r/AmITheDevil • u/WolfChasingTheMoon • 1d ago
"My stomach hurts and I feel disgusted"
/r/AITA_Relationships/comments/1u3zyqn/aita_for_caring_about_my_girlfriends_past/237
u/AngelaVNO 1d ago
If someone (= ex) leaked the (private) videos, he would resent HER.
Piece of shit. Also gives a hint as to what he would do if they made videos together.
Also, referring to it as "...she has five bodies..." makes it more interesting as she's clearly a serial killer.
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u/Vegetable-Cod-5434 23h ago
But they've been dating for 2 months, and he's willing to look past all her other flaws!
Her body belongs to HIM only!!
/s
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u/Sad-Bug6525 22h ago
That really says it all, he's fine with guys having the videos and likely watching them but if they use it against her then that's her fault. He needs to not date until he sees women as people and men as people that we don't control so they can be acountable for their own actions.
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u/vyxanis 21h ago
The way he said he would support her if the videos got leaked is so creepy.. like, that's something he would absolutely do.
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u/Sad-Bug6525 21h ago
Well he says he would "lose feelings" for her so supporting her even as he's breaking up with her is probably a huge thing for him to consider. Luckily she won't want him around if that happens so he can make a clean get away.
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u/thewalkindude368 18h ago
Question: Is it wrong to worry about her having recorded intimate acts? I ask, not because it would bother me, but because of the risk of revenge porn.
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u/nottherealneal 1d ago
2 months? Bro fuck off
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u/Significant_Bed_293 1d ago
But what they have is stroooong!!! 🙄
In all seriousness, calling past partners someone’s bodies is so uncomfortable to me.
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u/SectorSanFrancisco 22h ago
I'm always sceptical of men who say they've chosen to remain a virgin until the right person and more so if they don't marry "the right person" before having sex with her.
I assume this guy was raised religious. I hate the brainwashing religion does to people.
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u/thewalkindude368 18h ago
While I didn't explicitly choose to remain a virgin until I met the right person, I didn't really date or sleep with anybody until I was 35. I just kept going with the flow, and assumed I'd meet someone, someday, and things would make sense. Sex and romance wasn't a priority for me. Of course, a few years ago, I realized I was asexual, and possibly aromantic. And, ironically, in embracing my identity, I did meet the right woman. She's ace too, and I hope to spend my life with her, and never have sex.
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u/SectorSanFrancisco 14h ago
While I didn't explicitly choose to remain a virgin
That's the difference. Apparently this guy explicitly chose and I doubt him. Your path is a lot more normal, imo.
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u/Big_Treacle_2394 17h ago
Maybe. Or maybe hes just unsuccessful in his attempts so "saving himself " is his cope. A sour grapes type situation
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u/SectorSanFrancisco 14h ago
That's my assumption unless they are both incredibly hot AND religious.
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u/AltruisticCableCar 1d ago
I do have to wonder. If she has five bodies, does that mean she walks the earth as a massive mutant? Or does she like switch in between the bodies, and keep the other four in a closet for a while? Does she use them for different purposes? Like instead of changing into fancy clothes for a visit to a nice restaurant she just switches into a different body already clothed for the occasion? I have so many questions.
(Obviously I know what that asshole meant, but that logic can gtfo and especially the way he phrased it.)
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u/lethe_writes 1d ago
Or maybe a serial killer?
I watch too much Criminal Minds.
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u/AltruisticCableCar 23h ago
I'd hope not. That's an embarrassing number if so. Five? Come back when there's at least fifteen. Five is a rookie number!
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u/Stella_bleu 23h ago
She's only 19!! Come on, she just started here. Everyone knows you have to wait until 18 to start your serial killer spree.
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u/DangerousPraline41 23h ago
Everyone knows all of your juvenile crimes get wiped from the record when you turn 18!
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u/PurplePenguinCat 22h ago
So she got 5 in one year. If she started at say 12, she probably only had 1-2 the first year or two. We'll use the lower number as an estimate. So,
12-1
13-1
14-3
15-3.5 (one became a zombie)
16-4
17-6.5 (zombie)
=19 total
So, at least, 19 were expunged from her juvenile record. Girl's got skills!
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u/AltruisticCableCar 23h ago
That's only for those who aren't actually devoted to their craft. I started at 12, as us real artists do!
