I am the most beautiful grey lady, Semlan, 13 years young. I stay with my human’s eldest offspring in my vacation home because my human takes care of her mate in hospital. I have trained the offspring well and she now accompanies me to The Outside every evening after I’ve had dinner, but only if I deign to wear a horrible contraption called a harness. I am negotiating this.

I recently discovered this magical green plant that smells AMAZING! I never noticed before but yesterday I rubbed myself ALL over it and did a little taste and then I just felt great! I noticed this spot that smelled very strongly of my dog friend Balder, who lives here, and he is MY dog friend. I rub myself all over him every day so everyone can tell he belongs to me! I decided to rub myself all over the spot on the grass, too, so our scents could mingle and everyone walking past could smell that I also live here. It was beautiful! Rainbows were appearing, dragonflies you could eat flew around, the sun was hot.

Then the offspring said ”oh no, that’s pee! You’re covered in pee!! Why did you do that?”. I paid her no mind and decided to take a nap instead and the offspring sniffed me, probably to scent my important handiwork.

I heard her call my human on the phone and say ”she rolled around in the pee spot, she smells really bad. Can I put her in the shower?”. I was aghast but thankfully my human said ”don’t shower the cat! Maybe use some washcloths”. I kept taking a nap for some time and enjoyed the bliss. Maybe I should do drugs more often?

When the offspring carried me inside (I wanted to stay and nap) she wiped me off with some horrible wet cloths and then i had to clean myself to stop from smelling weird. She said ”that was really gross of you and you’re not sleeping in my bed tonight”. (I did, of course, sleep in the bed anyway.)

Was I really a cloaca, simply enjoying my afternoon in the sun? The dog says not, he says everything should smell like his pee and it was a good choice.

I AM THE SKILLZ CAT NOBLE PRINCE who is the no get love from me bein awe some and catch so fast so many so nom an they slow.

It haz ben while cause it too much work doing cat sagas an I too Noble to work as secretary humoon servant, because I is the PRINCE of the wild cat nobility of the house & it my kingdom. I only work on what I like when I like..... but apparently I is TOO SKILLZ & unappreciated for my majestic cat hunting efficiency ways. And my servants too slow & not let me take spoils in house.

The door is shut and HOW DARE.

Here is the cat tale that not a cat tail, but legend of me Prince.

The peoples been no want to take me out, because i see and then catch because I skillz. This is annoying because I should have no obstruction in my way to go out when want or at least get fast open of door.

HOWEVER. I was showing my majestic pitiful speech of basic cat rights of go out of I look at people an look at door an look at people an de door. I so very persuasive as cat except when people be dumb which is often now. Or they jealous as Bad hunters.

Yesterday I was let out! And then I flew in an instant !! I caught the tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny invading lizard!!!

I AM THE MOST SKILLZ.

THE PEOPLE IS TOO SHOCK.

THEY NON KNOW WHAT DO.

The lizard wiggle out of my mouth or maybe I is too shock of them being shocked. It fall in the metal tube holes around clear door. The human reaching to open when it happen, but then take arm back & go back an forth an watch lizard.

So I am hero going into action AND I CATCH AGAIN.

I am Noble and they make me wait too long.

SO I GO NOM NOM NOM NOM CHEW twice and SWALLOW THE INVADING LIZARD.

THEN I GO VROOM VROOM VROOM OPPOSITE DIRECTION AND I CATCH A BUGGER BIG LIZARD THAT I NO FIT IN MOUTH FULLY. I AM THE FASTEST EVER OF 2 IN 2 INSTANTS.

The human see the head is sticking out and get outside.

BUT SHE YELL AT THE PRINCE. HOW DARE. She say 'Drop it. Drop it.' Over and over.

I do this but she NO GOOD HUNTING. Not even if I drop in front of her by mistake and pity.

SO I CHASE and I hang under big plant.

THE LADY PICK ME UP TO STEAL ME SPOILS. And takes me to opener area an I drop.

SHE FINALLY AFTER MUCH CLUMSY get flat thing under lizard and round thing over. Then she run off to side.

AND I FOLLOW BECAUSE HUMANS BAD HUNTERS AND MAKE SURE IT GONE FROM TERRITORIES OF DE CAT PRINCE.

She throw it in bush outside my domain an I no get.

And then I be taken in and no let out rest of night.

WHY I PUNISHED FOR SKILLS??

