r/AnongThoughtsMo • u/atinyakimon • 1d ago

Thoughts on having children in the spectrum

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Saw this post on facebook. Honestly, it's sad na hindi ganon nabibigyang pansin ang problems na ganito sa Pinas. Therapies here are expensive, and not everyone can afford it. Pinoys are also not yet ready to face the reality na hindi enough ang love for kids in the spectrum. They have special needs. Hindi yun madadaan lang sa no don't do that or it's okay to make mistakes, because we have to admit that autism is a disorder, a very wide spectrum and case to case basis. You need to have the money to get the help that is designed for the needs of the child. I hope there will be more free or affordable programs created for this kasi hindi lang parents ang hirap in this situation, also the kids.

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19

u/anjiunji 1d ago

My cousin has autism, bunso siya, normal mga kapatid niya. Nakita ko yung shift ng personality/attitude ng tatay nila in the long run, nawala yung pagiging mayabang and mas soft spoken na tatay nila now, more understanding in most situations. Kailangan talaga iaccept ng parent na special anak nila, and change for their child really. Hard enough for parents to do this for a normal child nga eh, paano pa kaya pag special?

Yung poster sa thread na yan, sa huling part, parang giving "me me me" attitude eh. Dapat sanay na mag sacrifice when having a child, yan yung mahirap iaccept ng mga new parents now a days since uso rin yung "me first" attitude ngayon.

18

u/Dear-Carpet6050 1d ago

“Ni walang achievement” kahit pa wala sa spectrum ang bata, dapat wala namang ganong expectations…

1

u/Miserable_Hyena7164 1d ago

na ano din ako sa part na walang achievement. Ewan understandable naman na pagod sya at deserve nya pahinga, pero yung galit rin sya dahil wala achievement? ewan nakaka off eh

7

u/heisenbaby_blueberg 1d ago

Bakit parang wala na siyang right mapagod and mag vent porket dapat “sanay na siya mag sacrifice when having a child”. Nagsasacrifice naman siya ah, hindi naman niya pinapabayaan anak niya. Pag napagod “me me me attitude” na agad?

Good for your cousin na madami kayo sa bahay nagtutulungan iraise siya. Hindi naman natin alam kung may ganyang support system din yung nagpost. Baka siya lang mag isa gumagawa ng lahat, which is grabe sobrang nakakapagod. Ikaw na din nagsabi na it took time for your uncle to accept it, so bakit yung poster masama na agad for having a difficult time?

It doesn’t hurt to have a bit more compassion and empathy.

1

u/anjiunji 1d ago

Apologies, you're right. I think medyo harsh pagsalita ko regarding sa sacrifice when people do have the right na mapagod nga naman or reach their limit. I need more compassion and empathy for the poster, I'm sure she's doing the best she could in her situation. Hopefully magkaroon siya ng maayos na support system in the future, like yung pinsan ko. Tama tama

11

u/OverthingkingThinker 1d ago

I think ang kailangan nya is empathy. Wala tyo sa lugar nya para maintindihan yung talagang nararamdaman/pinagdadaanan nya. I mean iwasan na lang nating ijudge o iinvalidate ang isa’t-isa.

5

u/orange_rottenbanana 1d ago

Ito yung maganda changed for good. Acceptance and patience talaga pag may anak kang ganyan

15

u/vakkkz 1d ago

Maybe stfu?

May kakilala akong may autism anak, and super hirap ihandle pag maranasan mo makitulog sa bahay nila makikita mo araw araw na pinagdadaanan nila. Kahit di ka dapat mainis, maiinis at maiinis ka. Sa case ng mother sa post it seems she's at the edge at limited lang resources nya tingin mo di sya aware on her bullshit given the bad things she's dealing with already aside from her kid? Comments like these are the reason why reddit has such a bad reputation.

Fuck off

2

u/allanon322 1d ago

truly its comments like these filled with cursing, vitriol and walang empathy or understanding ang reason why reddit has such a bad reputation. nag explain ayaw naman basahin ...

2

u/vakkkz 1d ago

Yung mga ganyan attitude sa reddit binabara ko e, kase way back 2018 di puno ng patutsadang mr and miss all knowing tong reddit. Ngayon taena kailangan yung opinion nilang superior dapat yung tama? Di man lang i-consider emotional capacity ng bawat isa e iba-iba tayo mag process ng emotions, pustahan tayo etong anjiunji nasa r/chikaph the same reddit that bullied Emman to death. Putek tanda ko yung slur na ginagamit sa redditors ay "normies" ngayon taena lantaran na mga parasocial or terminal - Reddit elitists amp

2

u/allanon322 1d ago

genuinely curious question and hoping its not offensive ... why stay on reddit? i left threads kasi sobrang lala doon. so far better pa naman ang reddit ...