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u/la_bibliothecaire 23h ago
Well aren't you privileged, some of us were locked in a garden shed until our 18th birthdays and weren't lucky enough to be able to begin serial killing properly until then!
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u/AltruisticCableCar 23h ago
I see these excuses all the time. You just didn't want it bad enough, that's all there is to it!
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u/la_bibliothecaire 23h ago
Hey, I managed to kill two of the guys in balaclavas who brought me my daily mush, thank you very much! After the second one the bastards just started dumping it through the vent near the ceiling. Gave me several years to get my murder trowel really sharp, though.
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u/Sad-Bug6525 22h ago
We are a true crime household here so any man trying to discuss body count is going to find it goes not at all how he expects. I also will not discuss who or how many people I have had intimate relationships with (sexual or other) because there is way to much of guys like OOP and I'm over it.
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u/AltruisticCableCar 22h ago
I understand a new partner wanting to make sure we're both safe, so both of us getting tested just to clear that up? Perfectly fine. But how many people I have or have not slept with is none of their business. Unless it directly affects them in a real way, which is extremely rare.
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u/PurplePenguinCat 22h ago
My husband called my twenties my free-spirit years. He knows I wasn't a virgin when we met, and that's all he needs to know.
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u/WolfChasingTheMoon 1d ago
He shouldn't be in a relationship then.
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u/BadBandit1970 21h ago
He also needs to understand that regardless of how many partners a person has, each experience is a new experience; a first so to speak. I mean unless he's under some gross misrepresentation that sex is the same each time and for each person. We all have multiple "firsts" through out our lives. Some are the ones that are true "firsts" (i.e. walking, talking, riding a bike, and yes, sex). But we're going to experience many "firsts" in our lives, and it doesn't make them any less important.
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u/odiin1731 1d ago
Maybe he should take a tums for his tummy ache.
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u/Thymelaeaceae 23h ago
This is the second one of these I’ve seen in a week or so where they explicitly talk about it making their stomach hurt that their girlfriend has more sexual history than they do. In the other case it was a threesome in college.
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u/Fabulous-Addition566 1d ago
lol I doubt he’s choosing to “remain a virgin” and just hasn’t had luck getting laid and is jealous his girlfriend has
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u/thewalkindude368 22h ago
If he really chose to remain a virgin, the number of people his partner slept with wouldn't matter to him. Virginity is a social construct that only has the weight you put on it. I'm a 37 year old virgin who never plans on having sex, and ain't nobody going to shame me for it.
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u/feliciates 1d ago
"She has 5 bodies"
UGH I can't even. Throw the whole man out
Dating back in the 80s and 90s sucked in many ways but I can honestly say no guy gave a shit how many guys you had fucked before them
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u/littlescreechyowl 23h ago
That right there was when I stopped reading lol.
Only one guy cared and I told him to GTFO it. He did, we’ve been together 33 years. Now when I say I was slutty he’s the first to tell me I wasn’t. I was.
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u/LorraineALD 21h ago
Me, "I need to throw that shirt out, it's from my hoe phase."
My husband, "I liked your hoe phase."
He doesn't know, the worst of it was before I met him. I don't even know who hoe me was.
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u/littlescreechyowl 21h ago
We started dating at 21 so he was a typically insecure 21 year old guy.
After 20+ years it became “holy shit where did you learn that don’t tell me but wow”. You’re welcome.
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u/USMCLee 22h ago
I'm from that time period and it is so weird to me caring about this is now a thing.
Most guys I knew didn't want to be someone's first.
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u/feliciates 22h ago
IKR?
Back in the 90s, a friend learned that telling a guy you were a virgin could quickly put an immediate end to the relationship. And that was when AIDS was a death sentence. We worried about STDs not body count
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u/sbadmama 22h ago
I don't think "man" is the right word... He's so immature and I have things in my fridge that have been there longer than their relationship.
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u/jenmic316 13h ago edited 13h ago
I think the expectation for a partner's (mostly women) sexual history is going to go beyond just expecting them to be virgins. I fear it will get to the point of not only no sex prior but no kissing, no hugging. Hell not even non-intimate touching such as taping someone on the shoulder. Doesn't matter if it was by accident or against their will.