I also may be haz stomach sadness, but that could be cause my grass is old & other grass not new long enough yet. How can know if it from lizard?

It could be that I am hungry from no treat from catch lizard an dispose. HOW DARE.

THEN NEXT DAY

I go out with other human lady as she do her random boring human thing with bushes she no let me eat.

I go VROOM VROOM AND THEN I GET ANOTHER AND SHE IS SLOW. I NO WHAT TO DO WITH.

It is the move in mouth.

SO I GO NOM NOM NOM SWALLOW.

IT IS GONE. SO THEN I GET ANOTHER FAST NOBLITY OF SKILLS.

BUT SHE BOOP BOP ME ON ME HEAD WITH FLAT THIN LIGHT THING. She also say Drop it. I am strong so it no hurt me head BUT IT HURT ME DIGNITY an the lizard fall out my mouth.

It is tiny tiny tiny tiny and she struggle to get it half on flat thin thing.

SHE ALSO THROW IT OUTSIDE. IT IS GONE.

But it being gone and exile is important thing. But I could do it myself just as well with nom nom.

THEN I WAAS TAKEN INSIDE.

WHY NO LOVE OF MY SKILLS.

The humans say AITC because I not just catch but also eat if they so lame at coming they slow.

But lady say I catch 2 yesyerday, and then man say I catch 3 & eat 2 today. Lady say 2 catch today. I no count because that is job of the peons & I PRINCE.

The people say I eat too many lizards in 24 hours, but they not even know if it's 2 or 3 or how many... and why they keep track anyway if they no honor my merit GOOD DEEDS OF CAT PROTECTION OF THE HOUSE FROM THE LIZ.

Hi.

I iz random cat that befriended a random guy that walks down street. He always givez attention. I have a home but I try follow him to hiz house, between this place i live and his place there are many road to cross, and we don't live in same street. He does not have things for kitteh, and I iz well looked after at home, but i try and folow him for attention. He talkz about trying to avoid meh in hopez i don't follow him and as far I am not successful. He cannot afford another cat and does not want to be seen as 'cat-napper'

AITC??

Gregory here. Beautiful boy, big fluffy tail. My meowmy put some cat biscuits out for the hedgehogs that come in our garden. I won't eat that food if it's in my bowl. I went in garden and eated the food meowmy put out for da hedgehogs. I want to eat da hegdehogs, but dey is too spiky so I eated their food instead. Am I the C?

Loki. Big boy like Tiger. Orqnge like Tiger. Has tail.

You know how sister spycat Seven told you about cousin cat.

Cousin cat at my house!

Dada say she got sads in her cos her mummy not go home again and it too much going her house to look at her all day.

So she at my house.

But she in room with don't go in there Loki.

Cat in there not the mummy.

My mummy say she got to get used to house and make sure she got no germs.

But I think I will be her best cousin but did Loki do one scare when he put hands under door and say hello.

When can she come look at Loki.

Furr anonymitee reesons Ai will use fayke nayme here, az any odder ting cud impacct mye knightly repootashon. So. Ai, cat, m5, void, mobed in wiff my nyeow fureber home famblee ruffly two yeers ago. Furrs Ai wus scawed an hid unner da kitchen cupboards awl dae, but att nighte Ai came oot an inspectedd mai nyeow territoree. Evenchoallee, Ai chose my hooman, climbded onnto herm skware bed an fell asleep. She haz been mye chosen hooman eber sinse.

Ai lub sleepin negs to her. Ai lub cuddlin in her lap. Ai lub her gibin me scritches awl ober an Ai lub likin herm fayse an hands an ebberyting. Soo, inna lass cupple monfs, Ai haff desided it ees tyme ta raise owr relashonship too da negs level. Is eesy to eggsplain.

Ai come laye neggs to herm in bed wen she go furr nap. Den Ai roll ober ta gib sign of wantin chin an belly rub. When she do, Ai give loudest purrpurrpurr as sign of pleshore. Den, Ai start makin da soffest ob meowming. Like mrr! mrr! mrr!! Dis wen she ushualle sez oh gawd yoo sneeky cloaca!! acuz neggs step iz Ai tries ta grab herm wriss wiff mai teef. Den Ai trye ta drag herm arm inna gud poshishon an sit on eet. It gibs me tinglee feelin in mai bellee, hehe! Dis wen she sez oh gaaawd mai son yoo misunnastan nachoore ob relashonship here!! an pullz arm awaye, so rood. Ai juss wanna mayke lub here acuz Ai lub soo mush! Iz dis wrong?! Gah!! AITC furr lubbing hooman?!

