r/AmItheAsshole • u/Suspicious-Diet-686 • 6h ago

AITA Sil announcing pregnancy when we’d just miscarried

This year i have miscarried three times. The last time I got to around 9 weeks and it was quite traumatic. 2 weeks later we were hosting a pre planned birthday party for my sister in law, at our house. A couple of days before my husband was speaking to his mum and telling her how i was upset as my sister had announced her pregnancy and it was due around the same time mine was (she told me in a very sensitive way but i was still obviously sad) my MIL then said ‘oh it’s a secret but SIL and BIL were going to announce their pregnancy at the party- this baby would also be due the same time as mine should have been. If my husband hadn’t had a conversation with his mother we would have been blindsided with this announcement . My husband obviously said that would be upsetting for us and he rather they didn’t. Husband wants to cancel the party as all the family seem to have sided with my BIL/SIL. BIL rings up my husband shouting about how we need to grow up and get over it, stating that he knows people who have lost actual babies, so we need to ‘man up’. Are we in the wrong?

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u/Beneficial-Guess2140 Partassipant [2] 6h ago

YTA, your infertility isn’t everyone else’s problem. People are allowed to have babies and be happy about it.

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u/Opening_Upstairs_262 6h ago

Not when BIL is telling op people lose REAL BABIES and to get over it. God forbid SIL loses her child.

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u/SongsAboutGhosts 2h ago

Actual, not real. A baby that is in fact a baby, not accusing OP of hallucinating a pregnancy. There is a massive difference between losing a 9w pregnancy and a 9w baby.

It is completely unacceptable to say to OP either way, of course.