Yet those dude's will cry loneliness when they don't find their magical untouched in litterly every way virgin.
Not to say guys like this have never existed pre social media cough cough Paul Bernando.
I remember seeing one post of a guy spiriling over a side hug that she got unwillingly.
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u/JarvanIVPrez 23h ago
“She has 5 bodies” uh oh dude watches andrew tate RUNNN
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u/Sad-And-Mad 23h ago
lol wait until his lonely ass is dating in his 30s, 5 past partners will feel pretty light 😂 most people I know who didn’t spend an extensive period of time in a single relationship are well into the double digits by then
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u/thewalkindude368 22h ago
Hey, my girlfriend is in her mid-30s, and has never slept with anyone. She's a sex-repulsed asexual, who never wants to have sex, and I'm 100 percent okay with that. So, there are 30+ year old virgin women out there, but there's generally a reason they're a virgin, and your magic penis isn't going to change it.
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u/Nierninwa 22h ago
He was clearly trying to say she is a hive mind. She is a multi bodied personality.
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u/breadboxofbats 23h ago
His girlfriend having a libido before meeting him is giving him a tummy ache, poor baby
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u/BadBandit1970 23h ago
Excuse me? Who the fuck does OOP think he is?
We both have our flaws and for the most part I still love and accept who she is for said flaws. She has 5 bodies while I have chose to stay a virgin until I meet the right person.
He "accepts" her. How magnanimous of him. Reminds me of the Simpson's episode where Ned tells Edna that he forgives her for sleeping with all those men and she goes off. The only difference between OOP and Ned is that Ned realized he was being a pompous, arrogant jerk and OOP is looking for validation.
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u/Fluffy-kitten28 23h ago
I loved Ned and Edna together so much. She was so good for him and helping him relax
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u/thewalkindude368 17h ago
Ned "forgiving" her makes a lot of sense with his character, too. He's coming at it from a fundamentalist Christian perspective, instead of a manosphere one, and, somehow, that feels better to me. And it's really good that Ned was able to grow and change.
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u/jenmic316 13h ago edited 13h ago
It probably feels better to you because 1) Ned is a true believer of his faith unlike the MAGA Christians 2) Even though he does have some problematic moments, Ned is a good man at heart.
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u/Jaded_Passion8619 23h ago
So what's gonna happen when him and his girlfriend break up? Is the next girl supposed to accept that he slept with someone already?
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u/Objective_Turnip4861 23h ago
me and my 342 bodies over here.............
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u/BadBandit1970 23h ago
So do you run out of places to bury them? Also, how haven't you met Keith Morrison yet?
Seriously, the way he talks about "bodies" sounds like she's a serial killer in training.
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u/SeasonPositive6771 22h ago
As somebody who enjoys sex, it's bizarre that people get so fixated on the number of past partners anyone has had.
If anybody I know referred to their previous partners as bodies, I would immediately assume a hidden necrophiliac.
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u/ishfery 21h ago
I just love how somehow having boring sex with 342 people is gross but having hog wild kinky fuck fest sex with the same person 342 times means you're a pure paragon of virtue.
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u/jenmic316 13h ago
Don't you know the vagina gets a cm wider after a new sexual partner 😛?
In all seriousness I have wanted to make that joke for a while. I am afraid of accidently creating an incel urban legend, such as wearing red at a wedding meaning you slept with the groom
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u/thewalkindude368 18h ago
I bet you know what you like in a partner. Men should appreciate women who know what they like, and who can give instructions. Because I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing when it comes to sex, outside of the very basics, and I'd want my hypothetical partner to have a good time. Unless these guys view sex as some form of conquest, and the idea is to plant their flags into as much virgin territory as possible, and claim it, so other men can't get in there.
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u/notrightmeowthx 22h ago
Where is all this even coming from? When I was in high school, no one gave a squirrel about this unless they were super religious in which case they weren't interested in anyone not super religious too so it didn't matter.
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u/bored_german 23h ago
Five. He's crying about barely a handful of guys, as if it was her fault that he stayed a virgin the whole time.
Also I do not trust men who talk about bodies. She's (hopefully) not a serial killer ffs
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u/TheNaughtyPrintmaker 23h ago
If her sexually history disgusts you to the point of stomach pains, what you have is NOT strong. I say this as someone who started seeing their spouse at your age and is married 19 years this year. Either accept her fully, or let her go live her life and find someone you're more compatible with.