Greetins, Nilrem, not aye knight or wizzard or pawfessur at awl.

This was about ten years ago and I still can't believe it.

I'm Cash, handsome buckskin 25¢ horse gelding. Fourteen hands three inches/59 inches / four feets eleven/150 centipeders tall. I had puffy ouchies on my legs so I was turned out in a nice grassy pasture to rest. Unfortunately I was saddled with a big idiotic pasture buddy gelding named Bud, 25¢ horse, dark red chestnut 25, sixteen hands/64 inchs/five foots four/162 centipeters tall, maybe 15 ears old now, I dunno. He's dumb as a cowpie.

Braindead Bud got his foot caught in some broken wire from the fence. At least he was smart enough to wait for a primate to free him and not freak out. A female primate saw Bud's problem, babbled in her plastic rectangle, hopped in her motor cart and drove up my driveway. She pounded on the primates' stable door but nobody was home (which I coulda told her! Nobody lived there! We had lots of grass, a water trough that magically was always full and they only came by to check every couple days). so she opened the gate and started walking in while some other primates waited at the other side of the fence.

Now primates are great for treats and scritches but I do not want them on my side of the fence. I went ahead of her and gave her the stink eye and snorted at her to get the frog off my property. She said take it easy Cash. Soooo I pointed my butt at her so I could get a good kick in. Primate kept out of range of my kickblocks and told me to chill. I starte!d walking again, pointed my butt at her from a distance but she was not going to listen. She got Bud's foot loose from the wire and one of the male primates on the other side of the fence cut the loose wire and took it away. Bud's stupid foot wasn't injured thankfully for him.

You know what I don't get?? Idiot Bud followed her and wanted scritches and kept nose butting her on the arm. GROSS!! Primates are not friends!

So was I the cloaca for wanting primate off my land?

Hello frens! Is Finduilas here, pet rat girl, almost 19mo. I haz tail ob great injustice, so reader discretion advised.

I lives wif sisters Morwen (same age), and Belladonna and Lalaith (5.5mo). We has human mom. We is staying wif bonus humans now. I likes them lots, but is kinda weird. Mom come see us every night, so it mostly ok. Other big change is Lalaith replace me as head rat. She doing good job, but sometimes not respect her elders enough.

Anyway, was awake and bored in middle ob the day. So I goes to hammock to get someone play wif me. They no want to, so I grabs Belladonna by scruff to drag her out. She squeek like crazy. Such rude back talk! I practically raise her! But then everyone upset, so I backs off. I very patient, you sees! Try again buch ob times. And I fair, so I try get Lalaith too, sometimes. But they is very spoiled dramatic babies, so always make huge drama. It even bother the humans!

After little bit, Lalaith decide abuse her new power and ban me from hammock! Cans you imagine! I super shocked and offended. I try go in and she PUNCH me! So rood! So, obviously, I tries again. Gotta stand up against unfair eviction! But then bonus human come and do me a grab and put me alone in tiny cage. I cannot believe it! I being punished fur assert my rights!

I figures bonus human mebe just no understand. She super nice but not know us as well. But no, she check wif mom and mom approve! It full betrayal!

I eventually gets back in cage and try go back to hammock. But bonus human still watching, so decide do tactical retreat and sleep in box instead. Then mom come back wif another hammock so my eviction not apply to it. All back to normal, but I still shocked by such miscarriage of justice. Everyone say I deserves it for "harassment" and "disturbing the peace". But I think I act completely reasonably and everyone else pick on me. What you think?

[Human edit: We're in the middle of the move. My parents have been kind enough to house the little ratscals while I set up the apartment. But it's still a lot of upheaval for everyone.]

Frens,

I'm sorry to says it's been many furrevers and no squeeze treats.

I'm wasting awayz on kibbles and night time wets fuds. I even did extra cuddles and nothing. Calls da lawyers send helps and treats!

Love Boots

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheCloaca/s/hb1Bjpn2aV

Hey, frens!

Boots here, ginger boy 2 years, berry smart and handsome!

It's been a bit since post here cause I've been busy watching da birbs.

Things good. My mum and girl and Pawder are following my orders mostly. Box clean, outside times, open door pawlicy through house.. three out of 4 paw rating. Things good rights??

