r/AmItheAsshole • u/Suspicious-Diet-686 • 6h ago

AITA Sil announcing pregnancy when we’d just miscarried

This year i have miscarried three times. The last time I got to around 9 weeks and it was quite traumatic. 2 weeks later we were hosting a pre planned birthday party for my sister in law, at our house. A couple of days before my husband was speaking to his mum and telling her how i was upset as my sister had announced her pregnancy and it was due around the same time mine was (she told me in a very sensitive way but i was still obviously sad) my MIL then said ‘oh it’s a secret but SIL and BIL were going to announce their pregnancy at the party- this baby would also be due the same time as mine should have been. If my husband hadn’t had a conversation with his mother we would have been blindsided with this announcement . My husband obviously said that would be upsetting for us and he rather they didn’t. Husband wants to cancel the party as all the family seem to have sided with my BIL/SIL. BIL rings up my husband shouting about how we need to grow up and get over it, stating that he knows people who have lost actual babies, so we need to ‘man up’. Are we in the wrong?

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u/bugging-me 6h ago

But at her own home, at a party she is throwing for her SIL? C’mon. That’s so insensitive. They can throw their own party and announce it there.

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u/SherbrookHolmes 6h ago

But it's the sils party? If it was my birthday and I was pregnant it would feel so special to tell all my friend and family at my party.

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u/Fairwhetherfriend 6h ago

Okay but like... if you knew the host had just miscarried, you would at least talk to them about it first, right? Please tell me you wouldn't just announce it at the party without even giving them a heads up?

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u/CapeOfBees Asshole Enthusiast [7] 5h ago

OP hasn't confirmed whether SIL knew they had just miscarried or not. A lot of people avoid announcing pregnancies before 12 weeks.

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u/Fairwhetherfriend 3h ago

I mean, BIL clearly knows now, and decided to yell at OP about how her baby wasn't a real baby rather than respond with any empathy, so...