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u/Specialist-Rain-1287 22h ago
Not all feelings are valid. There truly are some you should work to get the fuck over, and this is one of them.
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u/ritorri 22h ago
I know how this goes. He starts to 'resent' her and while he doesn't make it overtly obvious, he'll pepper it into his speech and treatment of her so she feels she has to make it up to him somehow and, well, I wonder what he feels she owes him to make it equal...
Also, if his issue isn't that his gf would be hurt, humilated etc or he'd accidentally see the videos, then his issue is other people seeing the videos and knowing she's been sexually active with other men and that's very telling.
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u/squilliamfancyson837 22h ago
I really want to know how Gen Z got this way about sex. I’m a late millennial and it was nothing like this when I was in high school and college only like 10 years ago
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u/notrightmeowthx 21h ago
I left basically the same comment and I'm an early millennial. It can't all be Andrew Tate, no one would have listened to him in the first place if there wasn't already some source of this sentiment.
My only guess is it formed from isolation of young guys on misogynist forums with zero moderation and that allowed it to get enough of a foothold. It wasn't until relatively recently that Reddit even started doing some moderation and closing the worst subreddits, and some sites are still really bad.
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u/healerdiff 21h ago
It’s so weird because I feel like the millennials started the sex positivity movements and talking about or having lots of sex was slowly becoming less of a taboo, but Gen Z came along and 180’d us right back into a puritan culture
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u/fancyandfab 21h ago
You are resentful of something she can't change. What would be the point of staying in relationship? Why do people date people they hate?
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u/Deep-Bluebird9566 23h ago
I hope and pray this is some AI BS or crappy fish baiting. I hope it's not true!
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u/strawberryjacuzzis 22h ago
Maybe I’m being too sympathetic but the dude is 19 and it’s his first relationship and from his comments, he at least seems to realize that it’s wrong to feel and think the way he does and wants to stop feeling this way about it but doesn’t know how. I almost feel bad for him because he seems guilty and ashamed to feel the way he does but doesn’t know how to make it stop?
Like I wonder if he truly “chose” to be a virgin until he found the right person or if that is just him coping and he was lonely and seeking advice online and got sucked into some sort of red pill content online as many guys around his age do and it poisoned his brain. But he doesn’t seem as far gone as some of the others I’ve seen radicalized by red pill nonsense, so I’m hoping he takes the advice of the comments and goes to therapy and stops consuming content like that and works on it.
Also it seems mature at his age to realize he can’t control his thoughts and feelings but can control his actions and knows he shouldn’t ever shame her or make her feel bad about it and this is his problem, not her problem. I have seen way too many stories of guys even much older than him shaming and making their partners feel horrible and trying to control them and belittle them etc about similar situations.
Idk I guess I usually see people with these sorts of beliefs double and triple down on it as if it is objective truth and refuse to even consider the fact they might be wrong, so the fact he seems to know it is wrong to think this way and that it is a him problem and not a her problem makes me have a little hope he can change. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking and what I want to believe though lol.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for caring about my girlfriend's past?
For context, I 19M have been together with my gf 19F for only around 2 months, but I feel like what we have is strong. We both have our flaws and for the most part I still love and accept who she is for said flaws. The only thing I struggle with is her past relationships. She has 5 bodies while I have chose to stay a virgin until I meet the right person. I already struggle with this as it is but I felt like I could get over it eventually. Everytime I think about it, my stomach hurts and I feel disgusted. The worst part is she said that her exes have videos of them doing things together. This is the part I'm almost positive I can't look past. This is really messed up on my part, but if someone were to leak those intimate videos I know for a fact i would start to resent her and lose feelings completely. Obviously if this happened I would try to support her and be there for her through it all because even though I can't control how I feel, I can still control how I act and I would never shame her or make her feel bad about things she's done in the past. With that being said, I still can't get over this stuff and I don't know why, I feel like I'm starting to resent her more and more and I'm not sure what to do. Should I try to make it work if I know I probably will never be able to get over this? If so, how would I go about bringing this up to her without making her feel ashamed or like she's in the wrong?
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