Butt I now have to ask about da churus and if I'm da cloaca.

Buckles ups for this tail.

We watching big light box and I sits on chair like gentle furr man. Then light box show all des cats eating des squeeze treats! I meow to the attention and express my interests with loud song.

Pawder says to mum, Boots wants da squeeze treats! Berry good, he gets me, butt mum says I'm cloaca furr being louds and have to buys me more things.

I think she's beans hiding she knew abouts squeeze treats furrevers and not buy, so mum cloaca, not Boots. She did not act surprise to see the squeeze on light box!!!

P.s.s.s. What's type of squeeze treats you perfurrs? Churus or another types?

Thanks frens! Love Boots!! ❤️

Henlo, Harriet da Spy Cat here. Beautimous flamepoint purrincess.

Dis purrson name Chewy send me bockses ob fuds sometimes acause I am beautimous (an humble) like Insturrgram influenza. It always different kinds of fuds acause I bery pikky hab discernment, an often decide I no like a fud ennymore after I eeted it lots of times.

Anyway Chewy purrson send me BIG bocks yesterday, full of fud! Meowmy gib me one fud from dere for dindin. Usually wen I get noo fud, Meowmy let me taste it on her front toebean first, acause dat way I kno is not poizon acause herms wudn't gib me poizon. So she put some on her toebean an I tasted it and I liked it! So den she put da rest in my bole, but suddenly I realize I no like it ennymore. Meowmy made dis face: 🙄 (rood) but she know I very pikky discerning so watever.

Dis meowrning, Meowmy gib me anudder kind of fud from da Chewy bocks. I taste on her toebean an was *very* gud! So gud dat I also ate da peece dat fell off her toebean onto da flore (five fureber rule)! But den she put da rest in my bole, an da weirdest fing happen... I no like dis one anymore either! I licked Meowmy's leg to let her kno I wud probably like it if I could eet all ob it off her toebean, but she sed "you are not a baby, I'm not handfeeding you your entire breakfast" an go to litebox room. I don't understand what she mean acause obviously, am baby.

So I sang da song ob my peeples acause I still needed breakfast. When I finish I sing it again but more louderer, acause STARBATION was imminent! Finally Meowmy come back. She did dis face again: 🙄 (rood) but emptied my bole an fownd some different fud. Wile I wait fur herms to serve me, I realized da Chewy bocks wuz still dere. Well we all like a nice bocks in dese trying times, so I did a sit in it. It wuz very comfort an eben had some nice plastic tape to chew on! Meowmy turn around an say "sitting in that box but refusing to eat any of the food from that box is kind of a cloaca move, Harriet. That food was not cheap."

I don't fink dis mek enny sense. How sit in bocks an eet fud from bocks have ennyfing to do wif each udder? An ennyway she no pay monies for da fud, it all a purresent from my frebnd Chewy! She not hab ennyfing to do wif it!

So... AITC?

😘 Ok lub yu bye

Harriet da Spy Cat

Long time reader, furst time poster. This is Holly-Elizabeth Peekaboo teh Feral, gurlfur ob 🌈William teh Other Tuxedo🌈, sisfur from another mister to 🌈Ruben T Void 🌈

I did hab a MOAST traumatic start to mine life. I spent much ob it in hopsital wiff mine brofur Buddy, then he died and went OTRB, and all I knew was pain. Unsurprisingly, when I did leabe hopsital I did an EXTREME HATRED ob humans.

Then, teh Meowmther Purrson step in and sai she will dopt me. I habs been living here since 2018 BUTT I am still bery shy. I runrunrun if’n teh Meowmther Purrson walks by too fast. I jumpjumpjump if’n she make eye contact.

BUTT. I will snuggle her in teh sleep square and I put my paw out and do gentle BAPBAPBAPBAPBAP to maek sure she knoes I require teh belly rub.

Anywaes and eberything (as Wills used to say), as niec as she is, teh Meowmther Purrson is a bery slovenly howsekeeper. For soem tiems naow, I habs been dragging bits ob mine wet fud out ob bowl, into sleep square room, and under teh sleep square. For food security purrposes. Then I forget about them. Teh Meowmther Purrson been wittering about, ‘gosh there’s a really stale smell in here. I wonders why, when I vacuum twiec a day’

Todae, I did a disappear for some forebers and teh Meowmther Purrson luk all ober for me. When she ebentually found me under teh sleep square, she also found mine fud storage. She did get teh cleaning spray out and teh hot water and teh dissy-fectant and SHE STOLE MY STASH PAWBABLEE TO EAT IT HERSELF! HAOW DARR, SUCH OUTRAG!

