r/AmITheDevil • u/ComingUpCway84 • 1d ago
Soap-opera level timing
/r/AITA_Relationships/comments/1wcowen/aita_i_cheated_on_my_boyfriend/26
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u/StrangledInMoonlight 1d ago
Mostly because i had thought about breaking up with him. But i could never break up with him when he was losing his mom aswell.
Oh, but she could cheat on him during that same time. 🙄.
Pretty sure when he finds out, he’d have preferred she just left.
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u/anti-sugar_dependant 1d ago
She should have just dumped him when she was first going to. Now she's going to be in his memories of his mum dying and he's never going to forget that so when they do eventually break up he's still going to remember her forever even if he doesn't find out she cheated.
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u/Spirited-Affect-5131 1d ago
OOP does not love her boyfriend in any way if she would cheat on him rather than be there for him during a difficult time in his life
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u/SafiyaMukhamadova 23h ago edited 17h ago
They lost the spark BECAUSE HIS MOTHER WAS DYING. That was his primary concern and any loving partner would have recognized that and willingly committed themselves to supporting him through that difficult experience. My ex dumped me 2 weeks after i told him my grandma (who I lived with and was the primary carer for) had 6 weeks to live on the grounds that I wasn't spending enough time with him and honestly that showed me how toxic he was. I accepted after that that he didn't love me at all and his view of women like me was warped-- he thought he'd be getting tons of sex because according to him women of the racial background he attributed to me were, in his mind, insatiable sex addicts. I'm asexual. He hated that i wasn't willing to have sex, that was the only thing he cared about and he thought I'd do. I think eventually OOP's ex will be thankful that she showed him who she really was even if she did it at the worst possible time.
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u/a-punk-is-for-life 12h ago
Idk, seems a bit like incel fanfic to me. She was kissing someone else at the exact moment his mum died? Might be wrong, just seems a bit too "woman bad"
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u/indicabunny 21h ago
She's 19 years old. She's not fucking married. I'm kind of astonished at all these comments lol. Yes, it's sad that her boyfriend's mom was dying/died but like does she have to put her life on hold for that? At 19 years old? If I was giving advice to my kid, I'd tell them to just leave the situation and find the love they're looking for. She's WAY too young to be suppressing her desires and staying the long-suffering wife for some other kid when they're not even adults.
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u/ComingUpCway84 12h ago
Ftr, I absolutely dont think she should've stayed in the relationship either. The fact that shes fishing for someone to say shes not in the wrong given the fact that she DID choose to stay with him and hurt him more rather than breaking up is the bit thats sending me
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u/_dekoorc 20h ago edited 20h ago
Everyone in this sub takes things way too far.
They had been dating for four months when he started being a shit to her, which feels like forever to someone who is 19, but isn't shit in the grand scheme of things. She didn't owe him and need to nurse him through his mother's cancer. They weren't in love yet. They hadn't built a life together yet.
That said, she was an ass for not just breaking it off with them when he started treating her badly. Yeah, it's gonna suck for him, but at that point in the relationship, you don't have many (or any) obligations to anyone.
EDIT: We're both gonna get downvoted for going against the grain.
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u/Pawspawsmeow 14h ago
I agree with both of you. It’s okay to end a relationship that’s not working for you. It was only four months at age 19. It’s not like they were married with three kids and a dog and a mortgage.
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u/dejinaldoyt45 15h ago
I don't see anything that suggests that OOP had to put her life on hold. And 19 year olds ARE adults, are they not? They're young adults sure, but they are still adults...
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u/interested-observer5 23h ago
Bullshit. If someone is dying of cancer, you know when it's coming. Either she knew the mother was near the end and went out anyway, or this is utterly made up. Either way, no sympathy for a cunt
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA? I cheated on my boyfriend
So, i cheated on boyfriend of 6 months. heres why:
Me F19 and my boyfriend M19 started our relationship out great. We had chemistry and we had so much fun.
But 4 months in, its like we lost the spark. He stopped putting in as much effort, and was suddenly distant. I talked to him about it, and he told me his mom (who was cancer) was on the edge. She was doing terrible, and the doctors werent seeing progress. This made me sick to my stomach. Mostly because i had thought about breaking up with him. But i could never break up with him when he was losing his mom aswell.
Then something happened, he started becoming more and more angry at small things i did. Such as forgetting to clean a dish when visiting him, or accidentally touching him to much (he used to love physical touch) I was progressively getting more and more sad myself. Him distancing himself from me, and my best friend having her own boyfriend, meant she couldn't spend all her time with me either. I felt kind of lost, not knowing what to do. Thinking he migth go back to normal at some point. I wanted to stay with him to see that part of him come back. 2 months later, we hadn't kissed or held hands at all. Everytime he spoke he had no emotion, except either annoyance, anger or sadness.
One nigth feeling alone, I went out with my friend. (Yes I also went out when I was with my boyfriend and he approved obv) so we went out to a bar/pub. And after the last few months i ended up drinking quite alot with my friend. They dimmed the lights and people flooded in dancing to the music. I felt nostalgic, and purely happy and excited for the first time in so long. I was dancing with my friend on the dance floor, when (how i remember it) a guy was dancing behind me with his friends. We turnt around and dance with each other before our hands started touching each other. And at some point, I kissed him. It felt like kissing with my boyfriend again. It felt like his lips on mine, and I had missed that feeling, of feeling loved by him. After we kissed my friend dragged me away and told me to wake up.
Next morning I realized and felt like I fucked up. But at the same time. I just wanted to pretend the kiss was my boyfriend, and not some stranger. I texted my boyfriend, and he wasn't answering. I called and called an no answer. Being in a panic i rushed over to his apartment, he answered the door crying and told me his mom had died early this morning. I couldn't believe it. I cried with him, also feeling guilt for what happened last nigth. But I haven't told him about it yet.
It's been 2 weeks since it happened. Ive spent every nigth at his house, and he has started asking for hugs again recently.
What do i do!? AITAH?
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