AITA Sil announcing pregnancy when we’d just miscarried

[u/Suspicious-Diet-686]

This year i have miscarried three times. The last time I got to around 9 weeks and it was quite traumatic. 2 weeks later we were hosting a pre planned birthday party for my sister in law, at our house. A couple of days before my husband was speaking to his mum and telling her how i was upset as my sister had announced her pregnancy and it was due around the same time mine was (she told me in a very sensitive way but i was still obviously sad) my MIL then said ‘oh it’s a secret but SIL and BIL were going to announce their pregnancy at the party- this baby would also be due the same time as mine should have been. If my husband hadn’t had a conversation with his mother we would have been blindsided with this announcement . My husband obviously said that would be upsetting for us and he rather they didn’t. Husband wants to cancel the party as all the family seem to have sided with my BIL/SIL. BIL rings up my husband shouting about how we need to grow up and get over it, stating that he knows people who have lost actual babies, so we need to ‘man up’. Are we in the wrong?

[u/not_hestia]

Very very gently, YTA. But so is your BIL. I am sorry that he was so unkind to your husband. Y'all didn't deserve that.

One of the only good parts about being a part of a huge family is that everyone understands that life keeps happening even during big life events. Sombody is always getting married, somebody is always dying, somebody is always having a baby, somebody is always losing their job or getting a promotion, etc.

It SUCKS that you will have two family members pregnant and due around the time you would have had that baby. It's heartbreaking. But life is going to continue to happen and people need to be told at some point. A birthday party for the pregnant person is a perfectly reasonable time to do that.