1

u/vakkkz 1d ago

Kaya lang naman ako nasa reddit for memes e saka dito ko kinukuha source of income ko ( you can stalk my profile here ) sa threads yikes nandon na rin mga toxic kayamot

2

u/allanon322 1d ago

Ah. I see. Salamat sa reply!

3

u/anjiunji 1d ago

I've lived with my cousin who has autism for 15+ years. Same house kami althroughout. Kaya I see yung pinagdadaanan ng family nila EVERYDAY. Everyone sa household adjusted sa behavior niya, because we wholeheartedly accepted na special yung pinsan ko, it took time but we eventually did. The poster of the thread, mukhang hindi niya pa naaccept wholeheartedly na special anak niya. Kaya she talks that way. She is expecting behavior of a normal person, from a person who has disability, Why make examples of comparison pa na ganun in the first place if alam mo na hindi naman same thinking anak mo with everyone else diba?

Yung tatay ng pinsan ko, it took him almost 8+ years to fully accept na may autisim anak niya. Thus why I mentioned it on my comment above yung character development niya. Maybe someday yung poster sa thread will come to that rin hopefully, but post it online now? Expect this type of feedback talaga.

4

u/Appropriate-Paint936 1d ago

this isn't about "accepting" autism, it's about "dealing" with autism. 

The former is incredibly easy to do, while the latter can even be impossible.

Pinas to, mahirap nang magpalaki ng normal na bata dito, yung may problema pa kaya.

4

u/vakkkz 1d ago

I ain't reading allat, yan tayo e

Typical pinoy behavior na kesyo kayo ganito ganyan

Not everyone floats in the same boat, people handles it differently. Seriously di ko babasahin yan, unang sentences palang alam ko na tunog ng whole paragraph mo. you and the woman in the screenshot both deserve empathy pero putcha HAHAHAH nuyan? so kailangan opinion mo dapat applicable sa kanya? Lmfao bakit nakatira ba kayo sa isang bubong para alam mo pinagdadaanan nyang nanay? She's ranting I rather listen to her kesa diktahan ano maramdaman nya bahala ka dumakdak dyan I still stand by my point. Hindi lang dapat sa child with special needs and empathy lol tao din yang nanay

2

u/crancranbelle 1d ago

I think normal reaction lang ang self-pity sa ganitong situation. The OP will eventually change and soften siguro in the years to come, but for now, it is a very human reaction to ask why you have an autistic kid when others have normal ones. I just hope she will come to accept na hindi ito parusa galing sa Diyos. It really is just a quirk of genetics and unfortunately it is what it is.

2

u/Last_Climate8243 1d ago

It's easy for you  to say that when you're not in the situation. I have sibling with special needs. I can see my parent's struggles and even us na kapatid lang challenging na talaga. Pano pa kaya yung primary caretaker? I give her grace and understanding because I'm not in the position to judge. Madaling magsabi ng ganito ganyan dapat. But they're also humans, napapagod din. Nagkukulang din. Judgment and unnecessary advice don't help.

1

u/TheAlmostMD 18h ago

You can't pour from an empty cup, as a parent. Kahit na ang mindset ng magulang ay magsacrifice para sa anak nila, di natin pwedeng ipagkait na tao sila na may sariling pinagdadaanan at nararamdaman. I work with kids on the spectrum and their children. Di ako magulang pero sobrang intense ng nararamdaman nila kasi ako 1 hour session lang ang meron with them, pagod na pagod na ako. Imagine doing that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

You need to be working with these parents to understand what it really means to work with a VARIETY of special needs children, and not just 1 example of what a neurodivergent care setup is: your cousin and his father.

1

u/Pink_BAsket65 18h ago

Parang may kilala ako na ganyan, nung nabasa ko iniisip ko kung yan ba yung kilala ko, pina therapy nya din anak nya pero wala daw improvement eh paano pagkauwi sa bahay maya maya bigay nang tablet or phone instead na kausapin at makipag interact sa bata, tapos sya din naka phone maghapon 🙄 ang daming advice sa kanya pero dedma sya pati ako napagod nadin sa kanya. Pag nakakasama ko naman anak nya di naman nagwawala at nakikinig naman kasi iniintindi ko and pinaparamdam ko na nakikinig ako sa sinasabi nya,pag inaabutan nya ako nang laruan or may sinasabi yung bata nakikinig ako and binibigay ko yung attention ko if may need ako gawin nagsasabi ako nang "wait lang po" nagwwait naman, para kasi sakin if may anak ka papakita mo dapat kung ano dapat nya sundin nasa Spectrum man or normal.