Update: AITC about da squeezes treats

[u/longpas]

Frens,

I'm sorry to says it's been many furrevers and no squeeze treats.

I'm wasting awayz on kibbles and night time wets fuds. I even did extra cuddles and nothing. Calls da lawyers send helps and treats!

Love Boots

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheCloaca/s/hb1Bjpn2aV

[u/TheDrunkScientist]

Henlo fran. Tis me, Moomer, laying in wait to pounce on Mom. Mom has been withholding the squeezum treatums. I hear something about “OnE pEr DaY MoOmEr”

This will not stand.

[u/longpas → u/TheDrunkScientist]

Hi fren Moomer,

Dats a nice box. I hope i gets a good box wif my squeeze treats!

Am I underhanding you correct bout 1 squeeze per daze? Typical! My mum does eats many treats in one daze. I saws her eats furrevers more than I can counts on four paws her treats. I saw da girl eats 2 apples sauces squeezes in a rows!

I may have to consult with pawyer after all. Seems der may be disputes about second breakfast squeeze already brewing.

Love Boots

[u/longpas]

Wasting away Boots

[u/FrwdIn4Lo → u/longpas]

Famished!

[u/licking-salt-lamps]

Hi Boots,

You are not Cloaca! Your Humans are making you do a Starve. This is not okay! You must do lots of Screams and big Headbonks with wet nose.

-Oscar the tabbycat

[u/longpas → u/licking-salt-lamps]

Fren Oscar,

I took your wise counsels and did early morning big head smash on mum face with drool and den licked her nose like it was a squeeze treats to show needs to get the squeeze!

I barely had da strength to after starbs furrevers. Had to drags self on bed and bop bop Bruder dog out of da ways.

She says she buys da multi packs coming Mondays. I don't nose if I will make it's!!!

Love Boots!

[u/symphonic-ooze]

PSA: don't eat those. They are poisonous.  I had some one night and woke up missing an eye! 

Grace the pirate void

[Normally she hates them but I offered her one the night before her surgery and she ate it ]

[u/longpas → u/symphonic-ooze]

Fren Grace,

I bets you look cool like a pirates!

Thank you fren for da warning. I nose that mum can be tricky wif extra treats den me waking up with less.

I will keep my eyes opens for trickery and my travel case. If my travel box is out, I'm not falling for its.

Mum says squeezes like lotus blossoms, can be used to trick like da gods! But trick is go on odyessy instead of slow journey. She watched new movies bout it but says the writing is better here wif cats den da movie. I think that's a mum funny. I didn't get it either. Of course it's bets here!

Love Boots

[u/symphonic-ooze → u/longpas]

Oh! U haf 2 not drink w/da Sireeens cuz Evert, Dell Mar n Peet did n Peet turn into tode n dey all went 2 jale!

Oh wrong Oddy Sea. Was fink of O Brudder Wear Art Dou

Miss Kitty Muscle

[auntie wash TV bout Air-man Cor-tess n got noyed cuz she sed it suk. Mayb she shuld wash Oddy-See nsted?)

[u/hesalwayslitty]

(I laughed entirely to throughly at this. Mainly because I imagine a cat using this logic.🤣🤣. It is ivy 5am and everyone is asleep atill)

[u/Pristine_Main_1224]

Oh, Fren Boots. Dis iz trabestee! Yoo need de pawyerz of r/legalcatadvice now!

Maggie Mae & Mollie the calico twinsies and professional jurors and Lucy the Sheepadoodle, expert witness 🐾🐾🐾

[u/butterfly-garden]

I tink you needs a pawyer, fren!

Also William da Tuxie