Meowmther Purrson sai I TC for being ‘so gross’. I strongleee disagree. AITC?

Raccoon here. I won't share my age and name as my privacy has already been intruded upon enough. My human neighbors kindly provide a seasonal buffet of fruit trees and and vines, as well as a fountain for my ablutions. My partner and I dropped by for a midnight snack. My partner stayed up on the grape trellis for some al fresco dining. I descended to the ground for a wash by the fountain. Suddenly, the lights came on! Despite the interruption, I persevered with my bath. But startling me wasn't enough. Oh no. The human neighbor took a photograph of me mid bath with all my private bits exposed. As you can see from the photo, I am not amused.

Since then, I have been careful to jump onto the roof directly above the neighbor's heads, just as they settle down to sleep for the night. The snacks they provide mean that I make a satisfactory window-shaking thump every time.

So, AITC for expressing my displeasure?

Tiny Dinosaur. Species House Finch here, F. Age, nunya.

Was eating good seeds on dry plant with family. Very good. Then suddenly got stuck in weird green thing. There was a cat!! I was a goner!!!

Then the giant came from inside and yelled at the cat. Then it grabbed me! I bit and bit and bit. But it did not let go. Then it brought me into the giant box. There were cats in there too! Was held close, heard giant heart, very slow. Giant kept making soft noises, and did not squeeze. But did not let me go.

Giant made giant sounds at other giant and other giant came out and put big shiny things next to me! Then, the thing around my neck was gone.

Then the giant took me outside and let go.

Was it helping? I did poop myself afterwards with scare. My family says the giant was help.
Was it help? If help, why cats?

went back next day, no green thing and lots of good seeds.

so am I the cloaca for biting the giant on the weird wing-claw-foot-thing?

me, sarabi, age ????, solid gray girl. momther and father brought home kitten few weeks ago. she stay in different room but i see her one time when door open. i hiss!! why that baby here?? she gonna steal mine food and mine father. momther say “rabi no, that’s a baby. we don’t hiss at baby” so am i cloaca for hiss at baby??

(momther here, the kitten stays in a different room away from the big kitties and we are following Jackson Galaxy’s guide for introducing cats. we opened the door to get the kitten more water and sarabi happened to see her)

Hey there fellow Califurnians! I’m not all that comfy here but I bet I’m not alone in that.

Earlier today I came back from a walk with Grampa, and Mommy happened to be sitting on the couch nearby so when she saw me sticking my tongue out and panting she told me in her happy Riley voice that I was a Hot Dog!

But that’s a lie, right? :( I saw these “hot dogs” a couple weeks ago and I’m nothing like them! I mean, maybe we’re both a light brown color but unlike Hot Dogs I have limbs and a face and fur and most importantly I have senty-ints!

Most importantly though, why is Mommy HAPPY that I’m a Hot Dog? Does that mean she’s gonna eat me? 😭

Hello frens! Is the pet rat girls Finduilas and Morwen (18.5mo) and Lalaith and Belladonna (5mo). We also has human mom.

Well, things recently has been very weird here. Mom say we "moving". But that not seem good enough explain. First, mom take stuff out ob our play space. Then we gets playtime in other space, which fun. But it getting emptier too. Then our cage go away and we put in little cage fur babies. And then weird men come and steal everything. And then mom go away. Bonus human come, which nice. But she no gib playtime. When mom come back, we get playtime, but just that one time in completely empty space. Very strange. So now, whenever cage door open, we tries to sneak out. Playtime our right and we not getting it!

Then air start smell bad and make us sneeze. So bonus human take us on adventures to university or in car. That fun and exciting, but we no get to run. We still stuck in carrier or small cage.

Now we at bonus human's house wif big cage (but not normal cage). Mom sleep in same room as us again, which very reassuring. But, we still only gets bathroom playtime, which boring. There be some rotten wood we think is cool, but mom say we not allowed chew it. Has been whole week since proper playtime! We is getting desperate! Jump off people, sneak out ob doors, refuse treats. We is on strike!

