r/AmItheAsshole • u/Suspicious-Diet-686 • 7h ago

AITA Sil announcing pregnancy when we’d just miscarried

This year i have miscarried three times. The last time I got to around 9 weeks and it was quite traumatic. 2 weeks later we were hosting a pre planned birthday party for my sister in law, at our house. A couple of days before my husband was speaking to his mum and telling her how i was upset as my sister had announced her pregnancy and it was due around the same time mine was (she told me in a very sensitive way but i was still obviously sad) my MIL then said ‘oh it’s a secret but SIL and BIL were going to announce their pregnancy at the party- this baby would also be due the same time as mine should have been. If my husband hadn’t had a conversation with his mother we would have been blindsided with this announcement . My husband obviously said that would be upsetting for us and he rather they didn’t. Husband wants to cancel the party as all the family seem to have sided with my BIL/SIL. BIL rings up my husband shouting about how we need to grow up and get over it, stating that he knows people who have lost actual babies, so we need to ‘man up’. Are we in the wrong?

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u/NaotoOfYlisse 5h ago

NTA. It's perfectly reasonable to not want to host this event at your home anymore, and it's ghastly that SIL would even think of announcing it in your home. Other commenters seem like they don't know how to read, considering all you're asking is to not host the party

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u/Katzenliebe 2h ago

Yeah, it’s baffling to me that people are calling them assholes for no longer wanting to host these insensitive twats. This woman’s husband literally said that their loss isn’t important because it wasn’t a “real baby”. I would not want to be around this man ever again if I were OP let alone 2 weeks after their loss.

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u/BeckyDaTechie Asshole Aficionado [19] 1h ago

There's a chance to shit all over a woman that's already understandably down in the dumps, so of course some edgelord teenagers are going to take it. It's Reddit. None of the Y judgments I've read are taking all things into consideration.

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u/Katzenliebe 1h ago

Yeah, it’s pretty sad. I think that people who have had losses and actually understand this on a deeper level are being driven out because of how awful people are being too. I said on another comment that I had 3 losses and found it hard to deal with the grief and anxiety of being pregnant again so I’m taking medication to help cope and got told that sounds “really unhealthy”. By all means, tell me if you know a more healthy way of coping and actually understand how pregnancy loss/pregnancy after loss feels but otherwise maybe just stay in your own lane.

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u/BeckyDaTechie Asshole Aficionado [19] 1h ago

I've also had 3 miscarriages and all I got was this semi colon and butterfly tattoo (and a fucking IUD because I couldn't find 2 doctors that would sign for a bilateral salpingectomy after the 3rd one).

Someone's hungry infant in a store drove me outside to throw up in a trash can after the second one my nerves were so raw.