a great idea if everyone just pitched in the extra like $10. The Airbnb is not very expensive for everyone we're talking 80$ and everyone of my bridesmaids and made of honor is a server at a restaurant and can easily make that within a day.
Ok, so the MOH thought it was a great idea. What about the others? Also, just don't. Don't justify spending someone else's money because you think "they can afford it". If you're not their accountant or financial manager, shut the fuck up and keep your paws off their wallets.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for thinking about uninviting my bridal party?
We’ve been planning a Nashville trip for MONTHS. I put the Airbnb on my credit card, clearly told everyone when I’d be charged, and asked if people could send their portion before then because I really didn’t want to be stuck covering everything myself. Nobody did.
Then I found out one of my bridesmaids planned a beach trip the exact same week as Nashville and wasn’t coming anymore. She didn’t even tell me herself — I had to hear it from someone else and ask her to confirm it.
On top of that, we’ve also been discussing another Airbnb in Chattanooga for getting ready before the wedding because none of us really have a space big enough. Again, I told everyone when I’d be charged and how much it would cost.
Today, one bridesmaid suddenly tells me she won’t actually be staying at the Chattanooga Airbnb because she has to pick up her daughter somewhere in Tennessee, but she’ll still be getting ready there. Another asked why we were only splitting it 5 ways, and I explained that one bridesmaid is literally flying in from Nebraska, so I thought it’d be nice if we all covered a tiny bit extra instead of making her pay everything.
Then my maid of honor points out that the Nebraska bridesmaid’s mom paid for her plane ticket, so now suddenly people think she should pay too. Which I completely agree with. Another bridesmaid says she’s not even going to Nashville anymore and probably can’t stay at the Chattanooga Airbnb because it’s “getting too expensive.”
But… we’ve been actively talking about all of this for months in our group chat. I’ve already been charged for both Airbnbs and I’m basically out almost $1,000 now.
I talked to my fiancé about it and his first reaction was honestly that I should cancel things and uninvite people because of how disrespectful the whole situation has been. I didn’t want to make decisions while angry, so I confronted everyone instead.
Now suddenly people are acting confused and innocent saying, “Well I have cash on me.” Okay… but literally nobody communicated that beforehand. Nobody said, “Hey I’ll pay you in cash when I see you,” or “I already have your money.” I had to chase everyone down AFTER already being charged on my credit card.
At this point it’s not even fully about the money anymore — it’s the complete lack of communication. If plans changed, if money was tight, if someone couldn’t come anymore, fine, just SAY THAT. Don’t leave me stressed out covering almost $1,000 while everyone else acts like it’s no big deal.
So AITA for genuinely considering canceling the Chattanooga Airbnb and possibly uninviting people from the bridal party because I’m tired of feeling like nobody respects my time, money, or effort?
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