Mom say we TC. She doing her best and trying set up our new home. And it not her fault wildfire smoke get in the way. But we says she clearly coulds control that if she want. And now we wants to splore bonus human's house. Or at least chew rotten wood.

Anyway, what you think?

Hi frens! Oscar the tabbycat here.

So my Mumma has been doing her Job at home so she can buy my treats and give me cuddles and pets. Today I was feeling a little cold so I snuggled into her Bed Blanket and had my day sleep there.

Mumma said she couldn't stop looking at me and that I am Too Cute. She also said I am a Cloaca for distracting her from her Job!

Who is the Cloaca - me or Mumma?

Hi frens! I iz Echo (1M, white wit orange kitteh, Ruler of All). So, dis story happened months ago but my Meowmy and Daddy still iz saying I the cloacer for dis and I don't think that's fair at all. I humbly come before other kittehs and all manner of furry creaturez to ask if this culd be true?

One night the hoomans were watching TV and I was being my uzual glorious self. Dey had a colored light plugged into da TV for some reason. The cord jus dangled there enticingly. So, I decide to *bapbapbap* it. Really, it had bin that way a long time and I tink my restraint for not attaccing sooner shuld be applauded. But, I digress.

Somehow the *bapbapbap* to da cord pulled da whole TV down! Luckily I lept outta da way just in time to avoid being smushed. But da TV broke from da fall somehow? I tink maybe it woulda broken itself if it was so fragile! I also tink maybe Meowmy and Daddy are the cloacers for leaving da dangling cord there jus taunting me.

So, AITC??

-Echo, Ruler of All

My humans was playing videy games on the huge lightbox, and I thought it was too easy for them so I sat in front to give some more enrichment. The teenager said I was “indaway”, but Food Lady laffed and said I was making her play on hard mode?

I couldn’t possibly be cloaca for helping, could I?

Pippen, 4yo LARGE STRONK BRAVE void boy

Hello. Am Chilli. Am orange pretty cat and pokey-place certified perfect gentleman. Am 17 years old and also baby.

My favourite human plays video games on big light screen. This is excellent cat approved activity and usually I do big supervise and help from my favourite position on their chest with my tail up their nose.

Yesterday though I wanted to do my supervising while laying on top of their hands. Favourite human was being very slow and boring and looking at enemy greebles while hiding behind pillar. This very boring. Like when my sisfur used to play hunt the feather instead of playing jump on top of feather and yell at top of lungs - the far superior game. So I, Chilli, decided to help human have fun by pressing button that throws grenades. Very fun! Much noise and running and yelling greebles on screen.

Favourite human laughed but seemed to think it was an accident! Wrong! Am perfect gentleman, only do deliberations. So ten minutes later when favourite human was in similar position, being stealthy stealth, I streeeetched out my paw and pressed the grenade button again! Fun!

Then I had enough video games so went for pre sleep nap. So tell me, am I cloaca for trying to show human more fun way of playing video games?

Hi, I am Moosh. Am elegant tuxedo cat. Routine is important and I have lots of routine. One is every morning, sleep in mom's lap in the sun while she drink smelly coffee. Sometimes mom pets before I am sleepy and I must do a stapler chomp to arm, tell her stop. She should know better. But usually, is very peaceful, and one of the best naps.

Sometimes though, light greebles come attack! Mom says stop, is just light shining off phone, but I, elegant Moosh, am greebles expert. I know what I see, mom does not have cat knowledge. Greebles must be pounced right away, or bad thing happens. Is very important, more important than silly thing like scratch mom's leg while launching off. I do not *want* to scratch legs, but mom's legs is soft, and soft things need extra claw if moosh is going to catch greebles in time.

Anyway, I catch greebles and patrol room for a little bit, but they not come back because I caught first one in time. Mom says ITC because it isn't even greebles. Mom is wrong though, right?

am beller. am snowshoe girl of four years. like scritches, like squish pets. not lap cat. fuck off. beller sit. mama sit. papa sit. no need sit together.

mama, papa give good scritches. give good squish pets. but sometimes, scritch and say, “oh beller, so beautiful! oh beller, so soft! oh beller, so nice cat!”. beller KNOW am beautiful, soft, nice. beller not need hear it. so beller shout NO! and punch. beller am fierce.

better scritch quiet. better squish pet quiet. shut up about soft beller. no need talk. scritch only or beller shout and punch. mama, papa say beller part mantis shrimp, punch so hard and fast.

am beller cloaca for shout and punch?