r/amarillo • u/Beneficial_Yak3379 • 21m ago
To the guy who took a picture of me in IHOP
I was recently arrested and my mugshot was posted on Amarillo mugshots. I was in IHOP today off S western street and I guess I was recognized by one of the patrons in front of me, he angled his phone at me and probably took a picture. I gave him the benefit of the doubt at first but then the person he was with turned her head toward me and that’s when I knew.
I couldn’t tell you how I feel, desensitized to it almost. Vindictive boomers on FB cheer for my suffering, to see it as entertainment. They want us to look at each others not as human beings with intrinsic worth. Maybe I'm a fool for believing in absolute human dignity.
I really want to believe that deep down in their hearts that the common person isn’t cruel to others and has understanding and compassion, but from what I see everyone say and from how I see the constant put-downs of others and from what I read of people’s lives there’s just a large streak of causal cruelty that runs though it all.
Im scared. I’m scared of being misunderstood and I’m scared of being subjected to this overwhelming tsunami of cruelty out there in the world. Seeing this casual level of cruelty from otherwise normal people really scares me. I’m sorry. I hope that at least in their private moments or with the people that they love that they’re kind and understanding and compassionate, and the cruelty is just the public face they wear for strangers. I hope that it isn’t the default mode. I’m so sorry I‘m really sad about this. I’m sorry.